Beth - Part 3 - Recovery and Redemption
by Saddletramp
Summary: Part 3 of the Beth series - what would happen if the boys fell in love and got married. Slim and Mort rescue the gravely injured Jess. He has a long and arduous recovery in front of him. Will the Jess Harper that recovers be the man they knew? Will Jess finally find the love of his life?**Writer error regarding antibiotics. If you feel I need to re-write that section, please PM me.


BETH – PART 3 - RECOVERY AND REDEMPTION

This is the 3rd and final part - part of the challenge – what would happen if the boys fell in love and got married. Each story stands alone, but it helps to have read them in order.

Author's note – yes, I totally made up Jess' and Slim's full names. And yes, I ignored the necessity of some bodily functions. Hey – it's fiction – roll with it.

_Intravenous fluids were first used in 1832 but not widely used until the 1900s. syringes were used as early as the 1850s._

_NOTE: I messed up. I researched all the medical "stuff" but seem to have missed researching antibiotics. Antibiotics, as we know them, didn't exist until 1909 and the term wasn't used until much later. Treatment for fever and infection included the use of various dried and ground barks added to water for the person to drink. Quinine was also used at this time. . Laudanum and Morphine did exist and were used for pain relief . .let me know if you feel I should re-write that portion of the story._

**CHAPTER 1 -**_**Beth Sherman writes**_

It has been two weeks since we learned Jess Harper, my husband's partner, was missing. At first, we didn't realize anything was wrong. Jess had ridden out of our lives over a year ago. He didn't want to leave but family obligations called him. His sister, Francie, had sent for him after her husband died. She needed him. We offered to make a home for Francie here at the ranch, but she didn't want to leave the home she had made with Ben. Before Jess left, he had asked Slim to take back his half of the ranch. He didn't expect to return. Slim had talked him into postponing dissolving the partnership. Give it a year he had said.

Slim missed his partner but worked tirelessly to implement the changes they had designed for our Sherman Harper ranch. Proof lay in the new buildings and corrals; new breeding stock – almost everything the two had planned for their future. Also, an added bonus was the birth of Nathanial Mathew Sherman. Slim was now a daddy. We wanted Jess home so much it hurt. We knew he would revel in being an uncle.

We found out Jess was heading home by accident. Our friend and Laramie Sherriff, Mort Cory along with U. S. Marshal, Branch McGary had stopped by for a social visit. It was then we learned of Jess' intentions to return home. Branch had actually talked to Jess only days before he had visited the ranch. We never received the telegram Jess was supposed to have sent. Working together, Slim, Mort, and Branch tracked Jess all the way through Medicine Bow and another, smaller town before he seemed to have disappeared into thin air. That was two weeks ago.

Much has happened in those two weeks – and it is all bad. Verified reports began coming into Mort Cory's office about Jess. By the end of the second week, there was a twenty-five hundred dollar – dead or alive - bounty on Jess. Only a few days later, a telegram arrived issuing and 'on sight' warrant for Jess. Essentially, it was a death warrant. Even if Jess surrendered, it was now legal to hang him instead of bringing him in for trial. Fearful of the bounty hunters the reward would attract, Slim accepted Mort's advice to move Nathan and me into town. With us safely ensconced at Mort's house, they were free to search for Jess – hoping against hope they would find him alive.

_**CHAPTER TWO**_

_Raising anguished eyes to meet Mort's, Slim said in a choked whisper. "I was too late." Then, looking back down and drawing Jess' body closer to himself said bitterly. "He's dead, Mort. They beat the hell out of him and then they hung him . . . and the fire. Did they set it on purpose to cover up his murder? They hung him, Mort" Slim whispered repeatedly, overwhelmed by his grief. "They hung him."_

_He felt an unseen hand touch his shoulder and it startled him. He thought he heard Jess's voice saying "I'm sorry Slim. I didn't make it home this time." _

_Slim gently cradled Jess' body even closer to himself. His cheek pressed against the top of Jess' head, Slim softly whispered, "Don't worry, Pard. You're going home. I'm taking you home where you belong."_

_Mort patted his shoulder sympathetically, saying, "I'll get some blankets to cover him."_

"_Mort," Slim pleaded, wiping a sleeve across is eyes; "Can you take these off of him?" he nodded to the cuffs. "He doesn't need to go home in chains."_

"_Sure, son, I should have thought of that myself." Mort knelt, fished a key out of his pocket, and unsuccessfully tried to insert it into the lock. He looked more closely, realizing that it would never open. He checked the others to find the same thing. "I'm sorry, Slim, there's no key that'll unlock these. We're going to have to file them off – or get the blacksmith to chisel them off."_

_Slim nodded his understanding but refused to relinquish Jess from his arms. He continued to hold Jess closely, his cheek still resting against his partner, unconsciously rocking back and forth as if comforting him. Speaking more to himself than Mort, Slim murmured, "He still had nightmares from when he was in prison. He wouldn't talk about it, but you'll remember how he reacted in the early days, those times when you had to arrest him. He hated being shackled - brought back too many bad memories. This" he said indicating the chains on Jess' wrists and ankles. "This must have driven him crazy." Slim gently traced the red mark encircling Jess's neck and wept. Still unable to comprehend his partner was gone, he repeated once more. "They hung him, Mort." Slim looked up, imploring Mort to understand. "I don't want anyone to see him like this. The town doesn't need to know."_

_Mort patted Slim's shoulder sympathetically before saying, "I'll get those blankets. We'll do right by him. We'll use the wagon to take him back. No one will know. Jess will go home with dignity."_

Just as Mort turned away, Slim felt Jess' body stiffen and both men heard what sounded like Jess trying to take a breath. "Jess!" Slim cried out as Mort once again knelt beside him. "Jess" Slim called, not believing what he had heard. Then Jess drew in a strangled breath, sucking fresh air into his lungs. Jess' eyes flew open, panic clearly visible in his cobalt eyes. His body arched tensely as his throat wheezed and he struggled with every attempt to breathe. "Easy, Jess, easy." Slim soothed. "You're safe. Rest easy now. We're gonna get you home." Slim saw a glimmer of recognition before the panic in Jess' eyes melted away and he surrendered to unconsciousness.

_**CHAPTER THREE**_

Dr. Hanson heard someone pounding on his back door. He was shocked when Slim Sherman kicked it open. Carrying someone wrapped in blankets, Slim entered, followed closely by Mort Cory. Without preamble, Slim carried his bundle into the examination room and laid Jess on the table.

Even though he was a doctor, Hanson was horrified at the sight before him, barely recognizing the man lying there. His heart sank upon seeing the festered wounds. It was obvious his friend had been imprisoned and tortured. Rallying himself, Dr. Hanson began giving both Mort and Slim instructions for helping him. Angered the handcuffs and shackles hindered his work; he dispatched Mort to find the local blacksmith.

Dr. Hanson worked at cleaning the wounds he could reach until the blacksmith arrived. Slim supported Jess' limp body while Mort held the shackles steady as the blacksmith carefully and methodically drove the rivets from the metal imprisoning Jess' limbs. The sound of the chains hitting the floor echoed like thunder through the quiet sick room.

As the blacksmith sorrowfully turned to leave, he found Mort Cory's hand fisted in his shirt. Mort's face was inches from the surprised man. "Not one word." Mort threatened. "Not one word of this to anyone!" The blacksmith looked back at Jess' limp form where Dr. Hanson and Slim were already re-settling Jess on the examination table, before shaking his head. "I wouldn't do that to him, Mort. Jess has always been good to me. I won't tell anyone." Satisfied, Mort released the blacksmith and let him go on his way.

Finishing a full exam, Dr. Hanson, stepped back shaking his head. "Who did this to him?" he said, not really expecting an answer. "He's got a concussion from multiple blows to the head – looks like he was pistol whipped several times. Darn lucky he doesn't have a fractured skull. And the bruising; some of it is new and some of it is older. They must have beat him on a daily basis because they've beat him within an inch of his life – they just may have killed him." Sighing, he went on. "He's dehydrated, mal-nourished, numerous cuts, and abrasions, the open sores on his back." He paused, dreading continuing the list of injuries. "His wrists are stripped raw; his elbows are swollen and both shoulders are dislocated. There's been some form of extreme stress placed on them– from what, I don't know; maybe suspended for a length of time. It's going to take weeks for those muscles to mend. He's got at least three broken ribs. His left hand is broken – has been so for a length of time. It has already started to knit back together. I'm going to have to re-break it to set it right, so he won't be crippled. His right hand isn't broken, but it's crushed and severely bruised. The wound in his leg is infected. He's already running a fever...And he was hung – more than once."

Mort and Slim's heads jerked up. "What do you mean – more than once?" Slim demanded. His stomach lurched at the thought someone could be so cruel.

"Well, look at his neck. There's several distinct rope burns. His larynx and I don't know what all else may have been crushed from being hung. It will be a while, if ever, before he can speak again. I don't know how he's even alive."Looking at Mort and Slim he said. "I'll do all can, but I don't expect him to live through the night."

Slim turned away from the examination table, pressing his forehead against his arm on the door jam. He couldn't look at anyone in the room. He was fighting to control the emotions threatening to overwhelm him. He couldn't lose Jess now. Not now, Jess had been gone for over a year and was coming home. He needed to come home.

"Slim," Dr. Hanson called, "Would you please go fetch the hot water from Mrs. Hanson? It should be ready about now. I'll need your help to clean Jess up before I can even work on him further. Slim nodded and went to do as asked. He didn't see the doctor indicating to Mort there was no hope.

It seemed like forever before Dr. Hanson and Slim had Jess cleaned up enough to be treated. Slim carefully shaved the two-week beard growth from Jess's face. It hurt him to see the bruised skin and gaunt features on his once robust friend. Jess never moved or gave any indication he was aware of what was happening. Dr. Hanson brushed a sympathetic hand across Jess' forehead. "You've had tough time of it, boy. I'm so sorry someone did this to you. There might be a chance, if only we could get some fluids into you." He paused then, straightening with a gleam in his eyes.

He rushed past a surprised Slim and pulled a book from the shelf. He thumbed frantically through the pages until he came to what he was seeking. Exclaiming excitedly, he set about collecting a variety of items. "Fluids!" he exclaimed to a puzzled Slim and Mort. "Fluids!" he repeated. "It's called an intravenous transfusion or IV drip. We replace the body's depleted fluids with what they call a saline solution. I can make it right here. It'll give him a chance!"

They watched in fascination as the doctor assembled his contraption. When he was through, a bag of what Slim thought looked like water, suspended above the examination table. A tube ran from it to a needle inserted into the vein in Jess' arm. Then they waited. Dr. Hanson let out a sigh of relief as Jess' color began to change, losing the pale, dried out look it had had. His skin took on a healthier plumpness; no longer looking like tissue paper attached to a boney skeleton.

Dr. Hanson grinned broadly, as he stood and checked that the fluids were dripping as expected. "I can administer antibiotics through this same tube." He said excitedly. "For now, we won't have to worry about getting him to drink water or the antibiotics. This'll take care of those needs. However, we have to get some nourishment into him. Heaven only knows when the last time he ate anything. How long has he been gone?"

"He's been missing for about two weeks. But we have no idea when he was actually kidnapped. He was headed home, so we aren't positive of the timeline." Slim answered.

Dr. Hanson looked horrified as he looked back and forth between Slim and Mort. "Thank goodness he's as stubborn as he is. This was more than enough to kill a lesser man." He patted Jess' shoulder companionably. "Hang in there, Jess. We're doing the best we can."

Dr. Hanson pulled a stool and tray of supplies up close to the bed. Sitting down, he spoke more to himself than the others in the room. "Now, let's see what we can do about these other injuries."

With the help of Mrs. Hanson, Slim and Mort as assistants, Dr. Hanson worked over Jess for the next several hours. When he slid the stool back, Jess was swathed in bandages including his wrists and both hands.

"If I can keep the fever down, he might survive – but I don't know if he has enough fight left in him to live. Jess is tough – has been since I've known him. But this, this may have been too much for even him to handle. If he survives, he's got a long recovery ahead of him. I'm talking six months to a year to get back to anything resembling himself. I'm sorry, but this is all I can do for him for now. The rest is up to him

Dr. Hanson stood up, stretching his aching muscles. "Go home you two." he said indicating Slim and Mort. "I have no idea when he'll wake up – if ever. We've all done all we can." He cut Slim off before he could voice his objection. "No arguments! You'll do no one any good if you are exhausted when he wakes up. And Slim, if you could get Beth to come in to sit with Jess, it would help a great deal."

Slim nodded his understanding as he and Mort left the doctor's office.

_**CHAPTER FOUR – Beth writes**_

It was after dark when Mort and Slim stepped into the living room. Both men looked dead on their feet; tired, dirty, unshaven and eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep. They moved like shadows of each other, sorrow etched in their haggard faces.

"Oh, no" was all I could utter; interpreting Slim's demeanor to mean Jess was dead.

Slim wrapped me in his arms, laying his head against mine. I could feel his grief. I held him tight, trying to give him my strength. He just stood there, hand on the wall peg where he'd hung his gun belt, lost in his own grief stricken, exhausted world. I took his hand and led him over to the table where Mort had already taken a seat; leaving them while I fetched them both coffee and the supper I had kept warm.

When I came back, Slim was sitting with his elbows on the table, head bowed; forehead resting against clasped hands. I quietly set the coffee and a plate of food in front of him. I rubbed his neck and shoulders, finally feeling the tenseness ease. He drank the coffee but only pushed the food around on his plate. He stared into the coffee cup, silent for so long it scared me. Standing behind him, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, clasping my hands across his chest, waiting for him to say something. He continued to stare into his coffee cup. Mort was the same way, not eating; just staring into his coffee cup.

"We found Jess." Slim said so low I could barely hear him. "He's in a coma, most likely dying."

"Then what are you doing here?" I asked, knowing the bond between the two of them. I was incredulous Slim would have left Jess' bedside.

He shook his head before answering. "Doc threw Mort and me out of his office. Told us to go home and get some sleep. There was nothing more we could do. He did ask if you'd come sit by Jess – just in case. Besides, I needed to let you know we were okay, and we'd found Jess."

"You going to get some sleep?" I asked, watching, as he shook his head no.

"Can't." He said, still speaking so low I could barely hear him. "I keep seeing Jess' body twisting at the end of a rope." He unashamedly wiped tears away from his eyes.

It took me a moment to understand what Slim was saying. When the realization hit me, my stomach rolled, threatening to empty its contents.

He leaned back, towards me, resting his head against me. I tightened my arms, drawing him even closer. With one hand, I stroked the side of his face, pretending I didn't feel the moisture I found there. I kissed the top of his head then laid my cheek against him.

Daisy's last words echoed through my thoughts. Slim was finally sharing the burden; the weight of being the head of the household. He was leaning on me, trusting me to help him find the answer to his divided loyalties – whether his place was here with Nathan and me, or at the bedside of his best friend and partner – Jess.

Making a decision, I said. "If I go stay with Jess, will you at least lie down for a couple hours?" I knew he wanted to argue; to go back to Doc's against orders – to be with Jess in his dying hours. "I'll come get you and Mort if there is any change – any change, I promise."

"I don't care what Doc says, you need to be with Jess." I told him. It was a statement, not a question. "I'll go now and take Nathan with me. You clean up and come along in a couple of hours. You'll never forgive yourself if you aren't there when…when…" I turned away, unable to finish the sentence. I stayed only long enough to see both Mort and Slim close their bedroom doors before slipping out into the street and high tailing it down to Dr. Hanson's office. Mrs. Hanson let me in, grateful to have an extra hand to watch over Jess.

Jess lay motionless, his slow, raspy breathing the only sign he was alive. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. I was taken aback by seeing his deteriorated body. I couldn't even hold his hand because his hands and wrists were bandaged like most of the rest of his body – including his neck. Neither Slim nor Dr. Hanson would tell me what all Jess had been through. I'm not sure whether they, themselves, even knew the whole story.

Dr. Hanson pulled me aside before retiring for the night. "Beth," he said sadly, "Jess is dying. I don't know how he can possibly survive all the damage to his body. Not this time. I'm afraid time has run out for him. "He shook his head. "Talk to him. Let him know you're here. Maybe it'll help – it certainly can't hurt. Moreover, call me if there is any change – and I do mean ANY change. Even if his breathing just slows or anything – I want to know; and we'll have to send for Slim in time for him to be here. He'll want that."

Left alone with Jess, I gently stroked his cheek with the back of my hand. Now I understood why Slim had been on the verge of tears. He knew he was losing his best friend permanently. I leaned over and whispered into Jess's ear "You have to come back to us. You have to meet your nephew. Nathanial needs his uncle to spoil him. We need you. Come home to us, Jess. Please come home."I searched his face for any sign of recognition, disappointed when I saw none. I spent the ensuing hours quietly telling Jess about the improvements on the ranch; how Slim was now on phase three of the plans and we were just waiting for him to come home to begin building his house. Before I knew it, the sun was beginning to peak over the eastern horizon.

_**CHAPTER FIVE – Beth writes**_

Dr. Hanson came to check Jess. He was surprised but pleased Jess had made it through the night. He checked the bandages for leakage and changed those needing it. Despite my nursing experience, even I cringed at the damage to Jess' body revealed when Dr. Hanson changed the bandages.

Slim slipped into the room. He looked marginally better than when we had parted last night. At least he got a couple of hours of sleep. He was deeply concerned about Jess; the worry lines etched upon his lean face. They had come so far and done so much together, he would not even contemplate it was about to end.

Dr. Hanson didn't give us much encouragement for a good outcome. His biggest fear was Jess would give up and stop fighting to live. But he promised to do everything in his power to save Jess. Right now, that consisted of finding a way to get nourishment into him. The IV solution had only been useful in re-hydrating his body and dispensing the needed antibiotics. Now, without something for his body to use in rebuilding the damage, he wouldn't last much longer. Luckily, his swallow reflexes still partially worked; albeit requiring us to massage his neck to get the lifesaving liquid into his body.

Mrs. Hanson began keeping a pot of broth on the stove. She, Slim, Dr. Hanson, and I took turns every hour or so to get a couple tablespoons of broth into Jess. It was all his compromised throat could handle. Dr. Hanson was afraid any more than a few tablespoons at a time would overwhelm his already taxed system. It became our routine for the next few days.

Despite the antibiotics Dr. Hanson administered, fever took a deeper hold on Jess. His temperature spiked early one morning, his skin blistering hot to the touch. We took turns placing cool cloths on his face – the only part of his body not covered in bandages. It was all we could do to fight the fever threatening to take him from us. Although pneumonia had not set in, Jess wheezed and fought for every breath he drew. In his fevered delirium, he was restless, his head rolling back and forth while his bandaged hands tried to escape being strapped across his chest. Slim was never far from Jess, often falling asleep at Jess' bedside before we forced him to go down to Mort's house for meals and to stretch out for a while. He barely ate and rarely slept more than a couple hours before returning. He was beginning to look as haggard as Jess; his weight loss evident to anyone who knew him. Finally, Dr. Hanson slipped some sleeping powder into Slim's coffee, ensuring he would sleep. We made him as comfortable as possible in the Doc's spare room where he slept for a full day and night.

Slim was on his feet as soon as he awoke and was back beside Jess' bed in an instant. He was relieved to see the fever had broken. The crisis was over, but Jess had not regained consciousness. Dr. Hanson was still worried over this. He had no way of knowing when Jess would come out of the coma, if ever.

At the end of the second week, Jess still laid in a coma. Dr. Hanson called us into his office, leaving the door to Jess' room ajar. We had a feeling we would not like what he was about to say.

_**CHAPTER SIX – Beth writes**_

"No!" Slim and I answered in unison. Dr. Hanson had just proposed moving Jess to a hospital in Denver.

Slim continued, "He just got home – was headed home. If he wakes up some place strange, he'll think we sent him away – that this isn't his home anymore. I won't have that."

"But, Slim" Dr. Hanson tried reasoning with him; "They have better facilities there. He'll have around the clock care and a physical therapist to keep his muscles from atrophying from lack of use. We just don't have the capacity to care for him while he's in a coma."

"I don't want him that far away. What if something happens?"

"Slim, we're talking about what is best for Jess."

"No." Slim was adamant. "Maybe we could hire someone to come here. We've got room at the ranch. Beth and I would be close by if he needs anything. I want him home when he wakes up."

"But, Slim, he could be in a coma for years."

"Or wake up tomorrow." Slim retorted.

We were interrupted by the sound of glass breaking in Jess' room. We rushed in to see Jess' water glass broken on the floor. Jess' eyes were open. As we gathered around his bed, we could barely hear him as he hoarsely whispered, "Let . . . me . . . die." It was obvious the effort to speak had been very painful, may have been too much for him because he said no more; closed his eyes, and became unresponsive once again.

Slim latched onto Jess' bandaged hand, leaned in close and whispered "You're not going to die. I won't let you. You're coming home and you're going to get well. You hear me. You're going to get well."

_**CHAPTER SEVEN – Beth writes**_

Slim and I spent the next two weeks taking turns feeding and watching over a still unresponsive Jess. He lay so still it scared us all. His labored breathing had eased, a sign his broken ribs were healing. The steady rise and fall of his chest were the only signs he was alive. Dr. Hanson still fretted over his unresponsiveness, hoping it merely meant Jess' body was channeling all its resources into healing itself.

Dr. Hanson called us in for another meeting. "Slim, Mary Beth" he began. "Jess has been here four weeks. There's no improvement and you are both exhausted. You have a ranch, relay station, store, and a baby to take care of. This can't go on any longer."

"He's not going to Denver." Slim broke in. Dr. Hanson held up his hands in surrender.

"I've got a possible solution, if you agree." He paused, unsure how to explain his idea. It was radical for the times but was the only workable solution. "There is a widowed lady, her sister-in-law and her daughter who have just moved here to Laramie. Doreen McConnell is a trained nurse. I've talked to them. They would be willing to take care of Jess in their home – it's just down the street. Jess would have around the clock care right here where I can keep an eye on him. You'll be able to visit at will and get back to some semblance of a normal life. We're in this for the long haul, so you need to plan for the future; both your own and Jess'." He paused before continuing. "It won't be cheap, but it is the only solution that works for everyone."

Dr. Hanson took Slim and I to meet Doreen McConnell, the trained nurse and to see where Jess would be staying. We found Doreen to be very nice and she seemed competent.

Arrangements were made and a few days later, a still comatose Jess was transferred to the McConnell home. Slim and I stayed by Jess' beside until we reluctantly had to say good night. Tomorrow we would move back to the ranch to resume our lives. I knew Slim would spend every spare moment at Jess' side. However, we did have a ranch to run. Ray and Frank had taken care of things for us while we had been away – but the ranch was our responsibility. I'm sure Mort was more than ready to have his house back to himself. He had been so gracious in letting us stay on with him. We would never be able to thank him enough for his kindness.

_**CHAPTER EIGHT**_

As expected, Slim spent every possible moment at Jess' bedside. No longer afraid Jess' death imminent, Slim begun to refocus on running the ranch. However, nothing could keep him from being with Jess. Slim insisted he needed to be there when Jess woke up. He'd need the reassurance he was safe and in caring hands. Slim knew Jess might panic if he woke up alone to find himself in an unfamiliar place, body bandaged, and his both arms strapped to his chest. Jess hated feeling vulnerable.

There started to be signs Jess might be coming out of his coma. Occasionally his limbs would twitch, or he'd roll his head back and forth and moan only to go quiet again. Yet he never opened his eyes or reacted when spoken to. As those moments came more often, Jess sometimes became highly agitated, writhing as if he were trying to escape some unknown assailant. Dr. Hanson worried Jess might be in extreme pain, but he had nothing to confirm the diagnosis. When Jess became a danger to himself or Doreen, Dr. Hanson had no choice but to drug him. It never occurred to Dr. Hanson that these episodes only occurred during the day. He was never summoned to Jess' bedside during the night.

If the doctor had been there during the night, he would have heard the soft voice whose words calmed an agitated Jess. He'd have seen the hands soothingly stroke the patient's hair until he quieted and tenderly wiped the tears, which leaked from the rancher's eyes. He'd have seen her wipe the beads of sweat away with a cool cloth until Jess' body relaxed and he slipped back into whatever world trapped him between sleeping and waking.

When another week had gone by and Jess showed no more signs of waking, Dr. Hanson became concerned. The signs were all there – Jess should have regained consciousness. He consulted with experts from the eastern hospitals. Cumulatively, they came to one conclusion: Jess did not want to wake up. Dr. Hanson rested his hand on Jess' shoulder, his concern for his patient evident. It had been one of his fears –Jess' treatment at the hands of his captors had been so brutal that Jess had retreated into his own mind. Unconsciousness was his escape from the real world and the pain of his healing body. Jess wouldn't come out of this until he was ready – if ever.

_**CHAPTER NINE - Beth writes**_

Slim and I had discussed in length how we were going to pay for Jess' care. We had almost a year's worth of Jess' wages from the money he had sent home. Neither of us wanted to touch that. That was for whatever Jess chose to spend it on. He'd earned it separate from the ranch and we both felt it was his. Slim had also deposited Jess' share of the ranch income into Jess' account. Again, we felt that money belonged to Jess. Jess was half owner in this ranch. Being part owner in the business made this ranch business. It would be rough, but we could swing the cost of Jess' care. Then I got an idea. I needed to check out some things first, so I didn't tell Slim about it.

"You did WHAT?" Slim practically yelled when I broke the news to him. I knew this was how he might react. Luckily, we were alone at Mort's house. This was the only opportunity I had to tell him what I had done.

"How could you do that?" He asked bewildered. We rarely had arguments, but this one was about to be a humdinger. He paced the room, raking his fingers through his hair.

"Mathew Lawrence Sherman," I began. "Just who owns that General Store?"

"You do." He stopped pacing, knowing it was trouble when I used his full name.

"And when we got married, who said I could do whatever I wanted to do with it?"

Chagrined, he swallowed loudly. "I did."

"And who said that whatever money I made at the store was mine to do as I pleased?"

He swallowed again. "I did."

"Have you ever interfered or told me how to run the store?"

"No."

"Then why are you having a conniption fit because I sold 49% interest in the store to Tom Finch?"

"Um . . ."

"For cash, mind you, for cash."

"But . . ."

"No buts about it. Tom's been a great manager. He's made me quite a bit of money with the way he has managed the store. He's wanted to buy it for some time now. I just hadn't wanted to let it go. I'm still part owner. But this money; this money plus the ongoing profits can be spent without jeopardizing the ranch. This money is going for Jess' treatment and recovery. Please, Slim, let me contribute financially."

"But..."

"Mathew Sherman, are we – you, me and Nathan – family?"

"How can you ask that? Of course we are."

"Well, then, is Jess family or not?"

"You already know the answer to that!"

"Good…Because I _choose_ to spend this money on our family. I choose to spend it on Jess."

"He's not going to like it." Slim said as he started to cave in to my argument.

"He doesn't have to know."

"Ha! He'll know. He'll find out one way or another." He said laughingly. "And when he does, I'm gonna leave you to deal with him all by yourself." Slim smirked, imagining just how _THAT_ conversation would go.

I playfully backhanded his arm. He caught my wrist gently and drew me to him, wrapping his arms around me. I reached up, clasping my hands together at the back of his neck.

He leaned in for a kiss.

"Is that a yes?" I asked, our lips touching.

"Yes." He said as he kissed me.

The next morning a bank courier delivered an envelope to Dr. Hanson's office. Inside was a note signed by the bank president. It explained that an anonymous donor had set up an account on behalf of Jess Harper. Dr. Hanson was directed to send all of Jess' medical bills to the bank for payment.

**CHAPTER TEN**

When asked about it later, Jess would describe regaining consciousness as swimming through the densest, darkest fog you could imagine; not knowing which way was up. No guide posts, no light, nothing to relate to - just a disembodied mind racing at break neck speed to an unseen destination.

He wasn't sure which sensation he felt first. He heard voices. They were unintelligible but he could hear someone talking. He could hear the birds singing. Someone was holding his bandaged hand; their thumb locked around his, his hand enclosed in a strong grip. He knew whose hand it was, and that knowledge alone was enough to keep him calm.

"Slim." Jess said through parched lips. It was little more than a hoarse whisper, but Slim heard it.

"I'm here, Jess."

"How long?" He still hadn't opened his eyes.

"Six weeks, pard. You had us worried." He saw Jess nod his understanding.

"Slim – it hurts." Jess cried out in a suddenly anguished voice, the pain evident as he turned his head away from Slim. He became agitated as nerve endings awakened, individually screaming their complaints. His body reacted on its own, arching in an attempt to escape. He rolled back and forth seeking relief. It came in the form of the shot Dr. Hanson gave him. A sigh came from Jess as he slipped back into drug-induced unconsciousness, his last words being: "You should a let me die."

Slim fought back a sob. It hurt him terribly to hear his partner say those words. He looked to Dr. Hanson for reassurance, only to find none. Unless Jess regained his will to live, there wasn't much they could do.

Jess' bouts of consciousness came more often and began to last longer. He became aware there was sunlight brightening the room. A warm breeze drifted through the open window. Slim and Dr. Hanson were at his bedside. Noting his awareness, Dr. Hanson explained he had been moved to a private home where a private nurse would care for him until he could go home to the ranch. Dr. Hanson introduced Doreen McConnell, his nurse/care giver.

Jess checked Doreen out through dispassionate, half closed eyes. She seemed okay; at least he didn't hate her. She was business-like but fairly soft spoken. Her words were kind and her touch gentle. She was pleasant to look at, her oval face framed in sun streaked brown hair tied back with a ribbon. She wore an apron over a gingham cotton dress which flattered her figure.

Jess could care less about the goings on around him. In his mind, he was an invalid, a cripple, a useless waste of human flesh. His arms were strapped across his chest so as to not aggravate his formerly dislocated shoulders. By some miracle, he'd cheated death – but for what purpose? He had the vague memory of a dream he'd experienced – at least he thought it was a dream. He dreamt he had died but been sent back to protect his family. Daisy had been in his dream. She had been his guide through a fantasyland where he saw both his past and the present – and his possible future.

She had warned him of how long and hard his recovery would be. How he would experience more pain than ever before; how he'd be angry and lash out at others. But she had also promised there would be many good things in his future.

His muscles were so damaged he couldn't even move enough to make himself comfortable. He couldn't talk or communicate. He was helpless, dependent upon others. Except for Slim, he acknowledged no one, spoke to no one, and ignored everyone

Mort stopped by several times to check up on Jess' progress; often staying by his bedside even though Jess was asleep. He couldn't forget seeing Jess's seemingly lifeless body lying in Slim's arms. Mort had seen too many men pushed beyond their mental and physical endurance. He was afraid this had happened to Jess. From his own observation during Jess' rescue, plus what little information Dr. Hanson was able to reveal, Mort had pieced together a fairly accurate picture of what Jess had endured during his kidnapping. Jess' condition bore witness to how brutal the experience had been. It worried him that Jess seemed detached from everyone and everything. He showed no emotion at all. He rarely even made eye contact with anyone; never acknowledged anyone visiting him. It was as if Jess had crawled into some sort of protective shell; one which no one could penetrate, where no one could hurt him again. Only time would tell whether the Jess who recovered was the same man he knew.

Even the day Dr. Hanson removed all of Jess' bandages, he seemed ambivalent to the world around him. He watched silently as Dr. Hanson removed the bandages from his wrists and hands. Although the doctor was very pleased at how well he had healed, Jess was disappointed when he viewed his scarred wrists. It was bad enough he'd had some scars from his time in prison, but the cuff the Grangers had used marked a wide swath across his wrists. It looked like he would always carry a visible reminder of what they had done to him. His hands bore no scars; they were just stiff from being bandaged and immobile for so long. Exercise would take care of them.

As he flexed his fingers, he once again heard the words from his dream. Now the words Daisy had spoken to him echoed in his mind – _his hands would heal but he needed to be patient_. Then another memory made itself known – _he would be angry and lash out; would hurt the ones he loved_. He closed his eyes, willing the voice into silence.

Although Dr. Hanson knew it would be painful when he manipulated Jess' now freed arms, Jess was stoic; giving no indication one way or the other. Only the droplets of sweat, which broke out on Jess' brow, gave the doctor an indication that he was, indeed, experiencing pain.

_**CHAPTER ELEVEN**_

One morning Jess awoke with the feeling he was being watched. He turned his head on the pillow to look directly into a pair of hazel eyes. She was about 7 or 8 years old, sitting cross-legged on a low stool. She had brown hair braided into pigtails and wore a dress with a pinafore over it. She clutched a rag doll in her arms.

"Momma says bad men hurt you." She said in the straightforward way of a child.

Jess just eyed his tiny visitor; intrigued by her directness.

"I'm sorry you got hurt. Mamma says you're not supposed to talk, and I'm not supposed to bother you."

Jess couldn't help but smile at her childish honesty. She pointed to the scar encircling his neck.

"Is that why you can't talk? Momma says they hurt you a lot."

When he didn't answer, she continued.

"Do you hurt? Momma says I'm supposed to get her when you wake up."

He didn't respond.

"Momma says you'll be all better. Just takes time."

He turned his head back to look up at the ceiling but watched her from the corner of his eye.

Before the child could say anything else, Doreen called out "Katherine Mae McConnell, if you know what's good for you, you'd best not be bothering Mr. Harper."

Katherine's eyes got big "Oh, oh!" She exclaimed. Dashing to the door, she flung herself against the wall, unseen as Doreen swept into the room. As soon as Doreen was far enough into the room, Katherine slipped out the door.

"Is Katherine in here bothering you?"

Jess shook his head 'no'. He smiled to himself when he heard a giggle from out in the hallway.

"Hello Jess. I don't know if you remember being introduced to me. I'm Doreen McConnell, your private nurse. How's your pain level?" Do you need anything for it?"

Jess turned his head away. He hated being drugged. He'd fight his own way back through the pain. At least that was his intention until it suddenly swept over him, threatening to take him back into the black nothingness of unconsciousness. But at the moment he was okay and shook his head no.

From that day forward, Katie, as she had introduced herself, became his near constant companion. She informed him she had been his guardian while he slept. She had assigned herself the job of watching over him while he was in the coma; reporting any changes in his breathing or any agitation which might require medical attention. Surprisingly, it would be Katie who knew when he was about to hit his pain limit and would summon Doreen to administer the medication. It didn't seem to bother her to have seen him swathed in bandages. Other than the time she had asked about his neck, she never asked about his numerous scars, accepting them as she accepted him.

Some days she sat on the couch in the room and read silently from her books. Other days she would read aloud to him. She chatted companionably when Jess felt like it and other times contented herself to merely be in the room while he slept. She seemed to know when he wanted company and conversation and when he'd rather be alone.

He liked her company and looked forward to her visits. The bond between them grew and Katie began calling him Jess instead of Mr. Harper. Neither one of them noticed when it happened because it seemed so natural to them both.

To pass the time, they told each other stories; some made up, some true. She told of the books she had read and about dragons, knights, and princesses, of her daddy and how she missed him and of how she and her mother had come to live in Laramie. It pleased her when he listened.

Unable to talk, and with limited use of his arms, Jess and Katie developed their own method of communicating. Using hand signals, he told stories about people he had met on the trail and life on the ranch. Katie watched his hands pantomiming actions which she would interpret aloud. She became adept at reading his meanings and understanding his stories. It helped to pass the time of day for both of them. She'd never visited a real ranch and asked if one day he would take her to see his. He readily agreed to her request but reminded her he had a long way to go before he recovered and that would delay her visit. She accepted this, content to have extracted a promise from the quiet man who fascinated her.

Every so often Doreen would stick her head in the doorway and check to be sure Katie wasn't bothering or tiring Jess. As long as Katie behaved herself, she could keep him company.

_**CHAPTER TWELVE**_

Dr. Hanson slid a chair up to Jess' bedside. Treating Jess was a challenge like he'd never encountered before. Except for Slim and Katie, Jess rarely responded to anyone; his eyes locked on some distant location only he could see. "Jess, I want you to listen to me." He waited for the flicker of recognition in Jess' eyes; the only response he'd been able to detect indicated Jess was listening to him. "It's time to start some therapy. You're losing too much muscle tone. I'm going to teach Doreen a series of exercises to rebuild your muscles. It's going to hurt and you're going to wish we'd leave you alone. But without these exercises, you won't get your full range of movement back. We've got to get you back on your feet so you can go home."

Jess turned to look at Dr. Hanson. "Home?" he croaked out

"Yes, Jess – but with a lot of restrictions. You can't use a wheel chair out at the ranch – you need to be able to get around. You'll be using crutches for quite a while – and you can't use them until we build up your upper body again. So – are you willing to try?" Jess nodded his head slowly, his only acknowledgement he understood what Dr. Hanson had told him.

"There's something else – a new technique – something not used out here too often, but something that will benefit your healing. It's called massage. You'll need it – especially after we get you started on the physical therapy. It'll help ease the muscle pain as well as increase the blood flow which aids healing." He almost laughed when Jess' one eyebrow arched, clearly indicating he was skeptical about something he'd never heard of.

His physical therapy started the next day. His right leg was the only part of his body he could move freely on his own. Dr. Hanson went through a series of manipulating his arms, shoulders, and both legs. Jess wanted to scream at the pain, especially when his damaged shoulders were moved. He wanted to crawl out of his body to escape the nerve endings letting themselves be known. This was worse than the torture the Granger's had inflicted upon him. Daisy's words haunted him – _The pain of recovering would be worse than what he'd been through_. Well, she certainly got that right. Jess was soaked in sweat when Dr. Hanson announced their session was finished.

Doreen swept into the room carrying a steaming pot of water, which she poured into the washbasin. "Let's see if we can make you feel a little better." She said cheerfully. She helped him turn onto his stomach before laying cloths soaked in the heated water across his back and shoulders. The relief was only temporary as the cloths cooled quickly. Doreen told him she was going to start his massage. He flinched when she touched him. As she worked, his shoulder and back muscles tightened and knotted. There was nothing relaxing about her touch. The pain reached a crescendo he could no longer tolerate, and he demanded she stop. She started to argue with him before giving up. She helped turn onto his back before leaving the room. Jess felt badly as he struggled to work through the pain.

As night fell, Jess tried and failed to fall asleep. Dr. Hanson had given him another shot to ease the pain. The medication had only dulled his senses, not alleviated the pain. The day's exercises had challenged his muscles and they just wouldn't settle down, constantly reminding him how crippled he was. It was dark when he heard her come into the room. She didn't turn the lamp up, coming to his bedside with ease. He felt something was different, but he was too far out of it to comprehend what. He knew her hand would touch his shoulder before she actually did it and he didn't recoil from her. She spoke in velvety tones meant only for him.

"Jess, you need what the doctor ordered, the massage." She felt him tense, his facial features reflecting his displeasure at the suggestion. After the events of this afternoon, she'd expected no less. "Trust me, Jess." She cooed. Her voice reached him when no other could; its silky smoothness promising him he could trust her with his body. "Trust that I will take away the pain. It may not feel true at first, but if you allow me to continue, you will feel much better when I have finished." She waited a moment, letting her words sink in. "You know me, Jess. You know my voice and my touch. Allow me to do this for you. I know you fear the touch you cannot see; others have badly hurt you. I will not touch you unless you give me permission. Please, Jess, let me take the pain away." There was a small nod of his head. Right now, he'd do anything to stop the screaming muscles. "This is good. Can you roll over onto your stomach?"

He was awkward but managed to turn over as she asked. Then he waited. She hadn't been able to get very far with the massage earlier, he didn't know what to expect.

"You need not fear my touch. I will not hurt you."Her voice was like a caress on his jangled nerves. There was a moment before she spoke again. "I am going to start with your right shoulder. May I begin?" She was rewarded with another short nod. He didn't hear the relieved sigh she gave. "Alright, I'm going to touch your shoulder now." As she said it, she touched the palm of her hand to his shoulder, pleased when he didn't pull away. As she worked the muscles there, she explained everything she was doing and why she was doing it. The warm oil she used seemed to draw out the soreness. Her fingers worked magic on his healing body as he slowly relaxed under the gentle rubbing and manipulation until the stiffness was nearly gone. She worked her way down his arm, including his wrist and hand before working across his back. The sound of her voice was mesmerizing, and he found himself willingly surrendering to her touch. He tensed momentarily when she touched the back of his neck. "Shush," she soothed, "I will not hurt you. Your scars are of no consequence. I have seen them. They do not define who you are, only what has happened to you." She felt him relax again as she massaged his neck then continued across the rest of his back and down the other arm. Before she was finished, Jess was snoring. She smiled. She had accomplished her goal of temporarily relieving his pain. He would sleep well tonight.

As Jess' recovery progressed, the nightmares came back. He'd toss restlessly, struggling against unseen bonds, his facial features reacting to whatever torture he was reliving. He'd awake feeling like he was strangling again. Dr. Hanson had learned quickly not to touch Jess when he was in the throes of one of those dreams. Not even Slim, whom Dr. Hanson had called in, was able to wake Jess from these new nightmares. Finally, Dr. Hanson took to sedating Jess in hope it would stop the nightmares and thus the thrashing, which damaged his recovering joints.

Even in his drugged sleep, the nightmares found him. A strangled cry would escape him as his torture played repeatedly in his mind. One night there was a voice beside him; a voice which shushed him with its airy softness, spoke to him in melodic tones. The voice calmed him, and he slept.

On other nights when he lay in bed, restlessness causing an uneasy sleep, the voice came back to him. A gentle hand wiped his brow with cool water; stroked his hair soothingly. Somehow, he was never surprised by her touch, never recoiled from it, intuitively knowing when she was near. She often stayed by his bedside, humming a toneless tune. She'd tell stories. He'd listen to the velvety voice and grow quiet. As with the other times, her presence calmed him, and he would eventually slip into a deep and undisturbed sleep.

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It didn't take long for the exercises to show results. He was beginning to be able to move both legs on his own, but Dr. Hanson still had not allowed him out of bed. The biggest difference had been the benefit to Jess' upper body strength. The gauntness was beginning to fill out. He could now adjust his pillows and sit up without help. Doreen had continued his strengthening exercises and massages. Jess knew something was different about the massages but couldn't put his finger on it. Doreen was the only nurse he had.

Jess felt good about his progress. It meant he was closer to going home. He could almost smell the open air, dirt road, the horses and cows – and Beth's cooking. Oh, how he longed for her cooking.

As he dreamt about Beth's cooking, it brought back a fond memory from the early days of Slim's courtship with her_. Beth had been taking cooking lessons from Daisy. The kitchen smells were enticing, and Jess had ventured inside, hoping to swipe a sample of whatever was cooking. He figured by now Beth was on to him being the culprit behind the various missing cookies and even a pie. He justified his actions by sharing his stolen bounty with whichever ranch hands were working close by. _

_However, he was not prepared for the cookie dough laden wooden spoon which smacked his hand as he reached for the most recent batch of fresh cookies, nor hearing Beth yell at him. "Jess Harper, when are you going to learn to leave my cooking alone?" He jerked his hand back, bringing it to his mouth, his eyes dark as he sucked the dough from his hand. Beth, who at that time was still scared of him and his gunfighter reputation, was staring at him horrified by her instinctive reaction; her own hand covering her mouth as her face turned bright red in embarrassment_

_She was shocked when Jess started to chuckle and then let out a full laugh, his eyes twinkling in merriment. Still laughing, he placed his hands on her shoulders, kissed her on the cheek and headed for the door, scooping up a handful of the cookies as he went. Beth was still standing there aghast at her reaction, when Slim entered. Jess stopped long enough to clap Slim on the shoulder and say. "She'll do, partner, she'll do just fine." He lifted his hand full of cookies in mock salute and left both Slim and Beth standing bewildered in the kitchen, looking after him_.

Therefore, it was especially delightful when Beth arrived carrying a basket of freshly baked cookies. He snatched one up and took a huge bite before anyone could stop him. He strongly suspected Dr. Hanson or Doreen would take the sweet goodies away from him, declaring they were bad for his recovering body. Jess could have hugged Beth to pieces for bringing him this treat from home.

He lay back, propped up by the pillows, eyes closed as he allowed the cookie to melt in his mouth, savoring every morsel. He sighed contentedly as he finished off the rest of the cookie. They were both startled at the sound of him sighing – it was the first noise Jess had made in over a month. They stared at each other, overjoyed at the tiny miracle. Jess started to say something, but Beth shushed him immediately. "Oh, no you don't. You're not talking until you've got the Doc's say so!"

Beth stood to take her leave. "Oh, by the way," she said, turning when she reached the door, "Slim will be over later today. You'd better hide that basket if you want to keep those cookies. I didn't leave any for him!"

Beth paused outside the door, relishing having heard the tiny sound from the man she loved as a brother. It seemed like it was only yesterday they feared never seeing his face or hearing his voice again. Jess would be coming home soon – she was sure of it.

**Beth brings Nathan for visits**

Beth knocked tentatively on the open door. Jess' face lit up when he spotted her and the squirming child she held on her hip. She came closer, allowing the somewhat shy Nathan to grow accustomed to this new person in his life. However, once introduced to Jess, Nathan was fascinated by the silent, dark-haired man.

Beth brought Nathan to visit as often as she could. It wasn't long before he was holding his arms out to be held by his Uncle Jess. Nathan seemed intrigued by Jess' dark hair and sometimes scruffy beard stubble. It was unlike his daddy's blonde hair and he liked rubbing his tiny hands along Jess's face, often times patting it experimentally

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The day finally came when Mort visited Jess in his official capacity. Jess could feel the difference in the atmosphere as soon as Mort walked in. Mort shifted uncomfortably under Jess' silent scrutiny before coming to the point. "Jess, boy, we got us a problem." He began. "We know one of the fellows we found out to the farm was the one who held up the Laramie bank. He had your clothes on – and boy did he look like you. Plus, he was riding Traveler. I'd almost sworn it was you. But Slim knew it wasn't and shot him. He died from Slim's bullet." Here Mort paused. "Son, you're still in a heap o' trouble." He was shocked when Jess reacted. "Oh, I know, I know." He said, trying to calm the agitated Jess. "Son, I know it wasn't you doing all that, but I gotta find a way to prove it. I got the Judge to revoke the "on sight" warrant but you're still a wanted man." He reached to pat Jess' shoulder reassuringly only to have Jess flinch. "We'll get through this – together."

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Later in the day, Slim and Dr. Hanson strode into the room. Jess had a moment's pause when Dr. Hanson closed the door behind him. He frowned, thinking the doctor was bringing him more bad news. Mort's information had been depressing enough. He didn't think he could take any more disappointment in one day. Dr. Hanson and Slim were grinning. "How'd you like to try out your sea legs?"

If he had been physically able, Jess would have jumped for joy. Instead, he motioned eagerly for them to get started. Dr. Hanson helped him slide his legs over the side of the bed. Then Slim and Dr. Hanson took up positions on either side of him. Together, they took his weight and helped him to stand up, supporting him as he wobbled and then steadied. His right leg held steady, but his left leg refused to take any weight. He sat, then lay back down the on the bed so Dr. Hanson could examine the leg and nearly healed wound.

Seeing Jess' disappointment, Dr. Hanson spoke. "This was to be expected. You've been bed ridden for almost eight weeks – and who knows how long before that you were too weak to stand?

Dr. Hanson could tell Jess had been disappointed in his first attempt at standing. Jess still had his arm over his eyes, his head turned away from them. His jovial attitude from earlier in the day had disappeared. Dr. Hanson fleetingly worried about Jess sinking into depression.

"What I want to do," Dr. Hanson began "is get you putting weight on your legs and feet. The exercises I'll show Slim will help build your muscles so you can do that. You may have to use crutches to start out with - maybe only a cane. You'll be using the cane for quite a while. Your body will know when you can give it up. You'll have a limp for a while – maybe permanently. That's just something that only time will tell. But, once you can walk the length of the hallway without Slim's help, you can go home." He waited, wondering if Jess was even listening. It took a moment for the words to sink in. Jess dropped his arm and turned back towards Slim and Dr. Hanson, hope written in his eyes.

"Home?" It appeared that was all Jess had heard.

"Yes Jess, as soon as you can walk the length of the hall without Slim's help you can go home. But with restrictions – and I do mean with restrictions. No riding. No driving. No lifting. I'll stop out once a week to check your progress. Then we'll go from there. . . But if you re-injure yourself in any way – you will be right back here. You understand?"

Jess nodded his understanding.

Shaking his head and laughing, Dr. Hanson answered "Okay. Let's try this shall we?"

After the doctor had shown Slim the exercises, he asked if there were any more questions.

Jess grabbed the pant leg of his pajamas and wiggled it back and forth. Slim laughed and answered his unspoken question. "Don't worry pard, I'll bring ya some clothes when I come back tomorrow."

When Slim returned the next day, he brought the promised clothes. Jess brushed away Slim's offer to help, preferring to dress himself, although his stiff hands had some difficulty with the buttons on his shirt. Exhausted, Jess lay back down on the bed, feeling slightly defeated. He didn't know how he could possibly stand and walk when just getting dressed took all the energy he had.

Slim knew better than to leave Jess to his own devices. He knew that as soon as Jess got his second wind, he would push himself to his body's limits. Jess was on a mission. He was firmly set on obtaining his goal – going home.

Slim helped Jess through the required exercises, reining Jess back when he tried to overdo things. Dr. Hanson had warned Slim about over taxing Jess' chest and shoulder muscles as well as his leg muscles. He finally was able to settle Jess back into bed. He debated what to do with the crutches the doctor had supplied. He knew full well that if Jess could reach the crutches, he'd be attempting to walk the length of the hall; possibly re-injuring himself in the process. Feeling smug, Slim solved his dilemma by taking the crutches with him when he left.

_**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**_

The next few days were repeats of the previous days. Slim would come in during the morning to help with Jess' leg exercises and attempts to walk. Jess would push the sessions as far as he could before Slim called a halt to things. Slim always took care to remove the crutches from Jess' room when he left. Katie still came in during the afternoons and read or told stories to Jess. The day finally arrived when Jess walked the hallway on crutches without Slim's assistance. He demanded Dr. Hanson come witness his accomplishment. He wanted to go home – and he wanted to go home now.

True to his word, Dr. Hanson agreed to Jess' moving back to the ranch. He was elated and hurriedly agreed to the doctor's instructions. He would be virtually confined to the ranch. As he had been previously informed, he would not be allowed to ride, drive a buggy (he could ride in one), lift hay bales, grain sacks, or anything else over 20 pounds. He could hold Nathan but was not allowed to pick him up – yet. He wasn't allowed to change the relay teams or even lead the horses lest they spook and injure him. He could do anything else his body and energy allowed him to do – brush the horses, take walks, use tools, etc. It seemed the list of what he was allowed to do was shorter than the list of what he was not allowed to do. He would have agreed to almost anything if it allowed him to be back out at the ranch.

_**Jess goes home**_

Jess balanced on his crutches as Slim packed his few belongings into a carpet bag. When Slim turned around, his gaze followed Jess' to Jess' stocking footed feet. Since they had exercised indoors, they had not bothered to put Jess' boots on. Now Jess needed footwear. Slim produced a pair of moccasins; they had been a Christmas gift from Daisy before she passed away. When Jess raised his eyebrows questioningly, Slim said the moccasins would be easier for him to put on and take off than boots. Jess pointed at his feet and mouthed the word 'boots" not understanding why Slim was evasive and obviously uncomfortable.

"You don't need them." Slim tried to get around the question.

"BOOTS!" Jess insisted, using as few words as possible.

"Jess, I'm serious, you don't need them." Slim argued. "Besides, I tried to get them fixed, but they're ruined. I'm tellin' ya – you don't want them."

"SLIM – BOOTS!" He rasped out.

Two pairs of blue eyes battled wordlessly. "No." was Slim's final word on the subject as he snatched the bag and headed for the door. In spite of the crutches, Jess was faster and jerked the bag out of Slim's hand, nearly upsetting himself in the process. Jess pulled the boots from the bag and froze.

He took one look at them before violently throwing them across the room. He exited without looking back. His favorite boots, now thrown in a heap, bore a distinct indentation gouged around the ankles. Multiple scrapes and scratches surrounding the scored leather served silent witness to his time spent shackled. It was a reminder he didn't care to have. Slim shook his head sadly. He should have just gone ahead and thrown the boots away when he had the chance, but it was too late now.

Jess sat down on the settee, raking a hand through his hair, wishing he could just bolt out the door. He waited for Slim, knowing he couldn't step up into the buggy on his own. His excitement at going home was dampened by his limited physical capabilities.

Katie slid onto the settee beside him. She wrapped her arms around his arm. "You have to leave now?" she asked.

He nodded. It broke his heart to see her sad face. He lifted her chin, so she looked at him. "You come ranch." He croaked.

She brightened at that. "You won't forget, will you?"

He shook his head no, wishing he could talk more and explain he just needed a little more time to heal. "I know" she had responded. "You need to heal, Momma said so. But I'll be waiting for you to come and get me!" She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek before scooting off to another part of the house.

"Whoa, Hotshot." Slim exclaimed. "She's a little young for you, isn't she?" he teased. "I don't know how you do it. You have them falling all over you – even the young ones! C'mon, let's go home."

_**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**_

_**Arrested**_

Mort was standing by the buggy when Slim and Jess emerged. Jess' smile at seeing his friend faded when he saw the serious look upon Mort's face.

"I'm sorry, Jess. I can't let you go home – no matter what Doc says. There are still warrants out on you and I don't want any bounty hunter cashing in on that 'dead or alive' part of the reward." He shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, son, but I have to take you in."

Slim pulled himself up to his full height and stepped between Mort and Jess. "You're not taking him to jail." Slim said with finality.

Mort looked at them both with his wizened tolerate no brooking, look. "It's the law, Slim. I got no choice. Friend or no friend – I represent the law – and you know it." He reached for Jess' arm only to have Slim's hand stop him. It was followed immediately by Jess' hand on Slim's pulling him away from Mort.

"'tis alright, Slim." He ground out in his still healing voice. "Ya know Mort's just doing his job. I ain't gotta like it, but he's only doing what he's gotta do." Balancing on his crutches, head down, he held out his hands, wrists close together, for Mort to cuff him.

Mort looked at him askance. "What do you take me for, boy? I'm not heartless; just amble your sorry ass over to the jail."

Jess nodded. "Say goodbye ta Slim?" Mort nodded and stepped a distance away, allowing the two some privacy.

Mort walked slowly, allowing Jess to take his time crossing the street and entering his office. Jess hobbled into the cell furthest from the interconnecting door. He didn't want to be seen by anyone who might come into the office. He didn't turn around when Mort closed the door and turned the key. It was all he could do to keep himself together. He wished he could forget the feel of those metal cuffs around his wrists and the rope around his neck. Hearing the metal on metal brought back a vivid memory of the chains the Grangers had used to restrain him. His body trembled at the memory.

"Jess," came Mort' kind voice. "Can I get you anything? Do you need anything?"

Jess dipped his head, shaking it sadly. "Just leave me be, Mort. Just leave me be."

"I'm sorry, son" Mort said. "I had no choice but to lock you up. Don't even have a choice about turning the key. It ain't like when the Parson is in here for disturbing the peace. You're wanted for some serious crimes. The Judge would have my head for not following procedure."

"I know, Mort. Don't mean I gotta like it."

"I'll just be in the office if you need anything. I sent a telegram to Judge Brooker asking him to set bail for you. I'm waiting for a reply."

The reply came quickly but didn't contain the news Mort wanted. Judge Brooker would be in Laramie in two weeks. The Judge had denied bail for Jess. He would be detained until the Judge arrived for his trial. The news didn't set well with either Mort or Jess. Jess didn't like being locked up – even if it was in Mort's jail. Mort didn't like having to hold and treat his friend as a prisoner. He sincerely hoped this would not hurt their friendship. However, it was no secret the law always came first with Mort, and the loss of Jess' and possibly Slim's friendship, was the price he might have to pay.

Mort looked up from his desk to see an angry Dr. Hanson standing before him. He listened patiently through the Doctor's tirade about Jess being in jail and how it would affect his recovery. As the Doctor finally wound up his speech, Mort agreed to let someone come in every day to oversee Jess' exercises. Only slightly mollified, the Doctor agreed to the terms and left.

The next morning, Doreen arrived to help Jess. Jess was allowed out of his cell, using his crutches to "walk" circles around Mort's office for short periods at a time. This exercise routine continued until the day of Jess' trial. In the meantime, Jess began to look forward to seeing Doreen. Her presence was the bright spot in his dreary day. For the time she was allowed to be with him, helping him, he was free. Even though he was now contained by the outer walls of Mort's office, it was tolerably better than the cell. He was able to get around better in the larger area. Mort waited outside, giving Jess both privacy for his exercise and time with Doreen. It wasn't long before he had realized the exercise sessions were taking more and more time. He strongly suspected there was more going on than just the exercises. He's seen them jump apart, a slight flush to both their faces, a couple times when he'd re-entered the office. He just grinned and pulled his hat down over his forehead while leaning back against the outer jail wall. He figured it was about time that boy found someone to care about – and to care about him. He always made some noise when re-entering his office – just in case.

_**The trial**_

Jess sat at the Defendant's table with his lawyer. He had been surprised when Mort apologetically handcuffed him to a ring installed in the table. Due to the violent nature and number of charges against him, the Judge had ordered the precaution. It galled Jess being treated like a dangerous criminal – especially knowing he was innocent of everything he'd been charged with.

He listened as person after person testified to seeing him commit a variety of crimes, including murder. As witness after witness testified, he felt his heart sink. He was going to be convicted of those crimes and most likely hanged. He fought back the panic of feeling a rope around his neck again. His only solace was this time his neck would snap, and it would all be over quickly. Therefore, he held no hope and barely listened when Elitha Sommers was called to the stand.

Elitha was an exotic beauty who drew everyone's attention as she proceeded to the witness box. Her raven hair was piled high in the most current fashion; her makeup accentuating her alabaster skin and features. She wore a fitted deep green skirt that swished suggestively as she walked. Her matching jacket, impeccably cut, left nothing to the imagination yet revealed nothing. Everyone's eyes feasted on her, waiting to hear her speak. After Elitha was sworn in, the Prosecutor began his questioning.

"Miss Sommers," he began. "Were you in attendance in Riverdale when there was an altercation resulting in the death of one Cletus Morganson?"

Elitha fluttered her eyelashes before answering in a soft but distinct southern drawl. "Why, yes, sir, I sure was."

"And tell me, did you clearly see the person involved in that altercation with Mr. Morganson?"

"Yes, sir, I sure did."

"Is that person here in this courtroom? If he is, would you please point him or her out to this Court?"

Elitha looked at Jess before nodding in his directions. "That looks like him right there at that table."

Jess felt queasy and hung his head in despair. He knew this was the final nail in his coffin. Mort gave him a sideways look, prepared to stop him from trying to escape. He felt Slim's hand on his shoulder, calming him. Then he silently chuckled. Catching Mort's eye, he held up his fettered hands, a wry look upon his face. He wouldn't have been able to go anywhere – he was chained to the table.

Gloating, the Prosecutor almost shouted. "The witness has identified the accused, Jess Harper." There was immediate whispering among those in attendance. It caused the Judge to bang his gavel and call for silence in the courtroom.

"No, sir." Came her soft reply once the court room had quieted once again.

"What do you mean?" The Prosecutor asked, confused. "You clearly just identified the defendant in this case."

"No, sir." Came her southern drawl again. "I said it looked like him. But it ain't him."

"What!"

"You see, I got introduced to a man calling himself Jess Harper. We got close." She looked at the Prosecutor, her body leaning forward, her lips pouty as she continued. "Real close, if you get my meaning." She winked before straightening up in her chair. The courtroom twittered, causing the judge to pound the gavel for silence again. "He liked to drink. He liked to drink a lot. And when he drank, he talked – a lot. One night while we were drinking and ah, enjoying each other's company, he told me things. Told me about the things he had done to destroy another man's reputation– a man he and his brother had kidnapped and was holding captive."

"Yes, the very things Jess Harper is accused of." Stated the Prosecutor.

Elitha nodded in agreement. "Yes, sir - The very things that man sitting there is accused of. Only that ain't him."

"How do you know?"

"Because, for one thing, the man I was with told me his real name was Howard Granger. For another, his hair is too dark. The man I was with had much lighter colored hair."

"You're basing your identification on his hair?"

"No sir. The Jess Harper or Howard Granger I was with had a scar the full length of his right forearm. If that man sitting there has a scar, then he's colored his hair. But if he doesn't have a scar, he isn't the man I was with and didn't do the things Jess Harper was accused of. Name might be the same, but it ain't the same man."

The courtroom erupted once again. The judge banged his gavel repeatedly until the courtroom became orderly again.

"Sheriff Cory" the judge began. "Will you please bring the defendant to stand before the bench and request he bare his right arm?" The judge said something to his Bailiff, who immediately drew his gun and trained it on Jess. Then, looking directly at Jess, Judge Brooker said. "I understand you require the use of crutches, so you'll be freed of your handcuffs temporarily. But if it is a ruse and you make any attempt to escape, you will be shot down before you take your first step. Is that clear?" Jess nodded his understanding.

Mort released Jess from the handcuffs. After handing him his crutches, they both approached the bench. Jess' lawyer hovered protectively as the Prosecutor joined them. Jess held out his right arm, allowing Mort to roll his sleeve up to his elbow. Just so there could be no mistake, Mort also rolled Jess' left sleeve up to the elbow. The judge nodded his approval before requesting Jess turn to face the jury and then the Courtroom, showing everyone that he carried no scar down either of his forearms.

Once the courtroom settled down for the third time, the Judge had Mort take Jess back to the Defense table while he dismissed Elitha from the witness chair. Jess frowned when Mort snapped the cuffs back into place. "Bailiff's a little trigger happy. You're safer this way." Mort had whispered. Unconsciously tugging against the restrains, Jess just looked away. He wanted this over with.

Jess' attorney presented the coroner's report, clearing stating that Howard Granger bore a scare the full length of his forearm. The Courtroom became restless as the Judge spoke at length to Jess' lawyer and the Prosecutor. The Prosecutor returned to his table with a hang dog face. Upon prompting from the Judge, he declared a motion to dismiss all charges against Jess Harper and that all wanted posters for all crimes committed within the specified time period be cancelled.

The Judge banged his gavel for order until the Courtroom quieted once again. He ordered Jess to stand and face the bench. With his hands cuffed to the table, Jess was unable to stand on his own. Mort supported him, not bothering with the crutches.

"Mr. Harper." He began gravely. "There has been a serious miscarriage of justice here today. It seems that we have had one overzealous County Prosecutor. Had he done his due diligence, he would have discovered this witness's testimony exonerating you, instead of condemning you, before this ever came to trial; let alone resulting in your incarceration for a period of two weeks while waiting for said trial. The time frame in which you were missing, the injuries upon your person, and much more, clearly point to you as being the victim in all this, not the perpetrator. All charges against you are hereby dropped. All wanted posters for you will be recalled immediately. You are free to go."

Jess slumped into his chair as many by standers clapped him on the back and congratulated him. Mort was grinning ear to ear as he removed the cuffs. He looked up to see Slim beside him. "Let's go home." was all he said before helping Jess to his feet and out to the waiting wagon. Before Slim could help him into the wagon, Doreen was at his side. Careful to not upset his balance, she put her arms around his waist, her hands caressing his back. Reaching up to kiss his lips, she was oblivious to anyone standing nearby. Slim and Mort hid their smiles while turning away. The public display of affection was a little over zealous for their comfort, but neither would do anything to deny Jess a moment of happiness. After Slim had helped Jess into the wagon, Doreen stood close by, holding Jess's hand, smiling up adoringly at him. When Slim slapped the horses into movement, she reluctantly let go but blew Jess a kiss, promising to come see him in a few days.

_**Home at last**_

Jess had to admit the trial and then the ride to the ranch tired him out. Beth and Nathan greeted them as they pulled up in front of the porch. Nathan immediately reached out for his daddy and then wanted to be held by his Uncle Jess. Slim laughingly removed the child who was cheerfully patting Jess' face and handed him back to Beth. "Let's get Uncle Jess inside while he's still got some energy. You two can play together later."

With Slim's help and the use of his crutches, Jess eased out of the buggy and made his way across the porch. Slim barely avoided crashing into him when he stopped just inside the door. Jess looked around, drinking in every aspect of the house – the worn dining room table, the fainting couch under the window and the three chairs surrounding the fireplace. His rocking chair was still there, waiting for him.

His chest hurt with the realization he hadn't set foot inside this room in over a year. He remembered his anguish as he lay dying, thinking he'd never see his home again. He desperately wanted to sit in the rocking chair – his chair. However, his strength was fading fast, and he knew he needed to head for his bedroom. His bedroom; the words echoed in his mind. It was still here, still his. A tear found its way down his cheek as he limped forward.

The door was standing ajar and the bedding already turned down in anticipation of his arrival. Slim and Beth had held onto everything which was his; had made sure his room was still there for him. Sure, he could have easily gone to his room in the bunkhouse, but they made it clear this was where he belonged - Here, with them.

Grateful, he lay down on the bed, the old familiar feel welcoming him. He hadn't intended to fall asleep right then, but he was out the moment his head touched the pillow. Slim laughed, removed Jess' boots and covered him with a blanket. "Welcome home, Pard, welcome home." He said. "Sleep as long as you like. Everything's going to be okay now."

Beth stood in the doorway, watching as Jess's facial features softened. For the first time since Jess had been found, she saw him totally relaxed, secure in his surroundings – and snoring. Jess was home.

Slim turned the lamp down so it cast a soft light in the room. Wrapping an arm around Beth, they both exited, closing the door behind them. Slim would check on Jess later, although he knew Beth would also check on him at regular intervals.

The smell of bacon frying filtered into Jess' room. His stomach growled as he slowly became awake. Disoriented, he looked around the room then relaxed when he recognized everything – he was home. Using his crutches to stand, he realized he was fully dressed; had fallen asleep instantly upon laying down. He felt better than he had in a long time.

Opening his door, a surprised Slim and Beth looked up from the table, greeting him warmly. Slim stood to come assist him but sat back down when Jess motioned he was fine. He sat in the chair Slim had pulled out for him. Beth immediately brought him a plate of food and some coffee.

Jess sipped the coffee, savoring the taste of it. "Doc - no coffee." Was all he said upon observing their puzzled looks. Both Slim and Beth nodded in understanding. The thought of Jess Harper without coffee was inconceivable.

Beth and Slim watched as Jess worked his way through his plate full of food. Watching Jess clear his plate, Beth couldn't help remembering the days when he'd only been able to ingest a tablespoon or two of food at a time; grateful the small, repeated feedings had saved his life.

_**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**_

_**Long road to recovery**_

Jess sat in the chair under the shade of the front porch, breathing in the fresh air. Although his window at the McConnell's had most often been open, it didn't compare to the open air of the ranch. Then, having spent two weeks in jail, the fresh air and freedom filled him with contentment. Every sight and sound reminded him he was home.

In typical Jess fashion, he had pushed himself beyond his capabilities, investigating all the changes which had occurred in his absence. Slim had found him, exhausted, leaning against the corral. Slim had helped him to the porch chair, ordering him to rest but knowing he was wasting his breath. Jess rubbed his palm across his sore chest muscles, trying to ease the ache from over exerting himself.

From his spot on the porch, he could see much of what had been built. The new barn and storage sheds gleamed with a fresh coat of paint. Phase one of his and Slim's growth plans had been completed. Slim promised to take him out to the pastures soon. There he would find new breeding stock – both cattle and horses; phase two of their growth plans. His eyes settled on a spot part way up the old stagecoach approach road; that is where they would initiate phase three – building Jess' house. Jess had chosen the location; he and Slim had designed the layout together. He found himself looking forward to building his own house, making it a home; and someday, filling it with his own family. Jess knew he was finally ready.

He couldn't recall how many times he had left during his early days at the ranch. How Slim had either come after him or welcomed him back. They had joked about putting down stakes; how deep they had been "planted" and how strongly the ground would hold them. They held him all right. It had taken everything within him to answer his sister's plea for help and move to California. But when she had remarried, he'd high tailed it for home. His stakes in Laramie were deep and he was ready to let them become permanent.

Jess was leaning on his crutches while standing at the corral, petting Traveler over the rail. He had been both surprised and delighted upon finding out his beloved horse had been brought back to the ranch. Slim walked up to stand beside him, pleased at the changes in Jess since he'd gotten home.

Jess leaned on the fence, reluctant to move away. He stared up over the ridge beyond the stage road. Slim waited, knowing Jess was working up to telling him something. Slim still didn't know everything about what happened while Jess had been the Granger's prisoner but what he did know sickened him. He couldn't forget holding Jess' lifeless body in his arms; hearing him cough as he came back to life.

"How'd you find me?"It was obvious how painful it was for him to say anything. If Jess had been a man of few words previously, he said even less now.

"Howard. Howard robbed the bank riding Trav. I knew it wasn't you and shot him. You know the rest."

"No." Jess said shaking his head. "Why go burning building?"

Slim didn't answer at first. Refusing to make eye contact he spoke. " . Seemed like the thing to do. I couldn't leave you to die like that."

"Slim." Jess said quietly and sincerely, a catch in his voice. "Why save?" It was Slim's turn to jerk his head up and look at his partner. Before answering, he dropped his eyes to look at the ground at his feet.

He turned away, arms crossed, leaning his back on the rails. He couldn't look at Jess right now. He was extremely uncomfortable with what he was about to reveal.

"I felt . . . no, that isn't quite right . . . something told me . . . no, that isn't it either. Someway . . . somehow I knew – just knew – I had to get you out of that building." He shook his head "Just like I knew I could do it. It was the strangest thing – knowing that if I got you out, you'd live." He paused, the memory unsettling to recall. "I thought I'd failed. You had no pulse, nothing. Then you coughed and started to breathe on your own."

"I died. " It was difficult to go on. He had never revealed anything this personal about himself to anyone. "Dream? Not dream? Don't know. Was dead. Saw things. "He stopped. He couldn't tell Slim he had seen and spoken to Daisy. "Saw things, people, couldn't possibly see. Not my time. Still had job to do."

There was an awkward silence between them as they each digested what had been said. Finally, Slim asked the question which had been bothering him since Jess had awoken from the coma.

"Jess, why did you say to let you die?"

"Nothing left inside me. In dream – told would hurt those I love. I chose to save you all from me. Sent back anyway."

"You okay?" Slim asked with concern.

"Will be. Just take time." Was all Jess said as he began to limp away, leaving his crutches behind, lying against the corral fence.

Slim watched him leave, remembering the unseen touch on his shoulder; hearing Jess asking forgiveness for not making it home. He shook the memory away and followed Jess into the house.

_**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**_

_**Jess starts seeing Doreen**_

Dr. Hanson visited a couple of days later. Jess was happy to see the passenger who accompanied him. He helped Doreen down from the buggy and hugged her. She immediately took his face in both her hands and kissed him on the lips. He returned the kiss enthusiastically. He hadn't been back to town since returning to the ranch and suddenly realized how much he had missed seeing her every day.

After he suffered through Dr. Hanson's examination, Jess and Doreen took a walk around the yard, her arm wrapped around his. They walked slowly, adjusting to Jess' recovering walk, slowed by his cane and pronounced limp. At his invitation, she began to visit frequently. As Jess improved, their walks became longer, her visits more prolonged and their discussions deeper.

Jess showed her the ranch expansion plans and pointed out the spot where they would soon be building his own house. She was attentive, genuinely interested in his plans for the future. It soon became obvious there was an attraction between Doreen and him. It wasn't long before Doreen dreamed of becoming Mrs. Jess Harper. She enjoyed seeing the ranch, excitedly anticipating when she would become half owner.

Yes, as Mrs. Jess Harper she would be in line to own half of the Sherman Harper Ranch. While Jess was an extremely attractive man – especially now that he was gaining back his weight and muscling – well she just didn't see a need to share her half of the ranch with him. Once his ring was on her finger, he would become dispensable.

During those early days of his recovery – when she had helped him exercise in Mort' office – that was when she first let him kiss her. It had been so easy to hook him. He was vulnerable; dependent upon her – and she took advantage of it. She purposely fanned the flames of a need within him he didn't even know he had. She made him want her, want to protect her, to be with her, to make her happy and to be his mate. She already had her hooks into him – it wouldn't take much before she had him reeled in.

_**Jess meets Brianna**_

Restless, Jess welcomed the opportunity to accompany Nathan and Beth into Laramie. Although it galled him to not be driving, he contented himself with being able to go into town, drink a beer and visit with Mort. He was impressed with how Beth's General Store was flourishing under Tom's management, allowing her to spend more time at the ranch. Jess lounged against the dry goods counter waiting as Tom loaded the wagon with Beth's order. He was still not allowed to carry much of anything so felt quite useless standing by and watching things get carried past him.

Jess heard the bell jangle as someone entered the store; his senses suddenly went on high alert. He didn't sense danger, just an awareness of someone his mind and body recognized. He smiled when Doreen, accompanied by another woman, came into view. Taking Doreen's hands in his, he kissed her on the cheek. With smoldering eyes, she looked up at him. Her gloved hand avoided the diminishing scar around his neck, now covered by his neckerchief, before trailing intimately down the front of his shirt, bringing it back up to rest at the "v" formed by his shirt's top button. Smiling knowingly at his reaction to her caress, she stepped back and introduced him to the woman beside her, Brianna McConnell, her sister-in-law. Jess took his hat off to show respect and held out a hand to shake hers. Mesmerized by the hazel eyes looking into his, he was vaguely aware of the lightning which surged through his body as their fingers touched. He told himself he only imagined the surge, his body didn't really know this woman with auburn hair, whom he couldn't take his eyes off of. He realized she was speaking to him. He shook himself back into the present, answering her questions about his health and recovery, his attention captured by the lilt in her voice.

Doreen had her hand tucked into the curve of his arm. He covered it with his free hand, lacing their fingers together. She walked with him to the ranch wagon, accepting another quick kiss on the cheek before he climbed aboard, and they drove off. She didn't hide her smile as she rejoined her sister-in-law in the store.

_**Beth writes**_

Doreen continued to be a frequent visitor. She was always very attentive to Jess. I worried Jess had fallen in love with Doreen because she had been his nurse and near constant companion for so long. Did he really love her? Or had the weeks of being in close proximately built up a false relationship? As to Doreen, she very much acted the part of a woman falling in love. That's what bothered me – I felt she was acting. When I mentioned it to Slim, he suggested I was just jealous Jess had found someone. Men! Why do they always think we get jealous over every other female? I would have been delighted if Jess found the right lady. I wanted my "brother" to be happy. I just couldn't accept Doreen was the right one. I must admit, it bothered me greatly.

Other than my gut feeling, I could find no fault with Doreen's actions. She was the perfect guest. She helped prepare dinner and clear away dishes. She doted on Jess; catered to his every whim and didn't seem to mind his limitations and ongoing use of the cane. I'd never seen Jess so happy and energized. It was a welcome change from when we were afraid he'd never see another dawn. I had to admit Doreen had played a big part in Jess' recovery.

It wasn't long before Doreen began to hint of an impending wedding. That was kind of surprising because Jess had not said anything to either Slim or I. Despite the hints, I was pretty sure Jess had not yet asked her. Something just didn't seem right.

_**JESS BUILDS HIS HOUSE**_

The day came when Jess approached Slim about building his own house. He wanted them to sit down together and figure out the costs involved. After a lot of pencil scratching and discussion, they agreed upon a rough figure it would take to build Jess' house. Jess frowned. It was considerably more than he had expected and knew it would take a while to save up enough to even buy the basics, let alone finish the interior and add furniture.

Slim excused himself for a few minutes. When he returned, he set a bankbook down in front of Jess. Confused, Jess looked from Slim to the bankbook and back again. At Slim's nod, Jess opened the book and was shocked at the amount written therein.

"Whose book is this?" Jess asked.

"Yours." Was Slim's simple answer.

Jess' confusion was obvious. "Where'd all this money come from? I already got my share of the ranch in the other account. Why is this mine? What's it from?"

"Now, that is something you'll have to tell me." Said Slim. "It seems there were some checks arriving every month from some law firm in Medicine Bow. Dang lawyers wouldn't tell us anything about them, but they kept right on coming up until a few weeks ago. This, by the way, coincides with your return home." He paused. "So, what is it Jess? Where did this money come from?"

Jess shook his head in surprise. "Slim, this money was for the ranch – to help keep it going. You wouldn't let me dissolve the partnership. This was the only way I could contribute. You were supposed to spend it on necessities – not save it for me."

"We did spend some of it – on Mike's schooling, when the barn burned and when some breeding stock came up for sale. But we didn't need it Jess. Beth and I decided you had earned this money outside of the ranch. This was your money to spend as you pleased. Thought it might come in handy when it came time to build your house. At least, I always hoped you'd come back, and we'd be building it. Where'd it come from Jess? Please don't tell me you were selling your gun again."

Jess gave a wry grin. "Well," he began, drawing the word out. He leaned back in his chair and grinned his crooked grin, knowing what he was about to say would wind Slim up. "I'm sorry to disappoint you but I was sort of selling my gun." He held up a hand to stop Slim's expected outburst. "I accepted the County Sheriff's job where Francie lived. Ben's ranch was doing well enough I could hire in some help while I took the Sheriff's position. It paid really well but I didn't need the money." Slim let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, I'll be darned – Sheriff Harper." Slim laughed happily. "So, why did you give it up? Come to think of it, we never did discuss how or why you were able to come home."

"Francie met and married a nice man. He'll take real good care of her. She didn't need me anymore. I wanted to come home. This is my home now, Slim. This is where I wanted to be. You and them damned ole stakes. They finally got a hold of me and I couldn't settle no where's else."

"Jess" Slim knew he was treading on thin ice. "Your kidnapping. The Grangers – I get they wanted revenge for their father. But Dobbs – what was he in this whole plot?"

There was an eerie silence and Slim swore he could see Jess shutting down. He was sorry he had asked. It was none of his business. Jess seemed in a trance before he finally spoke.

"Dobbs was a sheriff in the next county over from mine. He was also running guns and I busted his gang. We didn't know it was him until he'd already fled. He used the Grangers to get me. That's why he wanted to ruin my reputations and not just kill me. He needed to discredit any work I had done that could be held against him. He was just as sick in the head as the Grangers were."

Jess could see Slim was sorry he had asked any questions. He reached out to rest a hand on Slim's shoulder. "It's okay, Slim. It's over and done with. It don't matter no more."

The next morning, they ordered the lumber for Jess' home. They couldn't wait to get started on the addition to the Sherman -Harper ranch. Phase three had begun.

_**JESS' RECOVERY CONTINUES**_

_**Beth writes**_

Jess' house was coming along nicely. As soon as they were done with chores, the boys spent part of each day working on it. In spite of Dr. Hanson's warnings, Jess was right in the midst of helping. He'd work until his energy gave out, exhaustedly relishing his muscular development and the return of his chiseled physique. Dr. Hanson gave up trying to control Jess' recovery and cleared him to do anything he felt he could do.

Being able to ride Traveler again brought Jess immense joy. Mounting, on the other hand, did cause him problems. The left leg no longer bent properly or supported his weight for mounting on the correct side. Jess solved that problem by vaulting easily from the ground onto Traveler's back. If he needed his stirrup, he was capable of mounting Traveler from the "off" side

Jess started disappearing for hours at a time. We were never too sure where he went, but he always took care to let us know he was going and would be back in time for supper. Slim and I noticed he had begun wearing his gun again. We strongly suspected Jess was out practicing, honing his speed and accuracy.

_**THE MCCONNELL FAMILY VISITS**_

At Jess' request, Beth invited Doreen, Brianna and Katie to spend a day at the ranch. Arriving at the McConnell home, Katie launched herself into Jess' arms the moment he stepped onto the sidewalk. He hugged her and laughed as she showered him with kisses, before setting her into the buggy. Doreen came next, greeting him with a tremendous hug and a kiss so suggestive and intimate it embarrassed anyone looking on; but Jess didn't seem to mind at all. He helped her up into the front seat of the buggy. Offering assistance to Brianna, Jess held out his hand. She slipped her hand into his and once again he felt as if he'd been struck by lightning. As she said "thank you", a memory flashed through his mind, disappearing as quickly as it had appeared.

As promised, Jess took the ladies on a tour of the ranch, showing Katie and Brianna much of what he had already shown Doreen. Katie loved petting the horses and feeding them the apples Beth provided. Slim joined the group for the picnic Beth had arranged down by the lake.

They spread the blanket out under the shade of the huge oak tree. It was a perfect afternoon for the picnic. His belly full, Jess stretched out full length and found himself dozing off while the ladies chatted amicably. As he dozed, the women's voices dulled into a background noise, not really hearing the words they said. He recognized Beth, Doreen and Katie's voices. But it was Brianna's voice which triggered distant memories. Memories he wasn't sure were real or not. He felt peaceful and lulled into sleep.

He felt something light against his jaw and tried to brush it away, only to have it come back again. Opening one eye, Jess saw Katie's grinning face as she traced a weed down his cheek. "I'm gonna get you for that." He teasingly threatened. Seeing he was awake, she squealed and ran. He jumped to his feet and gave a halting, limping chase, pretending she was always just out of reach. She finally ran back to the picnic cloth, seeking "protection" among the ladies still sitting there.

All too soon it was time to pack up and take the McConnell family back to Laramie. Even though he limped, Jess easily carried a sleeping Katie into the bedroom as directed by Brianna. Leaving Brianna to settle Katie for the night; Doreen saw Jess to the door, seductively kissing him goodnight before he left. She was disappointed when his response was less amorous than she expected.

_**JESS HAS TROUBLE ADJUSTING**_

_**Beth writes:**_

Things happened to let us know Jess still wasn't fully recovered. He was lying down on the couch under the window. He must have dozed off. Nathan was toddling around the house and pushed open the bedroom door, banging it against the wall. Jess was on his feet and had drawn his weapon in the blink of the eye. I'm not too sure who was more horrified – him or me. He actually went pale, shaking as he put his gun away, apologizing repeatedly as I held Nathan. I knew, deep in my heart, Jess would never purposely harm Nathan. But this incident scared the tar out of me. He reminded me of how he had been the first day we met – cold, calculated and potentially violent. He had scared me back then too. The man in front of me was a far cry from the man I had come to call my brother, whom I trusted without question. But now I had reservations. I hated doubting my husband's best friend and partner.

Then, there was the day when Jess belted Slim. Jess was standing at the corral fence, checking out the new horses. Slim came out of the barn to stand beside him, dropping a hand on Jess's shoulder as he had done thousands of times. Jess elbowed Slim in the gut hard and followed up with a right cross, sending Slim sprawling in the dust. Once again, Jess was thoroughly upset by his behavior. We just never knew what would set him off.

It was frightening to see Jess' reactions; any sudden noise would set him off. It could be as simple as someone dropping a tool into the toolbox or hearing the trace chains jangle. Any of it would have him spinning towards the sound, ready to pull his gun.

The day came when Jess took his gun off. Sadly, he wrapped the belt around the holster and put it away in his bureau. He told us he was afraid of himself and what he might do. I cannot describe the heartbreak watching Jess accept defeat, knowing that there was still a piece of him which was broken.

Not long after, we had a meeting with Dr. Hanson. Doreen was included in the meeting as it seemed she was, indeed, about to become a part of our family. Doreen held Jess' hand as Dr. Hanson explained the unusual behavior. Whether Jess would ever be fully cured was unknown. Doreen seemed nonplussed by Jess' behavior and continued making plans for her future with him.

Doreen chose several fabric swatches for curtain material for Jess' house. I know curtains were probably something Jess wouldn't even think about. Still, it bothered me how Doreen was making the house "her" house. Maybe Slim was right, I was just jealous.

However, I was quite taken aback when Doreen stated she wanted a design change in "their" house. Slim and Jess had worked for hours on the house layout, figuring where the different rooms would be and the new-fangled indoor plumbing would run. Doreen didn't like the interior design. Her design change would cost the boys both time and money to re-arrange things her way. Slim had walked away from the ensuing argument, leaving it up to Jess and Doreen to decide. Jess and Doreen argued long and loudly about it. In the end, Doreen huffed out of the house, climbed into her rented buggy, and drove away. Jess didn't try to follow her.

Doreen returned the next day. She was contrite and convinced Jess she was sorry for the argument; the house could stay the way he designed it. A few hours later they were once again walking hand in hand. Since it was a beautiful day, Jess asked Doreen to go down to the lake with him for some fishing and a picnic. I gladly furnished them with the luncheon and watched as they drove the buggy off towards the lake. I was pretty sure Jess was going to come back with a fiancé, but secretly hoped it would not happen.

_**ALL IS NOT AS IT SEEMS**_

Jess and Doreen stopped beside the edge of the lake. He laughed good-naturedly when she pretended to be horrified at putting a worm on the hook. He didn't seem to realize she really was horrified. Doreen soon became bored with fishing. Leaning closer to a distracted Jess, she reached out a fingertip to playfully trace his jaw line. She screamed when Jess turned, his face an angry mask; his lightening reflexes grabbing her wrist in a vice like grip. Realizing what he had done, he immediately dropped her hand and turned away from her. He was ashamed he had not been able to control his reaction. He tried to apologize. He thought she, of all people, should understand how he reacted to being touched unexpectedly.

Shaken, Doreen walked to the buggy and retrieved the luncheon. Without a word she spread the picnic cloth out under the great oak tree and arranged the food and plates. Her good mood seemed to have returned when she called him to come eat. He couldn't help noticing the bruise on her wrist where he had grabbed her.

As they ate, Jess thought about their relationship. For the first time in his life, he was not afraid of "the love of a good woman", as he had often proclaimed. Doreen filled the emptiness he felt. She knew little of his past but didn't seem to mind he was a former gunslinger. She made his heart beat faster whenever she was near, and she loved the ranch as much as he did. He sure did enjoy holding her in his arms and kissing her or having her cuddled up beside him next to the fireplace. But that was as far as they had gone.

Doreen had made it clear she would welcome him into her bed, but he couldn't bring himself to take that next step with her. He held back from consummating their relationship or asking her to marry him. As much as he wanted to ask, the words just wouldn't come. He told himself the right time just hadn't presented itself.

Here, together on the picnic, should have been the perfect time, but he still held back. His reaction a few minutes ago weighed heavily upon him. Could he bring that side of himself into a marriage? Could he ask her to be patient while he worked through the damage the Grangers had inflicted upon his mind and body? Doreen had certainly seen him at his worst. Even though she had nursed him, she seemed repulsed by the fresh scars marring his wrists and neck. They would fade in time, but for now, they were quite visible, and he covered them with long sleeves and bandanna. Sighing, Jess turned onto his stomach and cradled his head on his arms.

As he lay there, he suddenly longed to hear the soft humming of a toneless tune; to hear the velvety voice which had soothed him during his restless sleep. He missed the gentle touch which never surprised him; he had never flinched away from and had rubbed the warm ointment on his aching muscles with a delicate touch.

Doreen had been his only nurse. Yet her voice wasn't as soft or soothing as the one which had freed him from his nightmares; had lulled him to sleep. And then there were the times when Doreen's touch surprised him and he flinched away from her, or worse – reacted violently - just as he had earlier today. Sometimes he thought he had imagined the other voice. After all, between the fever, pain drugs and sedatives he'd been given, he'd been "out of it" for most of those early weeks.

He didn't understand how he could welcome her touch one time and recoil from it another. He convinced himself it was all part of his recovery process. His mind and body were still healing. Things would get better with time. But now was not the time to ask her to marry him.

No, he couldn't marry her right now. He wasn't safe to be around, and he didn't want to hurt or scare Katie. He couldn't bring his ready-made family home when he couldn't control his violent reactions. As he fell asleep in the shade, he thought of Katie.

He already knew he loved her. She had stolen his heart the first time those hazel eyes had looked into his own blue ones. He had no doubts about raising another man's daughter as his own. Other than the picnic, he hadn't seen her since moving back to the ranch. He missed her. Doreen never mentioned her and had not brought her on any of her visits.

There was a noticeable coolness between Jess and Doreen when they returned from the picnic. Doreen was sullen, barely speaking to anyone. She didn't stay long before getting into the buggy and driving off. Jess seemed distant and shut himself in his bedroom. Later that night he told Slim what happened down at the lake, how he had reacted so violently to her touch.

Doreen was back at the ranch early the next morning. Jess headed her off before she could step down from the buggy. He told her he wouldn't be seeing her again – that he needed to get himself under control first. She had whined and wheedled, trying to get him to change his mind, let her keep seeing him. She had promised to help him through it, to stay by his side. He would have none of it, finally sending her home with instructions to give him time to finish recovering. He just couldn't, rather he wouldn't, take the chance of hurting her physically if he lost control.

_**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN **_

_**TRUE RECOVERY BEGINS**_

Jess took to taking early morning walks to strengthen his leg muscles. In only a few days his limp was less pronounced, although he still used the cane. He would often find himself at the family cemetery, standing beside Daisy's grave, talking as if she was there with him.

"I remember now. I died but I didn't cross over. Slim knows. He knew I was dead, but he pulled me from that burning building anyways. Knew I wasn't supposed to die and would be given a second chance – at least that's how I figure why he did what he did. I can't ever repay him for that.

The predictions of the long recovery certainly came true. I figured it was best I not tell the others. They're already worried about my mental state with the nightmares and all. They'd have me committed if they knowed I was up here talking to you about me dying and coming back.

My hands are nearly healed. My grip is better. I'm not as smooth or fast as I used to be. But it is coming along. My leg is still healing. The damage was deep. Doc thinks someday I'll be able to walk without the limp." He paused, looking down at the main house. "I need to leave, should leave, but I can't. I have to stay to protect them. I'm still worried I'm going to hurt them. It scares me how I can go off half-cocked so easily.

I pulled a gun on Nathan the other day. He's barely more than a baby and I pulled a gun on him because he startled me. I decked Slim when he came up behind me, and I almost broke Doreen's arm when she touched me. I had to put my gun away to protect them from me. I'm hurting them – just like was predicted – and I can't seem to stop.

There's evil coming. I can feel it. Whatever happens; they'll all be safe. I swear it. It is why I'm here - to protect my family. You know I'll do it. They will be safe even if it's the last thing I do. I wasn't promised any more than coming back to protect them. I'll die for them, again, if that's what it takes."

_**RUMOR MILL**_

When Jess had first gone to the McConnell's for recovery, the rumor mill was rampant with stories about how he had gotten hurt so badly as to need a private nurse. Then, much to the local girls' envy; stories abounded which told of a recovering Jess Harper falling in love and courting his nurse, Doreen McConnell. It was the stuff of romance novels and the town couldn't get enough of it. However, it didn't take long for word to get around when Jess was no longer courting Doreen. Every mother's daughter was more than willing to step in to nurse him should he need more tender care. Jess' reputation, followed by his well-publicized court trial and absolution of the crimes, made every girl dream of being the one to cure the former gunman turned rancher with her love.

No one had to tell Jess the word was out, it was obvious by the outright flirtations from the girls he happened to pass on the sidewalks. When he was in the General Store, the girls all seemed to know and suddenly appear beside him. It annoyed him to no end he couldn't conduct business in town without a gaggle of females flitting around him. His only escape was the saloon or Mort's office. At least the girls in the saloon were friendly without making a nuisance of themselves.

_**DANCE INTO DANGER**_

A month after the disastrous picnic, Jess knocked on the McConnell's door. Doreen answered the door and politely invited him in, an icy edge to her voice. He declined, handing her a bouquet of flowers, and asking her to go to the Saturday night dance with him. She accepted enthusiastically, the icy edge gone. She would have hugged and kissed him, but he stepped back, out of reach. Mumbling something about work to do, he mounted Traveler and rode off down the street towards town. Doreen stared after him, a frown upon her face. Then she remembered she would see him in a couple days, and they would go to the dance together. Maybe Jess was coming around to begin courting her again, to ask her to marry him. She smiled, thinking her plans might not have been derailed after all. She still had a chance of becoming Mrs. Jess Harper. She couldn't help the smile which spread across her face at the thought of owning half of the Sherman-Harper Ranch; conveniently forgetting she had made other arrangements in regard to one Jess Harper.

Jess arrived promptly at seven the night of the dance. Doreen greeted him warmly, accepting his kiss on her cheek but wishing it had been more. She drank in how handsome he was in his frock coat and brocade vest, starched white shirt with tie, fitted pants, and tall boots. She was resplendent in a green satin dress which fitted her perfectly, a plunging neckline showing off her assets. As he watched her twirl around, showing off her dress, Jess wondered just why he was holding off marrying her.

The dance hall was getting crowded when they arrived. Per town rules, he checked his gun before entering the dance hall. Brianna and Katie had gone ahead, saving a table for them all. Jess looked around, finally spotting Slim and Beth a short distance away. The men nodded in acknowledgement to each other. Although Jess had been into town and the bar a few times, this was the first time since coming back to Laramie that he had been in a crowd; had worn his gun. Slim had promised to keep an eye on him, to help him avoid any potential unpleasant situations. As the night wore on, whenever Slim and Beth swirled by Jess and his partner on the dance floor, the men exchanged glances; Jess nodding to Slim he was okay.

Jess took turns dancing with Doreen, Brianna and Katie. His limp was barely noticeable and didn't interfere with his dancing. He noticed both Doreen and Brianna danced with a well-dressed gentleman. Later, the girls introduced the man as Edward Jacobs, a land investor. Jess looked Edward over, not caring for his arrogant stance. The man dressed a little too well, talked a little too smoothly, and was a little too charming. He reminded Jess of a snake oil salesman.

Part way through the dance, Jess began having the feeling he was being watched. The feeling grew stronger as the evening progressed. Jess took Doreen back to the table and excused himself, stepping outside into the night air. It was only moments before Slim was at his side.

"Slim." He began.

"Ya, me too. But I don't know who or where . . . can't spot anyone."

Jess heaved a sigh of relief. He had not lost his "connection" to Slim. More importantly, Slim felt someone was watching them too. Jess hadn't been imagining it. Although both men scouted around, neither could find anything to explain their discomfort.

Slim and Jess returned to the dance, intent on protecting the women who were their responsibilities. Both men retrieved their guns from the hallway. Jess watched as Slim and Beth left the dance; keeping a protective eye on them until they entered the hotel doors. He turned then to find Doreen, along with Brianna and Katie. They were now his priorities. He needed to get them out of harm's way.

Before he could return to the building, there was a commotion from within. There were the sounds of things being overturned, women were screaming, the band had stopped playing. Shoving through the crowd, Jess saw two of the men had gotten into a fight. Mort and his deputy had already busted up the fight and were hauling the offenders off to jail. People were righting the overturned tables and the band struck up again. It unnerved him that it was merely a common fight, not the evil he had expected to encounter. He spotted Doreen, Brianna, and Katie among the crowd. Working his way over to them, they were relieved to see him and readily agreed to go home.

Jess unlocked the McConnell home door and allowed the women to enter before him. He hung back, watching the street for anything amiss. Satisfied, he stepped through the door just as he heard Brianna gasp. His hand reached for his gun but froze when he saw Jonathan Granger holding a gun to Katie's head, his other arm firmly wrapped around her waist. Jess stared at the man before him; He could see Katie was scared, but not panicking. "Granger." Jess spit out the name. Jonathan smiled the evil smile Jess had seen so many times over the term of his imprisonment. Never removing the gun from Katie, Granger ordered Doreen to take Jess' gun and toss it down the hallway. She did so haltingly, seemingly as scared as Brianna who had not moved since seeing Granger holding onto Katie. Continuing to hold Katie, Jonathan pointed to some rawhide strips lying on the table and ordered Doreen to tie Jess' hands behind his back.

Jess seethed, realizing Granger had planned this, had come prepared, and he had walked right into a trap – again. He pulled against the rawhide, hoping Doreen had done a poor job of tying him. Granger signaled for Jess and the two women to go stand in front of the fireplace. He signaled for Jess to kneel, threatening Katie when Jess hesitated before dropping to his knees. Doreen was ordered to tie Jess' feet together. Then he ordered her to tie Brianna to a chair and gag her. After that was accomplished, he had Doreen sit, releasing Katie so he could tie and gag Doreen. Katie ran to Jess, wrapping her arms around him, crying into his shoulder.

His job accomplished, Granger approached Jess, ripping Katie away from him, holding onto her by the shoulder of her dress. Jess glared at Jonathan defiantly. If Granger was going to shoot him, he'd have to look him in the eye. He felt Katie's eyes upon him; knowing there were tears running down her face.

"He's the one isn't he; the bad man who hurt you." she cried.

"Ya, honey. He's the one. He's going to finish what he started. He's going to kill me." Jess swallowed before forcing himself to continue, ignoring the strain on his vocal chords. "Turn away, Little One, this is not a memory you should have. "

Granger dragged Katie with him as he moved to stand behind Jess. Jess felt the muzzle of the revolver against the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and bowed his head. He had failed to protect them and now would pay the ultimate price.

"Close your eyes, Katie." He hoarsely commanded. "I don't want you to see this. Just remember that I love you."

Instead of hearing the fatal click as the trigger was pulled, stars exploded behind his eyes as Granger clubbed him into unconsciousness. Katie wiggled free, screaming, and trying to get to Jess. Jonathan grabbed the back of her dress and threw her out of his way, causing her to fall against the couch and slump to the floor. He turned his fury on Jess again.

Granger picked Katie up as if she were a rag doll. Turning to look at the scared women, "I'm gonna kill him." He said nodding towards Jess. "But I won't do it here. The noise would bring the law. Can't have that. I'll do it when and where I decide. He cares about this young'n, I seen how he looks out for her. When he wakes up –tell him to meet me. He'll know where - and we'll finish this. Tell him to come alone if he wants the girl back in one piece. If he follows directions, she'll be returned to you – but you'll never see him alive again." And with that he was gone.

_**HARPER VERSUS GRANGER**_

Jess didn't need to open his eyes to know he was lying on Dr. Hanson's examination table – again. It was becoming as familiar to him as his bed at home.

His head hurt like he'd never had it hurt before. Breathing was painful, indicating he had a couple cracked, if not broken, ribs. His vision was blurry. When he tried to turn his head, his stomach threatened to empty its contents. Suddenly he rolled to his side and vomited into the bucket Dr. Hanson had ready.

"Uh Huh," Dr. Hanson said. "I figured that was coming. You just lay back and let the world stop spinning. You have a severe concussion and two cracked ribs. You're going to be bedridden for a few days."

"No. Can't." Jess tried to speak but his speech was slurred "Katie. . ." He tried to sit up only to have Dr. Hanson easily push him back into a lying position.

"Hush now," he said. "You'll not be going anywhere for a while. You're going to have to let Mort and Slim take care of finding Katie. They're riding out at daylight."

"No." Jess became highly agitated, yet Dr. Hanson's hand easily pinned him to the table.

Jess placed both hands alongside his pounding head. "Mort can't go. Granger'll kill him, kill her. Has to be me… He wants me. . . Kill me."

Dr. Hanson looked at him. "I'm sorry; son, but you're not going anywhere. You can't even sit up, let alone stand. You're here for the night at least, probably longer. Jess, I'm telling you - if you try going off on a rescue mission with a concussion, you won't make it far, and you probably won't make it back. Now, just lie back and reconcile yourself to staying put for a while. Once, just once, do what I tell you."

Jess felt a needle prick his arm and swore. His words fell on deaf ears as the doctor waited for the medication to take effect. He sighed, knowing Jess would be out of it for a good six hours. At least he was assured Jess would get a few hours rest before their battle of wills resumed.

Dawn was just breaking the horizon when Jess slowly emerged from the drug-induced sleep. He moved cautiously, testing whether he would be sick again or too dizzy to sit up. He stifled a groan as he pushed himself upright. His head still hurt and found it hard to think a coherent thought. The events of the previous evening brought him to full consciousness. Ignoring the warning signs, he pushed himself off the table, using the wall to keep from falling. Katie was the only thought on his mind. He had to get to Katie. He realized he was still wearing his good clothes, his vest and frock coat carefully draped over a nearby chair. Strapping on his gun belt, he picked his boots up off the floor and, carrying them under his arm, slipped out of the doctor's office. Once outside, he sat on the sidewalk and pulled his boots on.

The livery stable looked a million miles away, but Jess headed towards it, stumbling erratically, as if he were drunk. Once he reached the stable doors, he leaned against them, waiting for his world to stop spinning. The stable boy was awake and quickly saddled Traveler for him. Flipping the boy a coin, Jess led his horse out into the early dawn, mounted and rode towards the McConnell house. Even if he hadn't known where to find Jonathan Granger, his tracks weren't hard to pick up. He'd made no attempt to cover them, wanting Jess to find them and follow. Jess figured he was riding into another trap but there was nothing to do but follow the trail.

Jess pulled Traveler to a halt as soon as he rode to the edge of a clearing he knew all too well. Although the barn was now only rubble, it was still a stark and unwelcome reminder of the torture he had endured. He shook his head to rid himself of the memories associated with this place; instantly regretting the move as his world began to spin. His muscles hurt just being reminded of his imprisonment and treatment at the Granger's hands. He dismounted and hid Traveler in the brush.

Other than knowing Jonathan wanted to kill him, Jess didn't know the game plan – what he had in store for him or how he'd execute it. He figured he needed to force Granger's hand. He stepped into the clearing, bellowing Jonathan's name, calling him out.

Jonathan emerged from the cabin, holding Katie tightly, his gun pointed at her. Jess fought the visceral reaction he had at seeing the man again. He fought to hold himself still, as his mind and body relived the abuse inflicted upon him. Suddenly an old, familiar calmness washed over Jess. His world became still, his focus crystallized. He could see the detail in everything around him; felt the slight breeze, heard the birds in the woods go quiet. He saw nothing but Granger holding Katie and the gun in Granger's hand.

Jess made eye contact with Katie, willing her to read his intentions. He saw her nod slightly, trust written in her eyes.

Granger took a tighter grip on Katie's dress shoulder and laughed an evil laugh.

"You're a big man Granger." Jess challenged. His voice was suddenly loud and clear, carrying only a hint of the coarseness, which had plagued his speech. His anger was evident in every word he spoke. However, his mind was clear, focused; his body poised, ready for action.

"What does it feel like to hide behind a helpless child? Oh, that's right; you're only brave when your victims are helpless. Just like when you and your brother held me captive. You kept me helpless, in chains, so you could beat and torture me. For what? For some sick sense of "justice"? You tried to break me, Granger, but you failed. You thought you'd killed me. I didn't die – not even after you hung me. You failed, Jonathan, you failed. Now it's your turn to die."The baiting of Granger had the desired effect. Bellowing incoherently, Jonathan shoved Katie away from himself, at the same time swinging his gun towards Jess. Jess drew and fired in one fluid motion, taking Jonathan down permanently.

Jess reached Katie in less than a heartbeat. She clung desperately to him; her tears dampening his shirt, safe in his protective arms. He hugged her tightly before lifting her and turning to where Traveler was tied. There was no trace of his limp as he strode purposely away from the grisly scene.

Jess slid Katie onto Traveler's back before mounting up behind her. His vision was fading in and out, he was nauseated, and the pain in his head drowned out all conscious thought. He turned towards Laramie, letting Traveler set a ground-eating gait. Every stride was agony, yet he refused to slow until he got Katie back home safely.

He reined Traveler to a stop in front of Doreen's house. Brianna ran out to them, pulling Katie into her arms, crying, and fussing over her. He touched the brim of his hat as an acknowledgement then turned towards Dr. Hanson's office. He felt the adrenalin drain from his body. No longer able to sit straight in the saddle, Jess hunched over, listing dangerously to one side as he rode. He fought to stay conscious at least long enough to reach the doctor's office. Two strides later, he pitched forward off Traveler landing, semi-conscious, in the dirt of Main Street.

_**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**_

**BACK TO THE DOCTOR**

Jess was vaguely aware of people shouting; of being carried and laid upon the doctor's examining room table.

"Dammit!" The doctor exclaimed. "Boy, you don't listen to a damned thing I tell you. You've got a severe concussion and should have been lying down and not out gallivanting around."

"Was just a little gallivanting." Jess mumbled feebly, holding up his hand; his fore finger and thumb held about an inch apart. Dr. Hanson smiled; glad to see a glimmer of the old Jess Harper. He figured if Jess could still make jokes, he'd be just fine.

"Well, let's see what you've got done to yourself this time." He said as he began the exam.

A few minutes later, Dr. Hanson slid his stool back from the bedside. "Well, other than the severe concussion and your cracked ribs, you look to be okay. But falling off your horse in the middle of Main Street didn't help it - or your ribs - at all."

Jess moved as to sit up only to have the doctor easily push him back onto the table.

"Oh, no you don't." He said authoritatively. "You are on bed rest for the next few days. Then we'll see if you can get up. Don't worry, I'll send a message to Mort and Slim that you're here."

Jess gave up and lay back. His limbs were becoming heavy. He suspected Dr. Hanson had slipped something into the water he had drunk. He was at least grateful he hadn't been stuck with a needle again. He couldn't keep his eyes open and found himself succumbing to the sleep medication.

There was a silken voice speaking to him; thanking him for saving her daughter. As he slipped deeper into the drug induced sleep, he could no longer understand the words, but welcomed her presence, the sound of her voice. It was the voice which had soothed him during his nightmares. Soft hands touched his face before clutching his hand, communicating both softness and strength in their touch. He felt the kiss she bestowed on their clasped hands. He desperately wanted to grasp the hands which held his and not let go. His sedated body refused to respond. He felt her come close and there was a light kiss upon his lips; a kiss he hungered to return wholeheartedly but was unable to do so. Then he felt the hands withdrawn from his, a final tingly touch to his arm, and the emptiness when she moved away.

When he woke up the next morning, Doreen was sitting by his bedside, her head pillowed on her arm beside him on the bed. As she felt him stir, she sat up and smiled. "Hey, there, welcome back. You were out quite a while."

"Aw, Doc drugged me when I wasn't lookin'. Gonna have to watch him." He answered, trying to make light of the situation but feeling sluggish as the drug effects began to wear off.

She took his hand in one of hers. His clouded mind faintly registered a different touch than last night. Doreen reached out her other hand to brush the curl off his forehead, frowning when he turned his head away. "Can I at least kiss you good morning?" she asked pouting.

He grinned, "Ya, come here." He said reaching up and drawing her in for a kiss. Again, his mind and body told him something was different. He could feel it in her kiss.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing, really – other than having Katie kidnapped and you hurt again. I really just want to take you home; get you settled back out at the ranch."

"Huh, you'll have to talk to Doc about that. He's the one who keeps putting me under. I feel ready to go home – just have to get his okay."

"Well, you aren't going to get it; not for a few days at least." Dr. Hanson said. His tone was serious as he continued. "Jess, you better plan on taking it easy for a while. It's barely six months since you were at death's door. You had a concussion then and this one is worse. You may feel fine, but your head is not healed. Another blow, even a light one, could cause loss of memory, blindness, paralysis, or even worse – death. I'm telling you Jess, this is nothing to ignore."

For once, Jess didn't argue. His head and ribs hurt too much to ignore the doctor's warning. Three days later, Dr. Hanson finally gave his okay for Jess to go home.

". . . But you're going home – straight home - and in a buggy – not riding. You hear me?" Dr. Hanson was sure Jess had not listened to a single thing he had just told him.

With that, Jess swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sat upright. He waited for the world to stop spinning before he tried to stand up. Doreen was all smiles as she said, "I've got a buggy outside. Here, just lean on me and we'll get you home."

Easing himself into the buggy, he accepted the medication the doctor packed for him. Assuming Doreen would be caring for Jess, Dr. Hanson gave her instructions for treatment.

Doreen pulled the buggy to a stop as she came alongside Slim and Beth who were standing on the homestead's front porch. "I thought I'd take Jess to our house and get him settled there." She didn't notice Beth stiffen nor Slim's eyes flash at the statement.

"We have his room ready." Beth said, controlling her temper. "We thought it would be better if someone was close by. We didn't think he should be alone right now."

"Well, he won't be alone." Doreen replied. Her voice and eyes dared either Slim or Beth to challenge her. "I'm staying here with him. I'll take care of him."

"No." Jess's voice commanded their attention. He had just noticed the packed carpetbag on the floor of the buggy. "I'm staying here." He said indicating the homestead and not his new house. "Besides, you need to get back to Katie."

"She's just fine staying with Brianna." Doreen retorted angrily. Then her body language softened as she reached over to put a loving hand on his shoulder, only to feel him pull away.

Angry, she didn't even hear him speak Slim's name. Slim had not only heard, but read the message in Jess' eyes. He stepped forward to help Jess down from the buggy and helped him into the house. Beth reached into the buggy and retrieved the medical supplies. She'd double check with Dr. Hanson, but she was pretty sure she knew what needed to be done.

"You're welcome to come in." Beth invited, always the considerate hostess. "His room is just down the hall," she said pointing towards the house.

Doreen gave her a scathing look. "No, thank you." She responded icily. "Jess and I will be discussing this! It's time he took to his own home. Our home - his and mine!" She slapped the reins, making the horse jump forward, then turned the buggy and drove back towards Laramie. Beth tried but failed to hide the smirk upon her face. "It ain't yours yet, honey." She whispered as Doreen drove out of sight. Obviously, Doreen had yet to learn no one told Jess Harper what to do.

By the time Beth re-entered the house to check on Jess, he was sound asleep in his own bed. From the doorway, she smiled at the scene before her. Only Jess Harper could fall asleep that quickly

_**JESS QUESTIONS HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH DOREEN**_

Beth was busy with Nathan and Slim had gone to the barn when Doreen slipped into the house the next morning. Jess was asleep when she let herself into his bedroom. It only took moments before pandemonium broke loose. Slim, having heard the ruckus as he came back into the house, slid to a stop when he opened Jess' bedroom door.

Jess' bed lay on its side; Jess lay partially on the floor, doing his best to untangle himself from the bedding. The dresser was overturned. Doreen was just sitting up from having been sprawled on the floor. The water pitcher and wash basin lay smashed in pieces, apparently drenching Doreen as they fell. Jess' loud, colorful language filled the air, matched in intensity by Doreen's screeching at him. Their yelling scared Nathan and he set to wailing. Doreen huffed out of the house and once again climbed into her buggy and drove back to Laramie.

Beth quickly calmed Nathan while Slim set about righting Jess' bedroom. Beth's eyes widened in horror when she saw how pale Jess had become. As he quietly accepted the headache medication Beth offered, they were able to find out what happened. Apparently, Doreen had kissed Jess to wake him, a move which did not end well. Jess's survival instincts had kicked in, sending her reeling away from the bed, crashing into the dresser, and upsetting the entire works.

Lying back upon his bed, Jess felt bad about his reaction. He knew this time, if he was to salvage his relationship with Doreen, he would have to do an over the top apology. Yet, it grated on him because she had intruded upon him, in the privacy of his own bedroom. He was confused. He'd been keeping her at arm's length while he dealt with his unpredictable reactions to different situations. Had taking her to the dance made her comfortable taking those liberties? Moreover, why hadn't he welcomed such overtures from someone he professed to love and want to marry? It was too much for his aching mind and body to work on right then, so he turned onto his side and went back to sleep.

A while later, Beth quietly looked in on Jess, making sure he was okay. Thinking he was still asleep, she started to withdraw from the open doorway. "Stay." She heard him ask. "Keep me company for a while."

"Oh, I don't know about that." she teased. "There's a big blond guy living here who might not take kindly to his wife in another man's bedroom."

"Ya, right." He scoffed. "You two ain't looked at anyone else since the first time you laid eyes on each other, out there on the north range." They both laughed, knowing just how true the statement was.

"Sure you don't want Slim?" she asked, willing to defer to his best friend.

"Naw." he laughed self-consciously. "Don't think he can help with this one. I ain't ever felt like this. Need a woman's point of view."

Intrigued that Jess would want her advice, she pulled a chair up beside his bed. He took her hand, his thumb rubbing gently over the back of it.

"Out with it." She commanded. "What's eating you?"

Normally reticent about his personal life, Jess only thought a moment or two before answering. "Doreen."

"Ah." She answered, nodding her head. "Kinda figured that was it. So, what is the problem?"

"I think I love her, want to marry her, protect Katie, raise Katie." Here, his voice drifted off, his eyes searching the ceiling, avoiding eye contact.

"But?" she asked.

"But my head is telling me one thing and my heart and body are telling me something else." He paused, searching for the right words. "It's like there's two people. There's the Doreen we all see and who took such good care of me. She's kind and gentle and makes me happy. Well, at least she used to." Again, he paused.

"But?" Beth prompted again.

"But there's something or maybe I should say someone else." He hesitated, afraid she would think him crazy. "Those bad nights I had after Mort and Slim found me. . . The times Doc sedated me trying to stop the nightmares . . . There was a voice which calmed me, soothed me; someone who stroked my hair so softly I barely felt it. A touch upon my forehead, face or shoulder that was comforting, and I never pulled away from. Not like I still do with Doreen. You'd think after all of the care she has given me I could tolerate, even welcome her touch. But there's something different, something I can't describe. Doreen was my only caretaker; it had to have been her. I even convinced myself I had been delirious and imagined the different voice and touch – until the other night."

"What happened?" Beth prompted once again.

"The voice was back – beside me in Doc's recovery room. Just as quiet and touch just as soft as I remembered. She held my hand, touched my arm, and kissed me. I wanted to kiss her, hold onto her, and never let go. But Doc had me sedated – again; I was too far under to react, then I felt her slip away. This morning it was Doreen beside my bed. It was Doreen who kissed me good morning. But it wasn't the same - I don't know, maybe I'm just confused."

"I can't make your choices for you, Jess." Beth said. "You should listen to what your mind and body; especially your heart, are telling you. Maybe it is too soon, your mind and body are still recovering from a horrendous trauma; trying to sort themselves out. But if you don't love someone heart, mind, and soul, then she isn't the right one. You have time to decide, and if Doreen is the right one, she'll still be there waiting for you.

"Thanks, Beth." He said. His voice trailed off and she knew he was falling asleep.

She rose and kissed him on the cheek, whispering. "I'd best get supper started. I hear tell a certain Jess Harper has a voracious appetite." She was rewarded with a smile as he drifted off.

_**MORT VISITS**_

The knock on the door resounded through Jess's head like sledge hammers striking metal. He groaned when the sound failed to lessen. He still laid in bed, debilitated by the pain, the medication doing little to ease his suffering. Sunlight hurt his eyes and any movement made him nauseous. For once he was glad to take Dr. Hanson's advice and just stay in bed.

"Jess, you up to having visitors?" Mort asked from the doorway.

One arm over his eyes, Jess beckoned Mort to come in with his free hand. He heard Mort pull a chair up to the bed and sit down.

"How ya doin' boy?" he asked.

"Been better." Came the honest response. "How are Brianna, Doreen and Katie?" He didn't even realize he had put Brianna first.

"They're just fine. Katie seems fine, no lingering after effects. But that's what I came to talk to you about. I need to finish the report on Granger and what all happened."

Jess nodded, he had been expecting the sheriff's visit. "What do you need to know?"

"Well, what happened out at the McConnell home? I know most everything from the time you arrived at the house to you being taken to Dr. Hanson's. What I don't know is what happened after that."

Jess dropped his arm from his eyes, wincing as he turned to look at Mort. "I don't remember anything once Granger clubbed me until I woke up at Doc's. Who found us? How long before they found us?"

"It wasn't long. Apparently, Granger had been in a hurry when he tied up Doreen. She got loose and sounded the alarm just a few minutes after he took Katie. Good thing too. You were in bad shape. Granger caved your head in pretty good."

Jess snorted. "You don't have to tell me; I'm still living with it."

"Ya, well, Dr. Hanson said you shouldn't have gone after Katie like you did. It could have killed you with that injury."

"Aw, Mort, don't you go lecturing me, too." Jess complained. "If I hadn't gone, Granger would have killed Katie for no other reason than you went in my place. He was after me, wanted to kill me. I don't know why he didn't just finish it there at the house. Then again, he was a sadistic madman. Thank goodness he didn't touch Katie."

Jess went on to tell Mort how things had gone down at the clearing by the cabin, how he had brought Katie back home only to end up back in Dr. Hanson's office. Mort nodded, indicating he had all the information he needed. After Mort left, something kept nagging at the edge of Jess' memory; something he couldn't put his finger on.

_**END OF A RELATIONSHIP**_

Doreen visited Jess nearly every day. She had apologized for surprising him, vowing to never do it again. Jess accepted her apology, relieved she hadn't blamed him for his instinctual reaction. After a few days, the headaches and dizziness began to fade. As Jess began to feel better, they would sit together on the porch or take short walks. Soon she was once again talking about getting the finishing touches on Jess' house so they could move in permanently.

While he still enjoyed kissing Doreen, something was missing; there was no spark between them. Somewhere, everything about their relationship had gone wrong. He no longer felt his heart flutter when he caught sight of her. There was nothing there. He felt empty. While she professed to love him and want to marry him, her words sounded hollow. She avoided looking at the marks on his neck or his wrists. What was even worse, beyond holding hands or her arm in his, he could barely tolerate her touch. He knew that wasn't the way he should feel about someone planning to be his wife. He had to admit it – it was over. Whatever had been between wasn't there anymore.

They were in the privacy of Jess' house when he told her. At first, she cried; then, when he wouldn't relent, she got angry. As her anger grew, she began to yell at him and throw anything she could lay her hands on. He only caught a few of the words she was yelling as he was too busy ducking the flying plates and flower pots. This was a side of her he had never seen. She turned then and stormed out of the house. By the time Jess got to the door, she had driven her buggy out of sight.

_**CHAPTER NINETEEN**_

_**JESS SEES BRIANNA IN A NEW LIGHT**_

Jess was loading supplies into the wagon when he spotted Doreen on the sidewalk across the street. He felt bad for the way he had ended things - even though he knew it had to be done. She gave him an icy look before turning and walking away. He would have gone after her, asked how she was doing, but was sure his approach would not be welcome.

"Don't let her get to you." Brianna spoke from beside him. "She'll get over it."

He tipped his hat before he shook her extended hand. "Brianna, how are you? Is Katie okay?"

"Yes, Jess, we're fine. Katie has no bad memories from our little episode. All she remembers is how her hero, Jess Harper, rushed in to save the day." They both chuckled at that. "She thinks you are better than any knight in shining armor."

Jess looked around "Where is she?" he asked

"Oh, school has started again. She's in school now. She'll be sorry she missed you."

"I'm sorry I missed her too." He said simply, shrugging his shoulders before stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Brianna looked at him, a look of bewilderment upon her face before she said. "You meant it didn't you, that night, when you said you loved her? It wasn't just something to calm her down, was it?"

He fidgeted. He couldn't meet her eyes as he nodded. "No, Ma'am, it wasn't just something to calm her down. She reminds me of my little sister before I lost her. She stole my heart from the first day I laid eyes on her in my sick room. I'd give almost anything to be her daddy, protect her, and give her a home out on the ranch. But me and Doreen," he shook his head sadly. "Well I'm just not fit to be husband or daddy material right now." He stopped, surprised at what he had just admitted.

"I understand." She said. When he looked at her, he knew she truly did understand. "It takes time to deal with what you went through. You had barely begun to heal when Granger re-entered your life and tore it apart again – this time involving all of us. You risked your life for us, and we can never thank you enough." Spontaneously, she placed both hands on his shoulders, stood on tiptoe, and kissed him lightly on the cheek before whispering "Thank you."

She was gone and had crossed the street before he recovered his senses enough to react. He stared after her, one hand covering the spot she had kissed, his other hand absently rubbing his chest as if to erase the sudden ache he felt there. He couldn't understand what had just happened; only knew his senses were reeling – and he hadn't flinched away from the surprise kiss.

From then on, whenever Jess picked up supplies, he always looked for Brianna, hoping to run into her again. He was disappointed when he didn't see her. He was even more disappointed when he saw her walking arm in arm with Edward Jacobs. Sometimes Brianna was in the General Store alone, sometimes with Doreen. It was always awkward when Doreen was in attendance. Even though it had been weeks since he had broken off the relationship, she was still mad and made it plain she had not forgiven him. He wished there was something he could do to make it right – but he couldn't.

He still wasn't completely well; maybe would never be. But he knew without a doubt, he would never marry Doreen.

_**JESS POSES QUESTIONS**_.

Jess entered Mort's office and headed straight for the coffee. He poured himself a cup and refilled Mort's cup before returning the pot to the stove, then settling into the chair across from Mort's desk.

"Well, just make yourself ta home." Mort teased. He stopped his writing, leaned back in his chair, and, holding his pencil between both hands, somberly studied his visitor. It was obvious Jess wasn't just there for a friendly visit - something was eating at him. Mort waited, knowing Jess would get to it in his own time.

"Mort," Jess began. "This last business with Granger – something just don't feel right."

"Oh, how's that?" Mort questioned, pretending he was only mildly interested. The truth was, Jess had his attention.

"Things just don't add up." Jess began. "Like - how'd he know I'd be at McConnell's? How'd he get in? Why just knock me out? Why'd he grab Katie – make me track them out to the clearing? Why the night of the dance? This was well planned out – it doesn't make sense. And isn't it kind of convenient it was Doreen who was the last to be tied up; who got free first and sounded the alarm just minutes after Granger made good his escape?

Mort leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk. "Good questions. Been wondering some of the same things. So, what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I wasn't the original target. I think I was payment to Granger in exchange for another job he was hired to do; only I killed Granger instead of him killing me and Katie."

"Katie?" Mort exclaimed. "Someone wanted to kill Katie?"

Jess nodded sadly. "It's all that I can figure. Granger could have come after me anywhere any time, but he didn't. He could have grabbed either of the women, but he didn't, he grabbed Katie. He had the gun to my head, could have ended it right there, but he didn't. He chose to make me track him out to the clearing. He taunted me how he was going to kill Katie. He thought he'd rattle me, and I'd make a mistake, either accidentally killing Katie myself, or putting him in the position where he'd kill her. Instead, I rattled him, and he pushed her away, leaving me a clear shot. I don't think either of us was supposed to leave that clearing." Jess heaved a sigh, glad to get that off his chest. Mort just looked at him, contemplating the implications of what he had just heard.

"That's all well and good Jess," Mort began, "but what reason would there be for it?"

Jess just shook his head. Nothing was adding up and he had no answers.

_**CHAPTER TWENTY**_

_**A NEW BEGINNING**_

"You're coming with us, aren't you?" Slim asked, dusting off his dress boots. He straightened and slid into his good jacket. Beth made sure it hung properly on his large frame. He tried tying his tie, something he had never successfully done, before finally giving up and letting Beth tie it for him. He forgot (or didn't care) about Jess being in the living room as he caught Beth around the waist and drew her to him for a deep kiss. She made his heart race anytime she was near. But seeing her in the deep blue satin dress which clung to her figure did more than that to him. He seriously considered sending Jess on ahead so that he and Beth could have some privacy.

Jess was happy to see Slim and Beth so in love with each other. It amused him to see the stoic rancher turn into putty at his wife's touch, to see his partner beam with pride when he held his son. Marriage had certainly changed Slim, but only for the better.

Jess thought he'd found his mate in Doreen, but strangely didn't feel bad now it had ended. He wasn't looking for any entanglement, deciding that perhaps he just wasn't marriage material. He was content to be focusing on running the ranch, back to being Slim's partner and working on the expansion plans. At least this is what he told himself. He didn't remember answering Slim's question or even getting dressed to go to the Saturday night dance. He found himself riding alongside the buggy as they made their way into Laramie. Slim and Beth would drop Nathan off at Mrs. Maters for the night while Jess took the buggy and Traveler down to the livery.

The dance was in full swing when Jess joined the crowd. He groaned when he saw the twittering group of young ladies in the corner. He wasn't vain but knew they were most likely discussing him and arguing over who got to dance with him first – forgetting it was up to him to ask. No matter which girl he asked, someone would get mad. He just shook his head at the thought. He was beginning to wish he had not come to the dance.

Jess was contemplating his first move, which included a hasty exit, when he heard a voice beside him say, "Don't tell me the great Jess Harper is afraid of a few women." He was relieved to see Brianna at his elbow. In spite of everything, he just didn't feel up to warding off a bunch of Mrs. Jess Harper wannabes. Jess looked around for Edward Jacobs, assuming he had escorted Brianna to the dance.

"Are you alone or waiting for someone?" Jess asked.

"Who? Edward? He's not here." She said. "At least not here with me. He only took me to dinner a couple of times. He's courting Doreen now." Her knowing smirk made him smile. She seemed to know what he was thinking. Gallantly, he offered her his hand and led her out onto the dance floor. Dancing with her, he was able to forget about everything and everyone, and just enjoy dancing. Brianna was light on her feet and moved with him effortlessly. He was sorry when the dance ended. He thanked her, watching as she moved away, across the dance floor.

To avoid the overly eager pool of ladies, Jess danced with some of the widows and older women who were without dance partners. Ever the charmer, he made them laugh with his stories and they appreciated the opportunity to dance with a proper gentleman. When it came time for Lady's Choice, a line of women besieged Jess. He would barely get a few dance steps in before the next girl cut in. He was surprised when Brianna cut in. They were near the door and, with her conspiratorial nod towards it; he took the opportunity to dance right out of the dance hall. Once outside, they broke apart and walked hand in hand a ways to where it was quieter. Jess didn't realize he was holding her hand until they stopped under the trees.

"Looks like I owe you again." Jess said, turning so they were face to face.

"You looked like you could use a helping hand." She laughed. "Boy, they really have their caps set for you, don't they!" she exclaimed.

"Aw, it's kinda tiresome; like I'm some prize turkey or somethin'. If it ain't someone's ma trying to set me up with their daughter, it's some gal thinkin' I'm exciting because of my past or someone who thinks I need fixing." He looked down at their still joined hands, letting go regretfully. "Truth is I ain't much of a prize right now; still got my demons to battle."

"I know." She said quietly. He gave her a sharp, almost guarded look before her eyes met his, as she continued. "You forget. Doreen may have been your nurse, but you were in my house. I saw you struggle every day, fighting to live. No man who has gone through what you did, who battles that hard, comes out on the other side unscathed. You carry scars upon your body. Your scars are of no consequence. I have seen them. They do not define whom you are, only what has happened to you. You are strong inside. . ." She lightly patted his chest, over his heart. ". . . Where it counts; you will be okay if you just give it time."

Jess was no longer listening. He tried and failed to remember where he had heard those words before. He was mesmerized by her voice, how soft yet strong it was; how it soothed his jangled nerves. Normally in total control of any situation, he now found himself unsure as he cupped her face with his hands, slowly, haltingly moving in to brush her lips with his. The kiss, which started out as a gentle exploration of her lips, deepened until he thought himself drowning in her essence. His arms slid lower around her, drawing her closer to him, trapping her hands between them as she clung to his vest. She melted into him, reciprocating eagerly. Her fingers slid down his chest, tracing a trail across his ribs until her arms were around him, hands caressing his back intimately; urging him to hold her tighter as her touch ignited a fire in his blood. He had kissed many women, savored the pleasures of willing females; but had never felt like he felt at this moment.

Jess reluctantly broke the kiss and sighed. He pressed his forehead to hers. "I shouldn't ought a done that. I'm sorry."

"I'm not." She smiled at his confused look. "I haven't been kissed in so long I forgot what it felt like. I'm a grown woman with a child, not some lovesick school girl. I can certainly decide whether I want to be kissed or not."

"Child?" he said confused.

She drew back enough to look up at him. "Yes, Katie."

"Katie?" he repeated.

"Yes, I thought you knew." She paused, seeing the shocked look on his face. "Oh my gosh, you really didn't know. You thought Doreen was Katie's mother."

He could only nod as the information sunk in. Then his mind put it all together – the words about the scars, the presence he'd felt without seeing, the touch he never recoiled from and the voice he craved. The things, no – the woman - he had unconsciously sought, was standing right in front of him. He pulled her into his arms, kissing her hungrily, as if he had suddenly found his lifeline, his purpose in life.

Behind them, hidden in the shadows, Doreen seethed. Jess had made it clear he wasn't going to marry her. Edward was only a convenience, a poor substitute for Jess Harper. Brianna owned the house they lived in. Now it looked like Brianna was also going to have Jess Harper – and own part of the ranch. It wasn't fair. Hiring Granger had been a mistake; she had acted in haste, assuming she and Jess were over, not knowing he would come back and give her another opportunity.

Seeing the way he kissed Brianna, she knew he would never be hers. If she couldn't have him, then no one was going to have him. She needed a better plan for getting even with Jess Harper. However, why should Brianna get everything? She'd make them both pay. She deserved to have something for herself and eliminating one Brianna McConnell would give her access to the McConnell money. Even if Katie inherited everything, she would need someone to administer the estate – namely her aunt Doreen. Moreover, the little brat could always meet an untimely accident. After all, kids were accident-prone. Yes, that would do quite nicely. She began to formulate a new plan.

_**JESS COURTS BRIANNA**_

Slim and Beth were a little surprised when Jess began courting Brianna. By now, they knew Brianna was Katie's mother. How they had gotten that mixed up is a mystery. The only thing they could figure was that, in the early days of Jess' recovery, they only saw Doreen and Katie. It was much later when anyone was introduced to Brianna. Somehow, discussions never got around to anyone's relationship to each other. Then again, everyone's only concern had been for Jess.

After evening chores, Jess would often ride into town to see Brianna. Sometimes he would take her to dinner, sometimes just go for a walk or buggy ride. On Sundays, he would bring Brianna and Katie out to the ranch. When he wanted privacy, he would use his house, but most often, they would share at least part of the afternoon with Beth and Slim. Katie adored Nathan and the two got along well.

Jess began teaching Katie how to ride, promising he would find her "just the right horse" to be her very own. Brianna was a good rider so the three of them would often saddle up and go for a ride around the ranch. Brianna would ride the buckskin mare Jess had given her and he would ride one of the young stock he was finishing training. Jess always saddled Traveler for Katie, trusting his gelding with her safety.

Upon returning, Katie would spoil Traveler with apples and brush him until his coat shined. He would follow her around without a lead and stood patiently for countless hours of the little girl loving on him. While he was still Jess' mount for ranch chores, if Katie was anywhere around, it was obvious he was all hers.

Slim started ribbing Jess about losing his horse to a little girl. Jess suffered the teasing good heartedly, secretly pleased knowing Katie would always be safe on Trav - even though he felt his faithful horse was a traitor after all the years they had spent together.

People close to Jess watched as he slowly changed. With Brianna, he could be the person they all knew he was – kind and caring;, he didn't need to hide that side of him from the world anymore. Oh sure, Jess was still Jess – he'd get into fistfights in town, still rode posse and deputized for Mort. But with Brianna, there was a tenderness not seen before. He worshiped the ground she walked on – and she felt the same about him. Jess had finally found love.

_**JESS ASKS SLIM ABOUT MARRIAGE**_

Jess was sitting out on the porch watching the sun sink behind the horizon. He was so deep in thought he didn't notice when Slim joined him. They sat in companionable silence as the evening darkened.

"Slim." Jess broke the silence.

"Ya, Jess."

"I want to marry Brianna."

"What's stopping you?"

"Slim." Jess hesitated. "Slim, I ..." He was struggling with whatever he was trying to say. Slim waited patiently, knowing it would come out eventually.

"I don't know how to be married. Don't know what's involved; what makes it right. Except for you and Beth, I ain't hardly seen any good marriages. I've been alone since I was 15; no one to look out for, only taking care of myself. I don't know if I can even be a good husband." Jess was eternally grateful for the darkness so Slim couldn't see his embarrassment. Slim was silent so long Jess thought he wasn't going to answer.

"That's not totally true, Jess." Slim began. "For someone who claims to have no one to look out for, you've certainly done your fair share of it. Look at all the things you've done for us here on the ranch – clear back to when Jonesy was here. You always looked out for us, had our backs, protected us; sometimes nearly costing you your life. Look at how you took care of Francie when she needed you. Then there are the things you think no one knows about – like the split wood, which mysteriously showed up at Widow Jenkins's place one winter. The chores you do for Widow Larson in exchange for baked goods. The beef the butcher delivered to Mrs. Wilkinson when her husband got hurt and couldn't provide for them. By the way - the cost comes out of your share of the profits." They both grinned, Jess shaking his head at being caught out.

"I'm not sure I can even describe being married." Slim continued on. "My ma and pa were two separate people but together as one; a long-term partnership building a life together – if that makes any sense. It wasn't always smooth, they argued, but they always worked it out. They were everything to each other –friend, confidante, lovers, and other things I just can't put into words. I think it's why she died so soon after he passed; she couldn't live without him."

Jess nodded his understanding, forgetting Slim couldn't see him in the darkness.

"What do you, the two of you, want for the future? Have you talked about that?"

"Ya, kinda. She doesn't need or want much. Her husband left her well enough off that, if she stayed single, she won't have to work at all if she didn't want to – at least not for a while. She owns the house in town. She can sew and cook. She could easily make a living doing either of those if she wanted. She said she'd like to own a restaurant or bakery. But what she said she wanted. . ." Jess paused, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "What she said she wanted more than anything else was to be a wife again. To marry a good man who loved her and Katie. Someone to make a home for; where they'd be happy just because they were together. A man who would support her whether she wanted to open a business or chose to stay home. Said she didn't need a protector, she could take care of herself; just wanted the love of a good man." There was a tiny pause. "Slim, I ain't good enough for her."

"What makes you say that?" Slim was shocked.

"Well, just look at me." Jess began. "I'm a gun slinger turned rancher. I got more scars on my body than I can count. My past doesn't stay in my past. And I don't even know what it takes to be a good husband."

"You haven't been a gunslinger in a good many years. Still a fast gun – certainly. But that's not where your head is anymore. You've settled down, think things through – you've changed. You now have the mindset of a rancher – that's what you are now – and a pretty darned good one too. Look at what we've done over the years. That's partly you, pard, because of you and your work and ideas, this has become our reality. A very nice one I might add. Scars, the physical ones at least – well, she's already seen those when you were - well, you know - so don't think that's a problem. And if you have mental scars you're still working through, she knows about those too – you told me so yourself. Your past is just that – past. Sure, some things might jump up and bite you again. But if she isn't willing to face them with you, to be at your side, you need to think on it again.

There is no "book" to tell us how to be husbands. It's something we have to work out for ourselves with the wives we choose and who choose us. It's the life we build together; the life we choose to make. Sometimes it isn't the easiest thing, especially if we choose independent, free spirited, thinking women. They'll turn our lives upside down and when it all shakes out, we're glad they did.

When I married Beth, I had to rethink what I thought about what makes a marriage. As you know, she inherited the General Store. I had never thought about having a wife who owned something of her own. I always figured my wife would be just that – my wife, here at the ranch just like my ma and pa. Some of the married men told me to make her sell the store; what she owned was mine, her money was my money. I thought about it. But then I realized I had fallen in love with a woman who was strong enough to take on the challenge of running a store – something she had never done before – and did it successfully mind you. The store wasn't mine to have any say over – even if she was my wife. The money she made wasn't mine to take away from her – which is how I looked at it. I'm actually proud of what she has accomplished. I fell in love with her because she was strong and independent. I am not any less of a man or husband because my wife owns a store or makes money. Instead, her owning the store and my owning the ranch brought us together in ways I'd never imagined. Everything she does, she does because she chooses to do so. She chooses our marriage, us as a couple, over everything else, just as I do. I don't know how else to explain it."

"Seems like you explained it pretty darn good." Jess replied.

Slim stood up, moving towards the door.

"Say, Slim – how'd you learn so much about being married?

Slim turned, grinning, "Mort." He said simply. "I spent a lot of nights talking to Mort."

They both chuckled at that.

_**JESS TALKS WITH KATIE**_

A few days later, Jess, Brianna and Katie went for a ride down by the lake. Jess had decided to ask Brianna to marry him and was looking for the right opportunity to do so. Leaving the horses under the shade of the big oak tree, Jess and Katie walked along the shoreline. Jess looked back to see Brianna busy spreading out the picnic blanket and arranging the lunch they had brought.

"Katie, I got something to ask you." Jess said

"Oh?"

"What would you think if I asked your momma to marry me? Would you be okay with that?"

"What's it mean to be married, Jess?" Katie asked innocently. "I hardly remember my pa. It's been just me and momma for a long time."

Jess hadn't expected to need to explain himself and it gave him pause. He leaned against a convenient rock before he answered. "Well, I reckon it means that we – you, your momma and me become a family. Sorta like Slim, Beth and Nathan are family. You'd come live with me at the ranch. She'd be my wife and you'd be my daughter. I'd be your daddy and take care of you all."

"But momma doesn't need anyone to take care of her. She's real good about taking care of herself and me too." Katie answered somewhat bewildered, innocent eyes searching Jess' face for an answer.

Jess was momentarily flustered.

"Sweetie, when a man loves a woman and her children, it's just natural for him to want to protect them and take care of them. It's the way it is out here. What if I said I loved your momma? When two people love each other and want to be together all the time, they get married. And, because you are Brianna's daughter, I also love you and want all of us to be together."

"So, you'd be marrying me too?" she asked hopefully.

Jess was starting to sweat, and his face was flushed. The conversation wasn't going exactly as he had planned, and he wasn't about to start explaining the facts of life to an eight-year-old.

"Yes, and no." He said. "There's the love a man has for a woman, someone he wants to be his wife. And there is the love of a daddy for his children. Believe me Katie, I love you as if you were my own. When I marry your momma, we all become one family. That's what I want - us to be a family."

While Jess was speaking, Katie had taken both of his hands in hers and, standing toe to toe, leaned back, and swayed lightly back and forth, never taking her eyes off his face.

"What would I call you? She asked.

Jess thought on that for a moment. "Well, I guess you could call me anything you want. You call me Jess now. You could stick with that. But maybe one day, when the time is right, when you feel it is okay, you'll call me your pa or your dad or daddy. Whatever would make you happy."

Now it was Katie's turn to think on it. "Can I call you Poppa?"

Jess smiled at that. Kneeling down to eye level he said. "I'd like that very much." Then putting his finger to his lips as if shushing her, he said "But not right now. I gotta ask your ma to marry me first – and she has to say yes. I'm gonna ask her today; can you keep it a secret until then?"

Katie mimicked his shushing motion, a delighted grin on her face. Hand in hand, they started back towards where Brianna had spread the picnic blanket. Brianna looked up as they approached. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of the tall, dark haired rancher striding along holding the hand of her laughing, skipping daughter. She knew about his background as a gun fighter. She really didn't understand what that meant. She knew it had something to do with being paid to use his gun or even just the necessity of shooting someone to stay alive. She had seen the scars on his body when he had been hospitalized. She couldn't even conceive the violence that once ruled his life – not when she was seeing the gentle man she had come to know.

Katie chatted merrily as they consumed the sandwiches they had brought. Dinner completed, Jess asked Katie if she would mind cleaning up, saying it was Brianna's turn for a walk before returning home. She started to protest, crossing her arms with a petulant look upon her face. Then she caught Jess' wink and smiled, readily agreeing to his request. Even though she was as good as her word, folding the napkins and blanket to be put away, she watched as Jess and Brianna walked along the shore just as he had walked with her. He even stopped at the same rock. Katie squirmed in anticipation. Golly, it was taking Jess an awful long time to ask her mother one simple question. She really hoped her mother would say yes to Jess' marriage proposal. She didn't want her mom to be lonely anymore; and she really wanted Jess as a daddy. It was all she could do to not shout in joy when she saw her mother wrap her arms around Jess and kiss him. She ran to them as they walked back towards her, grabbing both Brianna and Jess around their waists. It was hard to tell which of the three was more overcome with emotion as they shared a soon-to-be a family hug.

Slim and Beth knew something was up just by the way the trio entered the house. Hand in hand, the three of them were grinning ear to ear. Beth took one look at Brianna, who nodded, and then squealed in delight; wrapping her future sister-in-law in a congratulatory bear hug.

Slim and Jess escaped to the relative safety of the porch. They wanted to be well away from the hugging, dancing, squealing, and now wedding planning females.

"So ya did it, huh?" Slim asked.

Jess couldn't quite look at his buddy, his face flushed. "Ya, I finally did it." He looked at Slim then. "I was afraid she'd say no, but she didn't. Gosh, Slim, I'm going to be married and have a family of my own. Wow." He shook his head, surprised at himself and how his life was about to change.

"'bout time" came Slim's reply, accompanied by a friendly shoulder slug before he lit out for the barn, Jess in hot pursuit.

_**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**_

Thanks to Mose, it didn't take long for the news of Brianna and Jess' engagement to reach Laramie. The town gossips quickly spread the tale of how the gun fighter was "tamed" by a gentle woman. It was even juicier gossip when the re-telling had Jess dropping Doreen in favor of her sister in law – a woman with a child no less. The women in town quickly separated into two separate "camps" – those who loved the gunman tamed by a gentle woman story and those who felt Jess had done Doreen wrong.

Jess caught the brunt of displeasure from the society ladies. How dare he callously dismiss all that Doreen had done for him when he needed care, to take up with another woman? Everyone conveniently forgot Doreen had been paid for looking after him.

True to his nature, Jess ignored all the gossip; although he did find it discomforting when directly and publicly confronted by the more genteel ladies of the town. He was quick to inform them he didn't give a fig about their opinion. This, of course, had them cackling and storming off with their noses in the air, each voicing their opinion how Doreen was lucky to have escaped marrying the horrible gun fighter. Jess shook his head. He'd been part of the Relay Station for several years; yet there were still people in Laramie who wouldn't let him forget his past. Of course, his very public trial hadn't done anything to help people forget his past. It just didn't seem to matter that he'd been absolved of all wrong doing.

"Just ignore them ole biddies," Slim said as he plopped a bag of grain down onto the buckboard. "They ain't got nothing better to do than gossip."

Jess shook his head sadly. "Yeah, I know. I just hope they aren't harassing Brianna." He said as he added his bag of grain to the pile.

"Hey, if you want to start tying this down, I'll go get the last bag and then I'll buy you a beer." Slim said, clapping Jess on the back sympathetically. Jess nodded as Slim disappeared into the store and turned to begin his task.

He noticed Walt and Seth Simmons had moved from the sidewalk and were leaning against the buckboard. They were known troublemakers who had never worked a day in their lives.

"Hey, Walt" said Seth loudly, even though they were right next to each other. "Looky here, we got us a real live tamed gun fighter. Wonder if he knows how to use that gun of his anymore." "Probably not" answered Walt. "I heard tell he don't even fight anymore." Jess clenched his teeth ignoring them. Seth sauntered around the buckboard, stopping at the end near Jess. He looked Jess up and down, a sneer on his face.

"Bet he's so tame, he won't do nothing if I do this," he said. As he spoke, Seth drew a knife from his boot and slashed one of the bags open, allowing the contents to spill out into the dirt. He purposely jostled it, forcing the grain out faster.

Before he knew it, Seth had landed on his back in the street, an angry Jess Harper moving in on him. Walt jumped into the fray, grabbing Jess' arms in an attempt to hold him. Jess threw his head back, breaking Walt's nose while stomping on his instep, making him momentarily loosen his grip. It was all Jess needed as he swung around and landed a punch, which sent Walt sprawling in the dirt alongside his brother. Both men got up and headed for Jess who was in battle stance, prepared to take them on. Neither of them saw Slim leap from the sidewalk, his long legs vaulting him over the buckboard to tackle Walt. Jess quickly knocked out Seth. Satisfied his man was down too, Slim stood to help Jess. From the corner of his eye, Jess saw Walt's hand move towards his gun. Jess yelled "Slim, look out!" as he himself dived, drew and shot within the blink of an eye. A moment later, Walt Simmons lay in the dirt clutching his right shoulder.

Mort shoved his way through the crowd that had gathered. He quickly assessed the situation, aided by the noisy input of a dozen witnesses. It didn't take much to understand what had happened. He hauled the two Simmons brothers off to jail. He'd figure out the charges later. Right now, he needed to get them off the street.

Jess stooped to pick up his hat. As he straightened, he happened to glance across the street. Brianna stood there, a horrified look upon her face. As their eyes met, she turned from him, her shoulders rigid as she walked away. It only took him a couple steps to catch up with her. As he cupped her elbow, she jerked away from him, turning on him with fear and anger in her voice.

"You call yourself a rancher? Looked more like the gun fighter you claim to have left behind. You could have killed him." She spat at him. "Or worse, he might have killed you or Slim. . . how could I ever have thought this would work? I can't have that kind of danger around Katie." She looked him up and down with an icy glare. "I'll thank you to not come around again." She walked away, leaving a speechless, bewildered, and heartbroken Jess standing alone on the sidewalk.

It was an angry Jess who stalked across the street where he wordlessly hopped aboard Traveler. He put spurs to his horse, galloping out of town; leaving Slim to take the buckboard back to the ranch.

By the time Slim arrived home, Jess was gone. Beth was beside herself, knowing something bad had happened. Jess had said nothing to her when he came in; just packed his bedroll and left. Slim explained the altercation in town and Brianna's reaction to the shooting. They sat at the table, silently contemplating what this had done to Jess. Since Jess had only taken his bedroll and not all his clothes nor any food, Slim was sure he had merely gone to the north line cabin to be alone and "lick his wounds" as he had done many times before. It had always been Jess' sanctuary when he needed to be alone. He hadn't sought refuge there since coming back to the ranch, and him doing so now, worried Slim. He decided to give Jess a few days before he'd go out to the cabin to check on him.

Almost a week later, Slim and Beth heard the sound of multiple horses cantering down Stagecoach Lane. Slim ran out to open the gate to the pasture, watching as Jess drove several mustangs before him. Jess jumped down and closed the gate, thumping Slim on the back as he excitedly described having found the horses grazing out by the lake and they'd be good mounts for their Army contract. As Slim eyed Jess, he could see his partner had lost weight in the week he'd been gone. It bothered him that Jess' exuberance seemed forced, but he had at least come back home on his own. Slim was content to accept that for now.

Jess made one more attempt to talk with Brianna, only to be spurned again. After the failed encounter, Beth and Slim saw a new, hard edge to Jess. The kindness and gentleness which had appeared with him loving Brianna and Katie seemed to be buried under a new protective crust. They worried the hurt was so deep Jess may never recover from the heartbreak. Even Nathan sensed the change in his favorite uncle and avoided him, crying if Jess so much as picked him up.

Jess worked tirelessly at breaking the new mounts and doing other ranch work. Some days he spent more time in the dirt than atop the bucking horses, but he kept at it. He ignored it when he started having headaches again. He rarely ate and slept even less. Many nights, unable to sleep, he rode into town. Mort would often find him at the back table of the saloon, a bottle of whiskey with only a single, filled shot glass sitting in front of him. But, as he had done in his gunslinger days, Jess never got drunk; drinking only one shot of whiskey or glass of beer. Mort could see Jess reverting to the gunslinger persona he'd had when they first met, cold and controlled, untrusting of anyone - except maybe Slim. He worried about the man who had become like a son to him - the man whom he could count on to back his play. After a couple rowdy fistfights and one shoot out, the other cowboys gave Jess a wide berth. No one wanted to be responsible for crossing Jess Harper. On Jess' bad nights, he would sleep at Mort's house or even sleep a couple hours in a jail cell before getting up to head back to the ranch to work the mustangs. He looked rough, unkempt, and continued to lose weight.

The Simmons brothers were sentenced to thirty days in jail for disturbing the peace. Once they got out, odd things began to happen when Jess was in town. One night as Jess and Mort exited the saloon a shot rang out; the bullet hitting the framework of the open door. Jess shoved Mort back inside, drawing his own gun and seeking who or where the shot had come from. Nothing moved and no one was found to have fired the bullet. Another time, Jess' saddle girth was cut. If Jess hadn't been meticulous about inspecting his equipment, it could have resulted in a bad fall. Then there was the time the whiskey had made him ill, something which never happened to him. One of the wagon wheels came loose and fell off the wagon, spilling all the contents. Traveler unexplainably turned up lame when Jess went to fetch him; forcing Jess to borrow a horse from the livery. The horse was excitable, shying at shadows and noises along the road; nearly throwing Jess off more than once during the ride home.

Day was turning to early evening as Jess and Mort walked along the sidewalk towards the diner. Jess looked up to see Doreen and Brianna coming towards them. In spite of everything, he was hopeful that he could at least get a chance to speak to them. He also saw the group of rowdy cowhands galloping into town. Jess tensed when he saw the Simmons brothers among the cowhands; felt Mort's light but warning touch on his arm.

As if on cue, the cowhands started whooping it up, shooting into the air as they continued their gallop through town. Keeping his eyes on the Simmons', Jess realized they were not shooting into the air like the others but aiming directly at the occupants of the sidewalk. Mort had seen it too and had already taken cover, drawing his own weapon in defense. Doreen and Brianna seemed frozen in place as the Simmons brothers bore down on them. Jess yelled for them to get down. Ignoring his own safety, he ran towards them. He heard one of the women scream; saw them both fall to the sidewalk. Jess jumped from the sidewalk, using the hitching rail for leverage, and connected with Seth Simmons, taking him to the ground. Walt had pulled his horse around, gun still aimed, intent on shooting Jess. Mort's bullet knocked him out of the saddle before he could fire. Jess and Seth exchanged blows, one of which reeled Jess backwards, causing him to fall, striking his head against the hitching rail's post. Jess shook his head to clear it and struck back at Seth. A good right cross sent Seth to the ground where he lay knocked out.

Jess staggered to the sidewalk. His heart jumped into his throat when he saw the two women. Brianna was holding an injured Doreen. The bullet had hit her just above the heart and Jess knew there was nothing that could be done and little time left. Doreen was fighting the hold Brianna had on her. Her eyes were dark with anger as she switched her focus between Brianna and Jess, cursing them. It took a moment for Jess to realize what Doreen was saying, catching the very end as her life faded.

". . . Was supposed to be you…" Doreen said looking at Brianna. "You'd never get him." Then she turned to stare coldly at Jess. "Couldn't have you…no one have you…She had to die. Both die. . ." Jess hung his head as the words hit him. Now he understood everything that had happened - Granger, the grain incident with the Simmons brothers, and all the other accidents and mishaps. They were all part of this woman's vindictive obsession to own him. His eyes met Brianna's, but he only saw more fear reflected there.

He stood and staggered slightly as he walked back down the street to where Traveler was tied. He heard Brianna call after him as he mounted and rode away. He knew Mort would seek him out later. Right now, he just needed to get away from everyone before the blinding headache overtook him as his vision began to fade.

By the time Traveler stopped at the barn doors, Jess was hunched over his saddle horn and could barely see more than shadows. Feeling his way around, he led Traveler into his stall and unsaddled him. After feeding him, Jess sat down on a bale of hay and, closing his eyes, leaned against the post. When Jess didn't come into the house, Slim went out to the barn, finding him still sitting on the bale of hay.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked.

"Slim." Jess began but faltered. "Slim…I…I can't see."

"How? What happened? Why?" Slim stammered as he sat down beside Jess.

"Head …hurts."

"C'mon, let's get you into the house." Jess felt Slim helping him to stand, arms supporting him as Slim guided him. He passed out before reaching the kitchen door. Slim carried him into his bedroom and made him comfortable.

"I'm going for the doctor." Slim said to Beth. She nodded her agreement. Jess was pale and his breathing shallow. Neither of them knew what was wrong with Jess, but they knew it was serious.

Slim jerked the outside door open only to nearly collide with both Mort and Dr. Hanson.

"Where is he?" Dr. Hanson brushed past Slim and headed for Jess' bedroom, leaving a bewildered Slim standing in the open doorway.

"Mort – what's going on? How'd Doc know to come? I was just headed out to get him." Slim said as he ushered Mort inside and closed the door. Mort removed his hat and stepped into the living room shaking his head before finally looking sadly at Slim and saying. "It's a long story, son. Got any coffee?"

Before they could move to the table, they heard Jess vomiting and angry words being exchanged between him and the doctor. Slim and Mort moved to the bedroom door, concerned for both men.

"Jess, calm down." Dr. Hanson was trying to get Jess' attention and cooperation. "Jess, I know you can't see but I'm sure it's only temporary." Dr. Hanson reached into his bag and pulled out some bandages. "Hitting that hitching rail like you did put a good sized knot on the back of your head as well as a deep laceration. Your brain is swelling from the impact. It's pressing on your optic nerves. I need to bandage it and I'm going to cover your eyes. I don't want you straining to see. We'll leave them on for a few days while the swelling in your brain goes down." Then, looking at Slim he said. "Slim, give me a hand supporting Jess while I bandage him."Jess was too weak to protest, allowing Slim to support him while the doctor sutured the laceration and then applied the bandages to his head and eyes.

"Doc" Jess asked. "Will I be able to see again – I mean when the swelling goes down?"

Dr. Hanson thought for a moment before answering honestly. "I don't know, Jess. We won't know until all the swelling has gone down. It's going to take time. Just rest now, Jess. That's what you need – and some good nourishment. It'll all be okay, I promise." Jess lay back down against the pillows. He fidgeted - his arms and legs moving, unable to lie quietly. Although he tried to maintain his normal poker face, the others could easily see his pain and worry. Dr. Hanson patted Jess' arm companionably. "You'll be alright, boy. It'll just take a little time. But you gotta start taking better care of yourself. You can't keep taking blows to your head. One of these times it will kill you – especially if you haven't healed from all the other times. Time, Jess, please take the time to heal up right. "

"Well, I didn't plan this!" Jess exploded. "I didn't start no blamed fight, but I sure finished it. Them Simmons brothers ain't gonna bother no one else again." Then more quietly and sadly "and neither will Doreen." He placed both hands alongside his head. His outburst had set off his headache again.

"You want something for the pain?" Dr. Hanson asked.

"No."

Having expected Jess' typical answer, Dr. Hanson grinned wryly. He held up some packets of pain medication for the others to see and laid them on the nightstand. He knew either Beth or Slim would slip them into Jess' water glass, giving the cowboy the relief he would need to rest. Jess drifted off into a restless sleep, leaving the others to gather around the dining room table and explain the day's events.

As it turned out, Dr. Hanson had also been standing on the sidewalk when the cowhands had ridden into town. He had witnessed Jess' catapult over the hitching rail to land in the dirt with Simmons and saw Jess knocked backwards during the ensuing fight, hitting his head on the hitching rail post. He had also seen how Jess was unsteady and staggered immediately afterwards, even a little later when he walked towards his horse. It didn't take much for the doctor to surmise what had happened. He'd warned Jess numerous times about getting any more blows to the head. And, from what Mort had told him, the encounter wasn't the only trauma Jess had suffered; the mustangs had had their share of dumping him on his head. That's why he had followed Jess out to the ranch. He knew there might be complications after sustaining this last injury.

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

_**The next day . . .**_

Jess was lying on his bed with his back to the door when he felt her presence. He didn't have to hear her approach; he just knew she was there.

"Get out." He said.

"Jess …" Brianna began.

"I said GET OUT!" He crossed his arms across his chest, refusing to roll over or acknowledge her.

"Jess, I…I'm sorry."

"Did you hear me? I said get the hell out." He rolled over, dropping his feet to the floor as he stood up, one hand bracing himself against the bedpost. He stared with bandaged, unseeing eyes at where she stood in the doorway. Even with his eyes bandaged, he was intimidating. "Didn't take you long to find out I might be blind. I don't need your damn pity. Just get out."

"Jess, please" she pleaded "Let me explain."

"Explain what? You said you loved me, would marry me; that you didn't care about what I had been. I can't change what I was or how I lived. I never expected to live very long. But Slim gave me a chance to be something else, something better and I took it. I made a place for myself here, helped him build something good for both of us; for Beth and Nathan. Yes, I'm good with a gun; have had to be. But the first time you see me use it you turned your back on me, just like all them citizens of Laramie. Don't matter to you I was protecting Slim. And let me tell you one thing, it was my skill with a gun that saved your daughter." His bitterness was evident, his voice more raspy and deeper as he vented all his pent-up anger. Spent, he sank back down onto his bed, holding his head in his hands, braced against his knees. "I'll be just fine on my own. I don't need or want you. Now just get out and leave me alone." He heard her sob and felt her leave. He was immediately sorry, maybe should have heard what she had to say, but knew the damage was done. Despite the pain in his heart, he knew he still loved her, still wanted her. He flung himself back onto the bed, staring at the empty darkness behind the bandages covering his eyes.

Brianna stopped beside her buggy to wipe her tears away. She was unaware Beth had casually followed her outside until they were beside each other. Beth stood with her arms crossed, a serious set to her mouth.

"So, you're leaving, just like that?" Beth asked.

"He doesn't want me around."

"Do you love him?" Beth started a new tact.

"Yes."

"No, you don't." Beth answered immediately, secretly pleased at the shocked look upon Brianna's face.

"Why do you say that? Yes, I love him. I was going to marry him." Exclaimed Brianna

"Ya, that's the key word right there; WAS going to marry him." Beth continued bitterly. "You don't deserve him." Brianna's face drained of all color as Beth's stance changed. Beth angrily uncrossed her arms, standing with one hand on her hip, pointing towards the house with the other. She was going to make sure Brianna heard what she had to say.

"You have no idea who that man in there is; what he's gone through, what he'll go through for those he loves." Beth paced a half circle back and forth around Brianna, eyeing her up and down. Brianna swallowed convulsively, watching Beth watching her; not sure she liked where this conversation was going. "I know the gun man he was; the rancher he is - and I love them both because they are the same man. There is no one I'd rather have watching my husband's back than Jess Harper. All you see is a gunslinger. You don't even count the times he's been deputy for Mort or ridden on a posse. He was a sheriff while he was out in California. Did you even know that? No, all you see is the gunslinger. He hates killing. Did you know that? Every time he's had to kill, it has taken a little bit out of him. The man you fear because he is capable of taking a life is the same man who can gentle a horse, sees a miracle in the birth of a foal; finds wonderment when holding a tiny kitten and would give his life to protect a child." Beth barely paused to draw a breath.

"See that house on the hill?" Beth pointed towards Jess' finished house. "That was his dream. He's been on his own since he was fifteen years old. He did what he did to survive. All he's ever wanted was someone to trust and a home where he was welcome. He'd been betrayed by almost everyone he's known until he found Slim. Even I had to earn his trust. He had to choose to let me be part of his family.

He trusted you. He loved you. He chose you. For the first time in his life he was ready to make a commitment; to share his life with someone. And you threw him away, destroyed him; because you didn't trust him. You claim to love him, but you obviously don't. You claim to accept his past, but you didn't. He could have died any of those times he put himself on the line – saving Katie, defending Slim, riding with Mort, or any of the other things he has done to protect the people of this community – and even though this last incident could leave him permanently blind, he'd do it all over again without a second thought.

I didn't even have to have been there last night to know what he did. He was side by side with Mort, wasn't he?" She didn't wait for an answer. "And when he saw you and Doreen in the line of fire, he ran towards you, to protect you, didn't he?" Brianna was looking at the ground, nodding her head, tears dripping down her cheeks. "Like I said; you don't deserve him." Beth gave a dismissive, curt nod and re-entered the house, closing the door behind her, not waiting to see Brianna drive away.

Beth sagged limply against the front door; drained of all emotion. She looked up to see Slim standing before her. His feet were spread apart, arms crossed loosely over his chest, his head cocked to the side with a slightly amused and bewildered look upon his face as he looked at her. "Soooooo" he said, softly dragging out the word as he rocked back and forth on his heels, "Do you feel better now, Momma Bear?" He couldn't help but chuckle.

Beth laughed in embarrassment while covering her face with her hands. "I don't know what got into me." She said. "I just couldn't let her get away with treating Jess the way she did."

Slim reached out and drew her to him, encompassing her in a warm hug. She wrapped her arms around him, snuggling into his embrace. She felt him kiss the top of her head as they gently swayed to the mutual rhythm of their hearts.

Jess' convalescence took longer than Dr. Hanson expected. The cumulative blows to Jess' head combined with the resulting swelling, was slow to diminish. However, as Jess was forced to take it easy and do virtually nothing, the swelling receded and his eyesight began returning to normal. He was restless and surly. It saddened both Slim and Beth to see him back-sliding into his self-protective shell. Slim tried to talk to him, but Jess would have none of it.

Finally cleared to resume all normal activity, Jess mounted Traveler and headed for town. On the way, he stopped at the church cemetery. He didn't know why, but he made his way to Doreen's grave. He stood there for a while, staring down at the marker, feeling sad over the events which had led up to her death. He hadn't been able to save her and, even though he had been both angry and laid up at the time, he regretted being unable to comfort Brianna and Katie when they needed him.

_**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**_

_**EDWARD RE-ENTERS BRIANNA'S LIFE**_

No one was surprised when Edward Jacobs was at Brianna's side throughout Doreen's funeral. They consoled each other, each grieving the loss of their loved one. Afterwards, it was not uncommon to see Edward and Brianna together in town – shopping, eating out and even going on picnics, although no one thought it was strange when Katie did not accompany them.

As far as she was concerned, Katie didn't like Edward. She didn't like him taking what she considered Jess' place in their lives. For the most part, Edward ignored her very existence. He didn't talk to her like Jess had; didn't teach her things and didn't make her laugh. But more importantly, she did not feel safe with Edward; not like she did when she was with Jess. She had heard the adults talking bad about Jess; how he was sometimes violent, even killed people. But Jess always made her feel safe. When Granger had kidnapped her, she knew Jess would come for her; do everything in his power to protect her. She didn't understand why Jess had suddenly dropped out of their lives. Even though her mom had tried to explain his absence, Katie didn't understand the "why" of it and missed him so bad her heart sometimes hurt something awful. If Brianna thought of Jess at all, she showed no sign of it.

Edward was a comfort to Brianna, and she found herself starting to respond to him. He asked nothing of her except her company on various outings. He was completely supportive of her opening a bakery, even helping with the building repairs where he could. He was not handy with a hammer and saw, but he became a trusted financial advisor to Brianna. His land dealings, as he explained, had given him a background in handling money wisely.

With Edward's business and monetary guidance, Brianna opened her bakery. It met with instant success. The restaurants and hotels were happy to purchase bread rather than take the time to make it themselves (or worry whether their ever-changing cooks were capable of turning out a decent biscuit or bread). Single men and others who drifted through the town sought out the fresh, home baked goodies she offered. After weeks on the trail and no place to cook, cowboys were grateful to find something other than corn dodgers, beans and jerky to eat. When Brianna added pastries, pies and cakes to her offerings, business really took off.

Fall turned into winter and winter into spring. Through it all, Edward was at her side; guiding her decisions and investments, making sure she signed the contracts he garnered for her. Before long, Brianna had contracts to provide biscuits and bread plus desserts to all the eating establishments in and around Laramie. Some of the larger ranches even hired her to supply extra food at gatherings and special occasions. All the new business necessitated hiring additional help. Edward took charge of the hiring process, deciding upon who would be hired. Then, since there were additional hands involved, Edward made sure Brianna wrote down all of her recipes and taught their workers the proper processes.

It was late one spring afternoon when Edward and Brianna sat down with Katie. Hand in hand, they told her that they had gotten married and Edward was going to adopt her. Katie jumped up screaming "Nooooo", tears streaming down her face. She evaded her mother's outstretched hands and ran crying out the front door. Almost immediately, they heard a commotion outside - a woman screamed, men yelled and swore, harnesses jangled as they heard the afternoon stage's brakes being solidly applied followed by the sound of steel wrapped wheels skidding along the street's hard packed dirt surface. Then there was silence.

Jess was at the edge of town when he saw Katie shoot out into the middle of the street where she suddenly stopped, frozen in place. Jess' heart flip flopped when he heard a woman scream and saw the noon stage bearing down on Katie. He spurred Traveler, who snorted at the sudden jab but jumped into action. He didn't need to urge his mount to go faster; Traveler was already lengthening his stride, responding to the urgency he felt in his rider. As horse and rider got closer, Jess leaned out of his saddle, scooping Katie off the ground and up into his arms just before the stage horses came to snorting, rearing stop; the wheels of the stagecoach in the spot where she had been standing.

Katie felt the horse beneath her slow to a walk. Feeling secure in the strong arms holding her, Katie looked up to see Jess' face. She joyously wrapped her arms around his neck so tight she was practically choking him. Tears streamed down her face as he held her close. "Why'd you stop loving me?" she sniffled against his neck. Jess fought back his own tears. Bending his head so they were cheek to cheek he whispered. "I never stopped loving you, little one, never. But your mom and me; we didn't love each other enough to make it through our first hard time. I'm sorry. I never intended to hurt you."

"I love you Jess." His response was to hug her tightly.

By then he had turned Traveler to return to the McConnell house. Traveler pranced sideways up Main Street, tossing his head, full of himself. The crowd's murmurs followed them, amazed at the rescue they had just witnessed. Jess stopped in front of the house. He eyed Edward's arms around Brianna, comforting, consoling her. Edward met Jess' eyes with a frosty glare. Without so much as a 'thank you', Edward stepped forward.

"I'll thank you to put my daughter down this very minute." Edward exclaimed stuffily. Shocked by the statement, Jess didn't move for a second or so. With Katie's arms locked around his neck, Jess was forced to dismount, still holding the crying child.

"What do you mean 'your' daughter?" Jess queried; looking back and forth between Edward and Brianna.

"It's simple, Mr. Harper," Answered Edward, a slight sneer and obvious delight in his voice. "Brianna and I were married yesterday afternoon. I'm going to adopt Katie. She'll carry my name. She'll go to the finest boarding schools back east as soon as it can be arranged."

With that, Edward reached out to grasp Katie's arm. She jerked it back, locking it around Jess' neck again. "Why, you undisciplined child; they'll teach you manners at boarding school. In the meantime, I'll teach you to respect your elders." He raised his hand to slap Katie only to find it imprisoned in Jess' iron grip. Edward felt a chill run through him as he stood toe to toe with the man his wife had been in love with; and who, he was sure, was still in love with.

There was no mistaking the dark flash in Jess's eyes; the underlying threat in his voice. "You lay one finger on Katie and you will regret it. Step-father or not, you touch her, and you'll have me to deal with."

Roughly releasing Edward's arm, Jess knelt and set Katie's feet on the ground. He gently pried her arms from around his neck, holding her small hands in his large ones. Making eye contact with the sniffling child he said. "You go on now, honey. Edward's your daddy now. You owe him respect for no other reason than he's your daddy. You have a good life now, you hear? I gotta go." He signaled for Brianna to take Katie. Brianna pulled Katie against her, holding her in her arms, keeping her from going back to Jess.

Katie watched as Jess mounted and turned away. She broke from her mother's arms, running after Jess, screaming his name. Jess kicked Traveler into a gallop, leaving without looking back; completely forgetting why he had been headed into town only minutes ago. He was several miles down Laramie Road when he became aware Traveler was breathing hard and starting to tire. Swearing at himself for neglecting his horse, Jess pulled Traveler to a walk and let him set his own pace the rest of the way home.

Jess fed Traveler and was half way through grooming him when the tears began falling. He leaned on his horse for support, his head buried in his arms. He straightened when he heard the barn door open.

"Jess." Slim called. "You alright? You weren't gone long."

"Ya, Slim. Everything's fine." Jess answered his voice thick; glad his back was towards the door.

"Did you get the part you went after?"

"Naw, they didn't have it. Might be in tomorrow."

"Okay. Supper will be ready in a few minutes. You coming in?"

"Ya, Slim, you go ahead. I'll be right there." Jess' voice was raw with emotion. Slim was sure he heard his partner sniff and was positive he saw an arm swipe across his eyes. Whatever was eating Jess, he'd have to wait until Jess was ready to tell him. At the dinner table, both Beth and Slim noticed the wet mark across Jess' sleeve, his red rimmed eyes and lack of appetite, but said nothing.

News of Jess' heroic rescue of Katie arrived in the form of Mose driving the next morning's stage coach run. He was quick to show Slim the newspaper article, which also alerted him of Brianna's new marital status. Slim didn't need anyone to draw him a picture of what had upset his partner.

Several days later Slim was greeted by a very upset Beth when she returned from working at the General Store. He had seen her upset over many things, but not this controlled fury. She stalked through the house making sure Jess wasn't in hearing distance before confiding in Slim.

"He's beating her." Beth exclaimed. "They haven't been married a week and that rotten excuse of a husband is beating her, Slim!"

Slim tried to calm his wife while trying to figure out who 'she' was. Finally, he got her to answer him. "Edward…Edward's beating Brianna." Beth said in exasperation. Slim was taken aback, not sure what to say or do.

"What makes you say that?"

"Good Lord, Slim, I've got eyes, don't I?" She paced the floor before continuing. "Her face is bruised, and she's got a black eye; said she walked into a door. And her neck, Slim, there's bruises on her neck – you can't help but see them!"

"How did you . . .?"

"I went into the bakery to get some extra bread. I wouldn't have time to make any with having to work at the store this week so thought I'd stop in and buy some." Beth wiped her eyes and sniffled. Tear filled eyes looked up at Slim as she said in a hushed whisper "If Jess finds out, he'll kill Edward. And, unfortunately, it's none of our business...I just wish there was something we could do."

"I'll talk to Mort but I'm afraid you're right; there's nothing we can do."

They were right. Unless Brianna was willing to press charges or file for divorce, there was nothing that could be done to help her. Beth made it a point to stop in at the bakery whenever she was in town. It was quickly obvious Edward controlled Brianna. He hovered close by whenever she had customers and she was never alone in the bakery, nor was she allowed to venture anywhere without Edward as an escort.

On the few times Jess had set foot into the bakery, Brianna was not allowed to wait on him. Edward would edge Brianna behind the other clerks where he took great delight in showing his ownership of her, his hands roaming possessively and nuzzling her neck, uncaring they were in the public's view. Brianna stood resolutely, her body stiff in clear repugnance of her husband's overtures. Her sad eyes begged Jess to understand when Edward took her by the hand and drew her behind the door in the back.

A couple times Beth had suggested Brianna join her at the diner to enjoy a break from the stores and have lunch together. Edward had nixed the idea, stating she was needed at the bakery. Brianna quickly acquiesced to Edward's dictates. She stared at the floor, unable to meet Beth's eyes.

Jess was loading supplies into the wagon when he literally bumped into Edward and Brianna. Brianna was quick to look away but not before he saw the facial bruises her makeup didn't quite cover. He also noted the fierce grip Edward held on her arm as he dragged her away without a word. Jess stared after them, his heart breaking even more, if that was possible.

A few days later, Mose delivered a note to Jess at the relay station. He turned away when Mose tried to read over his shoulder. Jess's face grew angry, his jaw clenched, as he wadded the note into a ball, and shoved it into the burning well of the stove. Without a word he stalked out of the house. A few moments later he rode out of the yard.

Dr. Hanson answered the almost imperceptible knock at his back door. He motioned for Jess to be quiet as he led him into the recovery room at the back of his office. "She's been asking for you. She'll recover but you've only got a few minutes, Jess. I can't keep Edward away for long." He said, closing the door behind him as he left.

Jess swallowed the lump in his throat. Brianna lay in the bed before him. What he could see of her was covered in fresh bruises, her eyes sunken and blackened. One arm was bandaged. He didn't know if it was broken or not. He knelt beside the bed, grasping her hand, brushing his other hand gently across her forehead, trying to comfort her. She opened one eye, obviously relieved to see him.

"You came." She mumbled through split and swollen lips. Speaking was an effort. He tried to shush her, to save her energy. She moved uncomfortably and he wondered what all Edward had done to her. "I'm sorry, Jess. I made a terrible mistake. I had to tell you that before…before it was too late. The drawer…paper." She said feebly, indicating the nightstand. Puzzled, Jess opened the drawer and withdrew the paper, recognizing it as a legal document.

"If anything…if anything happens to me, you get custody of Katie." She stopped, swallowing hard as a tear rolled down her cheek. "It's legal. He'll fight you on it but it's legal. I know now you could never hurt her…us. I'm so sorry I listened to the wrong people. I should have trusted you from the beginning."

"Shhh. Doc says you're going to recover. You'll get a divorce. I'll take care of you – both of you. I was hurt here, inside." He said touching his heart, "but I never stopped loving you."

There was no warning as Edward burst through the door, rifle in hand. Still kneeling by the bed, Jess was unable to react quickly enough when Edward swung the gun like a club, spinning him backwards to lie motionless on the floor. Through his clouded senses, Jess heard Edward cursing Brianna as he dragged her from the doctor's bed and out the door. Dr. Hanson stumbled into the room, holding his handkerchief to the gash alongside his head. He knelt by Jess as he pushed himself up. He grasped Jess' arm, stopping him, as he moved to follow Edward. "Keep your head about you. He intends to kill you – and her."

"Get Slim – he's over in Mort's office." was all Jess said as he brushed the doctor's hand away and strode out of the office. He stepped outside in time to see Edward's buggy careening out of town; Brianna slumped against him. From the back seat, Katie was furiously beating on Edward before he reached back and struck her. She fell back onto the seat, unconscious.

Edward whipped the buggy horse unmercifully. He's seen Harper step out onto the sidewalk. He hadn't knocked the man out after all; barely slowed him down. He knew there would be no escaping the man's fury. He momentarily pondered how it might have been easier to be wanted for murder than to have Jess Harper on his trail. A sheriff's posse would tire of tracking him, but Jess Harper would never stop dogging his trail. His only escape would be to kill Harper. It was a job he would enjoy.

The buggy swayed and tipped dangerously as it rounded the curves in the road. Edward eyed the surrounding countryside, seeking a place where he could hide and bushwhack Harper. Spotting a rock outcropping, Edward pulled the horse to a skittering, rearing stop. He took only a moment to tie the horse before grabbing his rifle and the now conscious Brianna by the arm, dragging her up the slope with him; leaving Katie behind in the buggy.

He shoved Brianna down behind the outcropping. Barefoot and clothed only in the hospital gown the doctor had provided, she shivered in the afternoon air. Edward braced himself against the rocks, rifle pointed down the trail in anticipation. He was so intent on Jess' advance he forgot about Brianna until she screamed a warning. He backhanded her, threatening more as she cowered in fear. When he turned back to look for Jess, he could no longer see him.

Thanks to Brianna's warning, Jess was safe. He had dismounted and was working his way up the slope, hoping to stay out of Edward's line of sight. Edward was beginning to panic. He was well aware of Harper's reputation for tracking and fighting, not to mention being a deadly shot. Edward scrambled backwards, dragging Brianna with him. He stood with his back to the rocky edge overlooking a sheer drop off hundreds of feet deep. He held Brianna in front of him, knowing Harper would not shoot her and giving him no other target. Edward's hand was wrapped securely around Brianna's wrist, twisting her arm behind her. In his other hand he now held his revolver aimed towards his yet unseen adversary.

Jess eased around the edge of the outcropping, ducking back when he saw Edward standing on the precipice of the cliff. He willed his heart to slow, falling easily back into his quiet zone; the place where he was focused, aware of every sight and sound around him. Taking a deep breath, he stepped out into the clearing. He was aware of Edward's gun trained on him, the way he held Brianna protectively in front of him, and the drop behind them.

"You're a fool, Harper. You're a dead man and you don't even know it. You can't shoot me without hitting her. You'll have to kill her to get to me." Edward was panicking, grasping at straws to shake Jess's unyielding stare. "You know what it's like to make love to your woman and have her cry out for another man? It's Hell, Harper and I'm going to make sure you go there." He took another step closer to the edge of the cliff, dragging Brianna with him. "But then she never was much of a wife; were you my dear?" Keeping his eyes on Jess, he ran his tongue up her neck, nibbling at her ear, delighting in feeling her shiver in repulsion. "She may not have loved me, Harper. But I had her" He kissed her neck again, never taking his eyes off Jess. "I had her many times and in many ways – something you'll never have. If I go – she goes." He cast a look towards the ledge. Looking back at Jess he said "Now, drop your gun and let us walk out of here."

Jess knew if he complied, he was a dead man. Dying didn't bother him; he had no fear of it. His fear was what Edward would do to Brianna. He had no doubt Edward would eventually kill her. Saving Brianna was his only thought.

There was only one shot Jess could take to end this. If he missed, he'd kill Brianna. Even if his shot were true, he risked her falling over the edge with Jacobs. Without hesitation, Jess raised his gun. Brianna's eyes widened in fear at seeing the gun aimed in her direction. He had the distinct feeling of déjà vu as he asked Brianna: "Do you trust me?" Edward's hand tightened on Briana's arm, causing her to cry out when he increased the pressure. There was a barely perceptible nod before Brianna stopped pulling against Edward. She dropped her free hand and closed her eyes, forcing herself to stand absolutely still. Edward roared in fear and anger when he realized what she was doing; surrendering herself to Jess' kill shot. Two shots sounded as one. Edward lost his hold on Brianna and careened over the edge of the cliff as Brianna spun precariously, arms flailing, before falling safely to the cliff's ledge.

Horrified, Jess ran to where Brianna lay. He used his neckerchief to wipe away the blood, relieved when he realized she was unharmed. Relief turned into worry when he saw she had struck her head on a rock as she fell. He looked over the cliff to confirm Edward would no longer be a problem. From the other side of the slope he heard Mort and Slim calling his name. He answered, letting them know it was safe to come up. He turned to greet them, only to have his legs give out, sinking him to his knees. His left arm hurt. He looked down to see blood dripping off his fingers, sleeve now soaked a dark crimson red. He hadn't even felt Edward's bullet. He cradled his arm, fighting to stand as Mort and Slim appeared beside him.

Slim carried Brianna down the slope while Mort supported Jess as they descended. Brianna had not regained consciousness, which concerned all the men. Worried about the extent of her injuries, it was decided Slim would take Brianna in the buggy and leave right away. Precious time was lost as Jess argued he should be the one to take Brianna, finally giving in to reason since he couldn't safely handle the buggy one handed. Mort would see to Jess's arm and they would follow along more slowly. Upon seeing Jess, Katie had locked her arms around his waist, refusing to let go; not even to ride back to town with her mother. She stayed behind to return with Jess and Mort.

It was late evening when Slim began banging and kicking on Dr. Hanson's office door. Dr. Hanson was surprised to see Slim carrying a blanket wrapped body. "Oh dear, what's the boy done now?"

"Not Jess – It's Brianna." He said as he carried her into the recovery room. Dr. Hanson shooed him out into the waiting room while he examined Brianna. Tired over the stressful day, Slim sat down in the overstuffed chair. He stretched his long legs out in front of him and was soon fast asleep. When Mrs. Hanson came down to check on Dr. Hanson's newest patient, she paused long enough to cover Slim with a blanket and slip a pillow beneath his head. She rested her hand on his shoulder, smiling as the young rancher settled himself more comfortably but stayed asleep.

When Dr. Hanson entered his waiting room a couple hours later, he was surprised at the view before him. He had expected to see Slim. He didn't expect to see a sleeping Jess ensconced in the other stuffed chair. A blanketed and sleeping Katie lay across his chest, her head on his shoulder, arms locked around his neck; securely wrapped in Jess'protective arms. He frowned at the make-shift bandage around Jess' arm. The boy had indeed gotten himself hurt again. Mort Cory was sprawled on the couch, his spurred boots still touching the floor in deference to not damaging the fabric. It was not lost on Dr. Hanson that the man with the toughest reputation was the man protectively holding the sleeping child. He smiled, knowing few people had ever seen the soft side of the dark-haired rancher.

Dr. Hanson felt a pair of blue eyes on him. He hadn't seen Jess' hand drop to the butt of his revolver, yet he was definitely awake and watching the room. Dr. Hanson inclined his head towards the door he had just exited, indicating for Jess to follow him. From across the room came Slim's sleep laden voice. "Give her to me. Go see about Brianna." He lifted the blanket covering him, opening a space for Katie. Seeing Jess struggle to stand up and carry Katie, Dr. Hanson stepped in to move her over to Slim. Slim readjusted the pillow and blankets, promptly drifting back off to sleep.

Jess pulled a chair up beside Brianna's bed. She lifted her non-bandaged hand for him to hold. He could tell talking was hard for her but when he tried to stop her, she insisted on saying what she wanted to say.

"I'm sorry, Jess. I'm so sorry. I listened to Doreen and Edward and all the ladies from town. They filled my head with how violent you were, quick to draw and shoot; that you were dangerous to have around Katie. When you shot Simmons, it seemed like they were right. I didn't know you were protecting Slim – I was right there and didn't see what was happening. But you did. You did what you had to do. I didn't trust you enough to even give you a chance to explain anything. Then after Doreen died, Edward was there - consoling, helping, encouraging. I didn't love him. He forced me to marry him by threatening to hurt Katie. He got me to sign those contracts the same way; threatening to harm her or send her away and I'd never see her again. He took everything – the bank account, the house, the bakery - everything. Jess, I'm broke. I have nothing. I was so wrong about everything. I am so grateful you came when I asked. Please forgive me. Beth was right – I don't deserve you."

Jess was speechless. That was a lot of information for him to chew on. He felt Dr. Hanson touch his arm, indicating that Brianna needed to rest. "C'mon Jess, let me fix your arm."

Eyes fixed on Brianna, Jess allowed himself to be led over to sit on a nearby stool. Dr. Hanson removed the bandage and examined the wound. "Bullet went straight through, but I've got to clean it out. It's gonna hurt some, and I'll have to suture it; I'll just numb it some." He said, reaching for a syringe.

Before he knew it, Jess had grabbed him by the lapels, one-handedly lifting the doctor off the stool he was sitting on. "You stick me one more time or slip it in my food or drink and you're the one that's gonna be needing it for the next month – got it?" He growled. Nonplussed, the doctor gingerly peeled Jess's fingers off his shirt while answering in the affirmative; secretly pleased the Jess he knew was reasserting himself. He had missed the feisty side of the rancher. He took it as a sign Jess might finally have recovered from his experience the year before.

Jess stayed with Brianna through the rest of the night, dozing on the chair by her bedside. She awoke as the sun was just cresting the horizon. Jess stepped into the waiting room to see the occupants slowing emerging from their various sleeping accommodations. Upon seeing Jess, Katie ran over, wrapping her arms around him. "Is momma going to be okay?" she asked him.

"Yes, little one, she's going to be just fine. She's asking for you." Smiling, Jess opened the door to Brianna's room and left the two their privacy.

Dr. Hanson determined that Brianna should stay in his care for a few more days. Afterwards, if everyone agreed, she would benefit by moving out to the ranch to finish recovery. As expected, the suggestion was warmly accepted and the ranch family set about making room for her and Katie. Jess didn't feel it was proper to move them into his house; at least not until Brianna had healed and they could be married. Wanting to be close by, he moved his belongings back to his room in the bunkhouse, leaving his old room in the house for the new guests.

At Slim's request, the family lawyer looked into Brianna's financial and housing situation. Even as Edwards' widow, she would not inherit her own former holdings. Edward had incorporated them into other, failed businesses, necessitating total liquidation of everything to pay off his debts. However, Slim's lawyer was able to get the contracts Brianna had signed declared null and void, separating them from Edward's other assets. Brianna's holdings reverted to what she had owned before she married Edward; the cash in her bank account was gone but she had her house and the bakery business back.

With Brianna's direction and approval, Slim and Jess set about moving Brianna and Katie's things out to the ranch. They enlisted Beth's help in packing 'them female things', as Jess had put it, while he and Slim boarded up the house and moved the loaded trunks. Beth snickered, knowing that if Jess was going to get married, he would soon find out a whole lot more about 'them female things'.

They had discussed at length what to do about the bakery business. Although Edward had been manipulative with Brianna, he had actually hired good help at the bakery. At Beth's suggestion, Brianna agreed to sell part ownership in the bakery to her employees. The agreement would be contingent on them continuing the operation, under Beth's supervision, until Brianna could once more return to work. It was a novel idea for the times, but the employees embraced it wholeheartedly.

Slim had just levered a trunk into the bed of the buckboard when he heard footsteps purposefully approaching on the boardwalk. He leaned his back against the wagon, removing his hat and wiping the sweat from his forehead. He glanced up when the footsteps stopped, not surprised to see Mrs. Lansing standing there, a serious frown upon her aged face. It was a look that always made Slim think she had sucked a sour pickle before going out in public.

She was a tiny woman yet carried herself in a formal and erect manner; announcing to the world that she was important – even if only in her own eyes. She chaired the Ladies Guild and played piano at Sunday services, positions which lent to the illusion of self-importance. A fashionable hat matching her immaculate clothing topped her gray head; every one of the gray hairs in perfect placement. She crossed gloved hands over themselves in front of her as she eyed the blond rancher.

"Mr. Sherman." She began. She waited for Slim to look at her. Even though she was standing on the sidewalk and he was standing in the street, he was still taller than she was.

"Mr. Sherman." She began again. "I really must protest the indecency of Mrs. Jacobs consorting with your hired man; the man who killed her husband, no less. It isn't proper, not proper at all; and to think that poor Mr. Jacobs has barely been in his grave a week." She dabbed a handkerchief at her eyes, wiping away non-existent tears. "I understand that killer has the audacity to move her into his quarters at the ranch; to live in sin – and with a child there too!" She fanned herself as if she might succumb to a case of the vapors. "I just can't imagine anyone allowing a child to be subjected to the presence of such a horrible man." She paused barely long enough to grab a breath. "Mr. Sherman, surely someone as honorable as you and your wife, of all people, cannot condone such behavior under your very roof." She paused to take another breath. Slim took the opportunity to straighten up, resulting in him now being a couple more inches taller than the woman.

"Mrs. Lansing." Slim began before she had a chance to start up again. He moved languidly, deliberately towards the sidewalk, hat still in hand. There was nothing overtly threatening in his stance, yet Mrs. Lansing found herself suddenly chilled by his presence.

"First off, Jess Harper isn't my hired man. He is my partner; half owner in the Sherman-Harper Ranch and Relay Station – has been for many years." His voice was calm, straightforward, with a slight edge to it. He put one foot on the bottom step but didn't step up. "Second, your poor Mr. Jacobs coerced Brianna McConnell into marrying him, using the threat of hurting her daughter. He also forced her to sign everything – her house and the business - over to him." He took the step. Mrs. Lansing was now eye level with the second button of Slim's shirt. He placed his foot on the sidewalk. "Third, your poor Mr. Jacobs beat the hell out of his wife numerous times, and you just turned a blind eye to it." He stepped onto the sidewalk, pulling himself up to his full height, towering over her. Mrs. Lansing was now eye level with Slim's lower rib cage. She took a step back to see up into Slim's face, her mouth agape. Never losing eye contact, Slim continued on. "Fourth, 'that killer' as you called him, is a former sheriff and has, on more than one occasion, saved both Katie and Brianna's lives." Slim calmly raked a hand through his hair before settling his hat upon his head. "And last but not least, Mrs. Lansing, you can tell the rest of the town gossips the soon–to-be Mrs. HARPER's living arrangements are none of your business."

He touched the brim of his hat and nodded politely before turning to re-enter Brianna's house. He couldn't hide the smile that crossed his features as he heard Mrs. Lansing exclaim: "Well, I never!" and stomp off down the sidewalk. He smile froze instantly as he came face to face with Beth. She was standing feet apart, arms crossed loosely across her chest, her head inclined slightly, and a bemused look upon her face. She rocked back and forth on her heels before saying with an impish gleam in her eye. "And you called me a Momma Bear!" She couldn't hold her composure any longer and they broke into a fit of laughter. Jess entered the room then, totally unaware of what had transpired. When he looked at them quizzically, it sent the couple into an even bigger round of laughter. Jess just shook his head and went back to packing things.

_**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR**_

_**Katie and Brianna move to the ranch**_

Within days, Katie had settled into the ranch's routine. She was Jess' shadow if he was working around the yard or barns; a constant source of questions about the how and why things worked the way they did. She was a fast learner and soon was helping with chores even though it wasn't asked of her. When Jess had to ride out, she happily played with Buttons III, or the barn kittens. She quickly became a critter collector, much as Mike and Andy had done before her.

Brianna's injuries and bruises healed while she gained her strength back. Although polite and seemingly concerned over her health, Jess kept his distance. There was awkwardness between them she didn't understand. Sometimes, across the supper table, she would catch him watching her, a hurt and worried look in his eyes.

One evening after supper, Beth noticed Brianna staring out the window, watching Jess who was silhouetted against the corral fence.

"You need to tell him." Beth said quietly.

"Tell him what?" Brianna countered distractedly, not taking her eyes away from Jess.

"You're ready to move on with your life together. He's never been in love before. He's afraid he'll do something to remind you of how bad it was with Edward. He won't come to you, ask you. He won't touch you until you let him know it's okay."

Brianna turned then, a quizzical look upon her face. "I don't understand. He had us set a wedding date; made plans to move into his house."

Beth nodded sadly yet knowingly. "That's both his honor and his need to protect others. He swore to protect you and Katie. He'll marry you to keep that promise. Even though he loves you, he'll keep his distance; shut himself away because he won't take the chance of you rejecting him again. You chose a complex man to love."

"You mean he'd sacrifice himself in a potentially loveless marriage just to keep his word; his honor?"

Beth nodded. "If you don't love him, you need to release him from that promise. But if you love him, you need to fight for him – for all of him."

"Beth, I don't know how to fight for him."

Beth removed Brianna's shawl from the coat rack, holding it out towards her. Opening the outside door, she winked and said, "Then show him." Brianna blushed as she slipped the shawl around her shoulders and stepped outside.

Jess didn't have to look to know who was walking towards him. Ever since the first time she had applied the healing oil to his back, he had known when she was near. It had taken his mind a lot longer to figure it out; to know it was Brianna, not Doreen, who had eased his pain and soothed him out of his nightmares. Even when he thought he would marry Doreen, he had never felt her presence like he had with Brianna; the same "knowing" he felt with Slim and Beth.

She stopped beside him, resting her arms on the top rail, mimicking his pose. "Nice night out." She said, looking around, appreciating the moon lit scene before her. She could see their warm breath cloud in the cooler night air. She was disappointed when he neither acknowledged her presence nor answered her with anything more than an "uh ha". _Fight for him_ Beth had said. How do you fight for something intangible? How do you show a man you love him when he won't even acknowledge your presence, let alone touch you?

"I've missed you, missed us." She tried again.

"I'm not the one who left." He responded, not unkindly. He turned; shoulders slumped, drifting aimlessly along the corral fence before stopping again. Ouch, that hurt, thought Brianna as she followed cautiously, once again stopping near him.

She nodded her head, acknowledging his statement. "I deserved that. You're right. I made a mistake, a terrible mistake I can't take back. I should have trusted you; at least let you explain." She looked up at him, placing her hand on his arm. "But I am asking you to forgive me. I don't know how to make it up to you; have you trust me again."

"Ain't the trustin' that's the problem." He said without looking at her. "You proved that to me when you made me Katie's guardian; when you trusted me to take the shot on the hill." He couldn't seem to stand still, thoroughly uncomfortable with the discussion. He was still hurt and didn't want to talk about it. He ambled a few more feet along the corral fence before stopping again, resting his arms on the railing.

"I don't understand. Then what's the problem?"

"It shouldn't have happened in the first place." There was an obvious hurt in his voice.

"You are right. I can't deny that. It was a bitter lesson, but I have learned it. All I ask is for you to give me another chance. You said you never stopped loving me. Well, I never stopped loving you either, even when I doubted you. Even when everyone told me how you were a killer. I knew. Deep down inside I knew you weren't like that. But then Doreen died, and Edward was there. It is my fault. I was so lost and confused and he took advantage of it. Before I knew what was happening, he owned me. Please, Jess, please forgive me and let me try again; let us try again."

"I'm marrying you ain't I?" he asked, somewhat bitterly.

"You might be marrying me, but you have no intention of being my husband. I want 'us' back, Jess. I want us."

"I'd have helped you. You could have come to me." His voice was flat, unemotional, his gaze fixed on the horizon.

She looked at him sharply, her voice carrying an edge to it. "No, I couldn't; at least not at first."

Jess turned to look at her.

"Edward threatened Katie, but he also threatened you. Said you'd meet with an unfortunate accident if I didn't do as he said. I couldn't see any way out. I couldn't talk to anyone, couldn't go anywhere without him. You saw how he never left my side when we were at the bakery. When we were home, he locked me in the bedroom. He never loved me. He only wanted to own me – and my business. He never let me forget I was one of his possessions, and as such he could do anything he wanted to; including beating me if he took a mind to. He was a sick, pathetic little man with illusions of grandeur. He told you he made love to me; that was a lie. He may have had my body but nothing else, Jess, nothing else. He knew I loathed him, so his greatest pleasure was in claiming his marital 'rights' whenever and however he wanted. He was a brutal man." She stopped, wiping tears from her eyes, and drawing in a ragged breath.

"I only survived when he…when he…by thinking of you. It's the only way I could make it through. There were times he hurt me so badly he had no choice but to send for Dr. Hanson. It was the only time I had any privacy. Edward wouldn't consider being in the same room as the doctor and myself. I knew one day Edward would go too far and kill me. I was terrified for Katie - what he might do to her after I was gone. I had to make sure she would be safe no matter what.

It was Dr. Hanson's idea to give guardianship to you. It didn't take any convincing. In my heart I already knew you would protect her, raise her as your own. Dr. Hanson arranged for the attorney and judge and everything so I could sign the papers; make it legal so Edward had no say in it."

"But why choose me? I'm a single man; someone most would consider unsuitable. I don't know nothing about raising a child – especially a girl. You could have chosen Slim and Beth or a half a dozen other couples in town." Jess questioned.

"Katie trusted you from the very beginning. She loves you and you love her. That was enough for me. With you, it would ease my death for her. I knew I had to leave, but if he killed me, Katie would be safe with you. I thought I'd gotten away with it, but Edward found out and beat me again. This time, Dr. Hanson threatened to get the sheriff if Edward didn't allow me to be moved to the infirmary. He was the one who sent for you. I should have left sooner, come to you sooner; but I was too afraid. But in the end, I did turn to you. I needed you." She was sobbing as she finished.

Jess cupped her face in his hands and thumbed away her tears. He kissed her forehead gently and enfolded her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around him, sniffling against his chest.

A crack was forming in the wall around his heart. He was helpless with a crying female. They undid him. He now knew the full story of how and why she had married Edward. How she had been deceived from the beginning and how horribly she had been treated. Jess berated himself for not stepping in, for not trying harder to win her back. Even after he had recovered his eyesight, there had been time before Edward married her. And afterwards, he should have followed up on his suspicion that Brianna was being beaten.

"Jess," She said. She felt his "Hmm?" rumble against her ear. "Make love to me." She felt him go still. She tilted her head back so that her chin was resting on his chest, looking up into his eyes as he looked down at her. "Please. I need to feel you; be with you. Help me forget." He dropped his hands to her arms, setting her away from himself. He looked into her face, not sure he had heard her right. His hurt and anger dissolved – she needed him, wanted him – wanted them to be one again.

"Are you sure? It's not too soon after…you know. I don't want to hurt you. Bree, we aren't married." In answer, she moved closer, her hands sliding under his vest. Their bodies fit together well; her head nestled just under his chin. He closed his eyes, fighting to ignore the hands moving down his chest, following his ribs. Her thumbs slid down to traverse his flat stomach, before creating a fiery trail along his tender sides. He sucked in a shaky breath trying to quell his reaction to her touch. Feeling him respond, she reached up and untied his neckerchief, letting it fall to the ground. She felt his body tense as she softly brushed the exposed scar with her lips. She kissed him gently, following the scar down to the base of this throat before moving to his jaw and then capturing his lips with a deep, intimate kiss. His arms found their way around her, crushing her to him.

He cleared his throat as he once more set her away from himself. "Ummmm." He stammered. "You'd best be sure about this 'cause you're starting something I'm gonna want to finish." She smiled at him wickedly, naked desire in her eyes. He was held motionless, mesmerized as both her hands slid from the vein pulsing near his throat down to the first fastened button of his shirt, deftly unbuttoning it before brazenly kissing the bare skin she'd uncovered. Her touch set his skin on fire. Her fingers traveled to the next button and the next; once again deftly unbuttoning them. Her palms spread his shirt apart as they explored his exposed chest. She placed a lingering kiss over his heart, the tip of her tongue tasting, teasing him; sending ripples of delightful ecstasy exploding along every nerve ending. She responded with her own soft moan when his touch explored places no proper Texas gentleman's hands should be.

His mind told him to stop. Honor told him he couldn't be with her this way, not without benefit of marriage. She deserved more respect than to be taken as a lover. She wasn't a one-night stand or lady of the evening. She was to be loved as a wife -his wife.

He arched himself away from her. He grasped both of her hands lightly, stopping their progress down his body. "Brianna, please, we aren't married yet. If we do this, it is something we can't undo. Please, please be sure. If we go any further, I'm not sure I can stop."His voice was heavy with desire. In answer, she withdrew her hands from his, caressing his neck while kissing the tender area along his jaw. "I'm sure, Jess." She murmured against his throat. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I'll be your wife soon enough but make love to me now."

He swallowed convulsively as her touch continued to elicit spontaneous reactions within his body. He found himself losing the battle for self-control. "I think we need to take this inside." He said, indicating his house. "Don't think the owner will mind if we use his place."He covered her mouth with his own, allowing himself to be swept away as he picked her up and carried her across the threshold of what would soon be their home.

From her vantage point behind the front curtain, Beth grinned when she saw a light go on in the house up the hill.

"Are you spying on them?" Slim asked from behind her, causing her to jump. Before she could answer or drop the curtain back in place, he pulled it back further and grinned when he too saw the light.

"I think we can go to bed now." Slim said. "I'm betting we won't see either of them until morning." As he banked the fire for the night, he muttered. "It's about damn time those two figured it out." Turning down the lights he took Beth's hand in his and they retired to their bedroom.

The next morning, Beth and Slim awoke to the steady rhythm of someone chopping wood. Glancing at each other with a puzzled look, Slim slid into his pants and schlepped to the kitchen window where he saw Jess making short work of the fire wood log pile.

Stepping out the kitchen door, he rounded the corner of the house. Barefoot and shirtless, Slim shivered in the early morning coolness. "What the blazes are you doing?" he asked, his arms wrapped around himself in an effort to conserve his body heat. Slim's teeth were chattering as he switched his feet back and forth, resting one temporarily on top of the other one for warmth before repeating the process. When there was no answer, he tried again. "You got any idea what time it is?"

Jess set the axe into the chopping block. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he looked up saying, "Morning to you too. What's it look like I'm doing – I'm chopping wood."

"At this hour?" He asked, exasperated.

"What's wrong with the hour? Sun's been up for a while."

"Ya? And this from the man I couldn't pry out of bed before noon? By the way," Slim ventured, tongue in cheek, a knowing smirk on his face. "Where is Brianna?"

Jess had the grace to blush. "Aw, you know blamed well where she is. 'Sides, she likes the new-fangled plumbing we installed. She'll be down directly."

Slim turned to go back into the house but leaned back to stick his head around the corner. "How's about you bring some of that wood in and stoke up the fire for breakfast. I'm gonna go get warm, err, get dressed, and then I'll start some coffee."

Jess was just coming through the door, arms loaded with wood, when he heard Beth's startled screech from the bedroom. He chuckled, suspecting a certain someone had stuck his cold feet on his still in bed and warm wife. He chuckled even more when he heard Beth's giggles followed by muffled noises coming from the room. The coffee was done and bacon sizzling in the pan when Slim re-appeared. He was disheveled and only slightly more dressed than before.

Things smoothed out between Brianna and Jess as they worked at rebuilding their relationship. Although he was uncomfortable with the concept, Jess encouraged Brianna to make her own decision about her house in town. With his encouragement, she decided to keep the house but rent it out, liking being able to contribute to the ranch income in her own way. Like Slim, it took some getting used to before Jess accepted his fiancé having a role in contributing to the family income

He was glad of the talk he and Slim had had so long ago, following Slim's lead as he had already navigated the 'working wife' relationship. He was surprised and pleased at the business insight the women brought to running the ranch. Beth and Brianna had truly become partners with their mates in more ways than just the traditional husband and wife roles. It enriched all their lives.

Brianna returned to running the bakery but on a much-reduced schedule, only working when Katie was in school. This was facilitated by selling a larger portion of ownership to the employees. Although she would have been content to be Jess' wife fulltime, she was unwilling to give up income that could help grow the ranch or provide other things they wanted or needed.

_THE WEDDING_

On a warm day in early August Jess and Brianna were married in the town church. Having already been married twice, Brianna asked for a simple ceremony with only their closest friends in attendance. The only invited attendees were Katie, Slim, Beth and Nathan, Mort, plus Dr. and Mrs. Hanson. Mike, along with Andy and his wife arrived to surprise the couple just as they were ready to begin the ceremony. Jess was moved they had made the trip to be with him on his special day. He learned later that the boys had jokingly made side bets as to whether he'd go through with the wedding.

Brianna wore a simple cream gown she had ordered from the local seamstress while Jess wore a new dress coat, shirt, and pants that Brianna had convinced him to buy. As far as Jess was concerned, Brianna could have worn a flour sack because she was always beautiful to him and he loved her. He couldn't breathe when he got his first glimpse of her as she floated down the aisle. His hand shook as he placed the wedding ring on her finger, afraid this was a dream and he'd wake up without her. Before the ceremony concluded, Jess and Brianna had Katie come up to the altar to stand between them.

Jess knelt on one knee before Katie as he pulled a jewelry box from his pocket. Opening it, he removed a necklace, holding it so only Katie could see the three intertwined hearts; each individual heart engraved with one set of their initials, but all three carrying a capital "H" where the last name's initial belonged. As Jess fastened the necklace around Katie's neck, he said clearly, so that all could hear: "I, Jessop Marcus Harper, take thee, Katherine Mae McConnell, to be my daughter. To love and cherish as if you were my own. To raise you, provide for you, and keep you safe. To carry my last name if you so choose."

There wasn't a dry eye in the group when Katie nodded and said, "I love you, Poppa." A tear slid from his own eye. Picking her up as he stood, he then leaned over and kissed Brianna. The church bells rang as the new family started down the aisle.

To everyone's surprise, when the church doors were thrown open, they were greeted by Laramie's entire population waiting to congratulate the newlyweds. They were escorted to the town hall where tables of food were set out for their reception. There was even a wedding cake, lovingly created by the bakery employees. Later, after the food had been eaten and the tables cleared away, several musicians brought out their instruments and the town danced to the impromptu music.

Jess and Slim stood off to the side of the dance floor, drinks in hand. Neither was too sure where their wives had disappeared to. Pretending to watch the dancing couples, Slim said so quietly that only Jess could hear him.

"Jessop Marcus? Some name for a gunslinger." Jess elbowed Slim, eliciting a grunt.

"Ha!" Jess declared, in an equally soft voice. "It's not like you got any room to talk, Mathew Lawrence. Sounds like a damn lawyer." Both men chuckled, knowing neither would ever call the other by their full names again.

No one would tell the couple who had organized the reception, food, and music. Mort had merely clapped Jess on the back and told him to enjoy having the town do something for him for a change.

It was early evening when Jess and Brianna boarded the train to St. Louis. Slim held Katie and Nathan while Beth hugged and kissed the couple goodbye. Everyone waved from the platform as the train pulled away. Jess and Brianna stood at the back of the car until the station was out of sight. Settling into their seats, they were tired but happy the day was over, and they were now married. Brianna had changed into a brown traveling suit, but Jess still wore his dress clothes. He figured he spent plenty of time in jeans and work shirts, so it was no sacrifice to look good for his new wife. Although, he had ditched the tie as soon it seemed appropriate. No longer conscious of the faded scar encircling his neck, he preferred leaving his shirt collar open a button or two. He had insisted upon wearing his gun; he wasn't about to travel anywhere without it.

With Brianna sitting on his left, nearest the train window, Jess tried to relax. Brianna was soon asleep with her head on his shoulder, one hand around his arm. Jess watched her sleep, still amazed that they were actually married. He fiddled with the band on her finger.

He had designed the ring, having it made special for their wedding. Instead of the traditional narrow gold band, he had selected a wider band, inscribing their names and wedding date on the inside.

He couldn't get over a 'good woman' had accepted his proposal. He thought back to their rough start, the mistrust between them and then how she had shown her absolute faith in him on the edge of the cliff. He hoped he never had to take a shot like that again.

The steady sway of the train and the wheels' clackety clack lulled many of the other passengers to sleep. Jess was restless. His years on the trail had instilled a hyper awareness about his surroundings. His time as the small-town sheriff had fine-tuned it. It just wouldn't let him relax and enjoy the trip. Even though they arrived without incident, Jess just couldn't turn off his hyper vigilance until they were safely ensconced in their hotel room.

Their room was finer than anything Jess had ever experienced before. It was actually a suite consisting of a sitting/dining room and bedroom separated by sliding doors. The sitting room had an oversized couch and love seat along with a cozy dining table and chairs. A liquor cabinet offered some of the finest liquors to be had. The draperies were of the best material and a fire had already been lit in the fireplace. The bedroom was almost as large as the sitting room. There was a bureau, settee and a king size bed covered in handmade quilts. The combination of the two rooms nearly equaled the size of Jess's house.

Jess was glad to strip down to his shirt and pants, happily shedding his hat, gun, jacket, and boots. He sat on the couch, eyes closed, his head tilted back against the many small pillows, slowly allowing himself the luxury of relaxing. Brianna removed her traveling jacket and snuggled up to him. He automatically began removing her hairpins, letting her hair fall to its full length so he could run his fingers through it. He couldn't remember the first time he had done so but it was relaxing and they both enjoyed the intimacy. It had become their nightly routine before he would kiss her goodnight and leave her to go sleep in the bunkhouse. They had not lain with each other since the night at his house. As much as they desired each other, Jess had felt honor bound to wait until they were married. While he didn't exactly regret the night they spent together, he did not want to besmirch Brianna's reputation by making her his lover or mistress. He wanted her as his wife and as such, accorded her the proper respect due an honorable woman. They had both reluctantly agreed to wait until they were married. Waiting had been its own sweet torture. Their nights apart had been spent remembering when they had been together and anticipating when they could be together again.

Brianna practically purred as Jess stroked and ran his fingers through her hair. He lifted her chin and kissed her; a kiss that deepened as passion flamed. Now bonded together as husband and wife, they were free to be with each other. Layer after layer of clothing was discarded until there was nothing left between them when their bodies merged, culminating in their long-awaited release.

They lay together in the oversized bed, spent, satiated; with their arms and legs entwined. Neither remembered moving from the couch to the bedroom; remembering only the time they had spent lost in each other. Brianna lay on her side, tucked in beside him as he lay on his back; one arm around her.

Her head rested on his shoulder where she could watch him as he slept. It was the only time he wasn't in perpetual motion. In sleep, his features softened, erasing the hardness acquired and required by the harsh life he had led. She reached up to brush the wayward lock of curls off his forehead. Even in his sleep, he'd turn his face towards her, seeking the familiar touch of her hand. She wondered if he remembered the nights she had held him, soothing and comforting him as his fever raged or nightmares caused him to cry out in anguish. She had spent many nights sitting by his bedside. Sometimes she had just spoken quietly, sometimes hummed a tune she had learned as a child. Her voice or touch always seemed to calm his restless nights, allowing him to drift off into needed, restorative sleep. Her fingers traced his features, remembering the gaunt, wasted man that had come into her family's life a little more than a year ago. She had only sought to ease his pain; help him heal. It had never occurred to her that one day she would love and marry the man with the dubious past.

As was his habit, Jess awoke before dawn. He slowly became aware of the head on his shoulder, the warmth beside him. He nearly panicked upon realizing he was in an unfamiliar bed with a woman at his side. He looked down, relieved to see Brianna in his arms. He was afraid he would wake up to find yesterday had never happened; that she hadn't become his in every sense of the word. As she had done with him, he watched her as she lay sleeping. He readjusted their positions in order to see her better, feeling her snuggle back into him, her warm breath against his skin. He didn't want to wake her, yet could not resist the urge to touch her. For a man who could deliver a sledge hammer blow to an opponent, his touch was as light as a feather. His calloused fingers traced her features; her eyelids, her cheekbone, her lips, and chin, finding wonderment at how delicate she was. His hand moved across her shoulder and down her arm, delighting in the smooth skin. He wanted to cup her roundness, feel her flat stomach and rounded derriere but stopped himself. Like him, she rarely got a day free of responsibility, a day to sleep without guilt. He would wait. They had three more days before they had to return home. There was plenty of time to enjoy each other. His resolve was nearly undone when she murmured his name softly and turned into him, her naked body pressed fully against his. He kissed her forehead as he drew the covers up higher, wrapped both arms around her and drifted back to sleep.

It was almost noon before either of them stirred again. Their good morning kiss quickly turned into more, much more, before they finally emerged from their marital bed and dressed for the day. Jess felt all duded up in his new suit. He would have been happier in something less formal but realized the larger city required he dress appropriately.

Brianna couldn't help but laugh as Jess' thoughts turned to food. He didn't care where they ate, but he was hungry and wanted to eat before they did anything else.

Their hotel hosted a restaurant where they were waited on and served quickly. The portions were good sized and well prepared. Brianna watched in amazement as Jess consumed a large steak with all the fixings, washed it down with a pot of coffee and finished off with two slices of apple pie. She'd forgotten about his insatiable appetite. Although, she did wonder where he put it all since there wasn't an ounce of fat on his body. Her mind flitted back to when Doreen was taking care of him – how nothing seemed to nourish him so he could heal, how he had come so close to dying more than once. Sitting across the table from him, it was hard to imagine how sick he had been. She was sorry Doreen was gone, but eternally thankful Jess had survived.

They strolled, arm in arm, around the city, taking in the sights. They had plans for watching a play and a dinner at one of the fancy restaurants. Beyond that, Brianna had planned a little shopping for a few things. Jess had rolled his eyes, having never seen a woman who went shopping for a "few things" who didn't return with enough packages to need a porter to carry them. Even when Daisy had used to send him or Slim to town for a "few things", it always resulted in the buckboard being full.

He happily escorted Brianna from store to store, as she purchased new work clothes and a suit for him, gifts for those back home and a few things for herself. Jess quickly became her porter as the pile of packages grew and grew. They returned to their room to relieve Jess of the packages before returning to the city streets for more shopping.

Jess wasn't sure he wanted to step foot in the ladies' fashion store. However, he was quite surprised to find men were expected to accompany their ladies for their shopping. The store had a special section set aside for the men. It had comfortable chairs and free drinks. Smoking was even allowed if the men chose to indulge. An attendant was assigned to fill his every desire as to food, drink, or smoke while he waited for his woman to model whatever finery she had tried on.

In the relaxed setting, Jess found himself enjoying Brianna's modeling of the suits and dresses she contemplated buying. He wasn't much help with the selection, as he liked everything she showed him. She finally made her selections, this time having them delivered to their hotel while they continued their tour of the city.

Brianna exclaimed in excitement when she spotted Giorgio's Bakery and made a beeline for the entrance. "But Bree," Jess said, confused by her excitement. "Honey, you _own_ a bakery. What's so dawg gone special about this one?"

"I get to see new things, get new ideas for our bakery." Then she turned with a mischievous gleam in her eye and said. "They have taste testing." Not one to be left out where food, especially sweets, were involved, Jess reached out to hold the door open for her.

When the proprietor learned Brianna was a fellow baker looking for new ideas and recipes, they were taken on a tour of the facility. There was indeed taste testing. At least one of every item in the shop was brought out for their perusal. Jess learned there were more kinds of bread than he'd ever seen. But it was the sweet treats which captured his attention. There were cinnamon rolls with sticky icing; something called a croquembouche tower and many other things he couldn't pronounce or didn't recognize but liked the taste of. His new favorite was a cone shaped pastry filled with a thick, heavy cream. The pastry was so light it melted in his mouth, leaving a delicious dollop of sweet cream to enjoy. These would definitely be hits back home.

Brianna glowed with excitement as she and Giorgio discussed their respective bakery businesses and exchanged recipes. She would be going home with lots of new ideas for things to offer her customers. Jess watched with pride, seeing Brianna in her element. If he had given her what she thought she wanted – a home and family to care for – he was now sure she would have become bored at the ranch. Just as riding, working the cattle or training horses was in his blood, baking and thus the bakery had been in Brianna's. It still hurt that his shooting Simmons and their subsequent break up was the catalyst for Brianna opening the bakery. He was slowly getting over it, but it still stung at times. Jess found it interesting both Beth and Brianna had owned businesses before they had married the ranchers. Both had kept at least part interest in their business while being wives and mothers. Like Slim had told him, it took some getting used to. But he was starting to like and appreciate the change, realizing their industrious and intelligent wives had added an unexpected depth to their world.

Jess' interest was piqued when Brianna steered him towards the gunsmith shop she had found. It offered every type of weapon from earlier vintage to current models. Here, Jess became immersed in checking the different models and deciding which would suit his purposes the best. He quickly selected a new rifle to replace his old, well used one. He was happy with his side arm, not wanting to replace it. Brianna felt a chill as she watched him handling the firearms. His moves were smooth and automatic, the weapon becoming a part of him as soon as he touched it.

It didn't take him long to finish deciding what he needed for the ranch; arranging for them to be shipped home so that he didn't need to carry the weapons on the city street.

It was early evening by the time they had finished shopping, necessitating them finding the restaurant where they had reservations. Jess felt somewhat uncomfortable in the fancy eatery. The menu offered selections he couldn't pronounce and didn't know what they were. Brianna immediately put him at ease when she admitted she didn't know what half the selections on the menu were either. They had a good laugh over it, before selecting something they recognized and could pronounce.

After supper, they strolled back to the hotel, enjoying the evening air. Cuddling together on the couch, Jess stretched his legs out before him towards the fire. Brianna was beside him, her feet tucked up under her dress. His arm around her, she laid her head on his shoulder. Both sighed as one, tired yet content at the same time.

She dropped her hand to her lap when Jess took over removing her hairpins. It felt good when he stroked her hair, his fingers massaging her scalp; relieving the ache caused by having her hair piled on top of her head all day. She looked up at him, seeing him absently gazing into the flames. She reached a hand up to run through his dark curls, massaging his scalp as he had done hers. She watched his eyes close in enjoyment, his body slowly relaxing. She smiled, glad something so simple gave him pleasure. He turned then, kissing her gently, his thumb stroking her cheek, his hands gentle, but firm. As she responded, the kisses became more ardent until they became lost in a repeat of their first night together.

Morning once again found Jess awake before Brianna. He lay there, contemplating what they had planned for the day. He couldn't remember Brianna mentioning anything specific. He wished he could sleep in, but he was wide-awake. Brianna hadn't stirred, but her hands were doing amazing things to his body which required stopping immediately or crossing the point of no return. As they lay together afterwards, Jess felt Brianna's fingertips idly tracing patterns on his chest while his own hand gently stroked her arm. He trapped her hand under his. "Bree," he started to say.

"Jess, can we go home? Today?" She had taken the words right out of his mouth. The city was fun and all, but he already longed to be home at the ranch. "I want to go home."

"You're sure? They won't be expecting us for two more days." He answered, sincerely hoping she was the same mind as him.

"Yes, please. I want to go home. I miss everyone. I've had enough "city" to last me for quite a while. I thought I'd enjoy it more. Oh, the shopping has been incredibly fun. Being able to actually see, touch, and try on the clothes was more than I could have hoped for. But I've had enough. How about you?"

"You don't have to ask me twice." He answered. "How soon can we be packed? We have to see about all them packages you done collected. Maybe we can just ship most of it home instead of trying to carry it all?"

Brianna was already out of bed and dressing. She tossed clothing onto the bed to pack into their suitcases. She arranged boxes into an orderly fashion. By the time Jess had dressed, she had everything organized. They'd have to get a box from the freight office, but it could be packed and sent on the same train they would take. Jess whistled in amazement.

"Wow." He exclaimed. "I guess you really are ready to go home. Now, just tell me what you want done and I'll see to it." He was quickly dispatched to the train station to inquire about passage and shipping their items.

Stopping only long enough to grab a quick meal, it wasn't long before their belongings were delivered to the train station and they boarded to head home. Jess watched Brianna as she slept on his shoulder, the steady sway of the train having lulled her to sleep. He still found it hard to believe he was married; yet he wouldn't give her up for anything in the world. She had become his world. With her, everything was good and right. She was his beacon when he was lost, his sanctuary from his demons. He leaned his head against hers and slept.

_**SIX MONTHS LATER**_

Jess awoke to the early morning sunlight reflecting off new fallen snow. He laid his cheek against the top of Brianna's head, taking in the flowery fragrance of her hair. She was tucked up against him, her head lying on his chest, one arm resting across his bare stomach. Just thinking how lucky he was to call this woman his wife, his heart swelled so that he thought it would burst. Until now, he'd never known what it was like to love someone with his entire being and have them love him just as intensely.

He gently stroked her long auburn hair, loving the silky feeling of it. His fingers lightly traced down her arm and then down the soft skin on her side, coming to rest upon her swollen belly. It was all he could do to keep from shedding a joyful tear. She carried his baby; something he had never dared to dream of, to envision ever happening. All his life he had thought he'd die young - and alone. He'd figured he'd most likely die at the hands of another gunman or shot from ambush. He had never dared to dream of being a rancher, of being married and having children. Now, he was not only married, but also his stepdaughter, who called him Poppa, slept just down the hall. In a few months, his wife would bring another child into their world; into their family. He thanked his lucky stars for the day he had wandered onto the Sherman property and run into Slim Sherman. It was because of that chance meeting he had been able to turn his life around; create something good and worth living for.

He silently chuckled to himself as he remembered Daisy's words_. "…I'm only sorry I won't be here to see you raise your families." She had looked pointedly at Jess "Yes, you too. It'll happen one day. I have faith in that. But I love you the way you are – what you have become. You're a good man."_

Careful not to wake Brianna, Jess slid out of bed and got dressed. He turned when he heard her murmur his name and kissed her forehead, softly telling her he'd be right back. He watched her reach across where he had just lain; pulling his pillow into her arms, snuggling contentedly before settling back into sleep. Grabbing his hat, gloves, and winter coat, he walked up the hill to the cemetery. Kneeling on one knee, hat in hand, he brushed the snow away from Daisy's marker. As he did so, he spoke as he had done some many times before.

"I didn't believe it when you told me that there were good things yet to come, or when you said to go home and live my life. Never thought something good could come out of dying. But if you don't mind, I'd just as soon not do it again." He stood, fidgeting with his hat, seeking his next words. Misty eyed, he watched the smoke curling from his chimney.

"I love them, Daisy. Can't imagine my life without them; can't even remember what it was like before they came into my life. Now we're going to have an addition to our family. You said there were good things to come – well they certainly did. I never thought I was a good man; but you said I was, and it meant more to me than you'll ever know. Slim gave me the chance to be one. He believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself. But, Brianna," He shook his head in wonderment. "She makes me want to be even better, to be better for her and Katie; to reach for the sky. She's a good woman, and she loves me. Can you believe that? A good woman loves me – and I love her."

"Well," he said, raking his hand through his unruly hair before settling his hat on his head. "It's time to go. Beth and Slim will be looking for us to join them for breakfast."

As a thought occurred to him, he swept his hat from his head again. Holding it over his heart, he once more knelt on one knee among the crosses in the cemetery. Head bowed, he spoke: "Lord, you know I never had much schooling and ain't been much for praying or church going either. But thank you for giving this ole has-been gunslinger a new life, a wife, a family, and a future." He stood then and put his hat back on his head.

Katie and Brianna met him at the door. They had their winter coats on, ready to walk down to Beth and Slim's house. Jess disappeared around the side of the house, coming back with a wooden sled he had made for Katie. She happily climbed on as Jess took the rope and pulled her down the lane with one hand, the other wrapped lovingly and protectively around Brianna's waist.

THE END.


End file.
